Tag Archives: horror

The best one yet!

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So I walked in on my husband the other day, and this was what he was watching….

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I knew it was going to be good.

Or bad.

Or so bad, it’s good.

I wasn’t disappointed.

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A walking tree stump reincarnation?

I was in!

Having missed the first third of the movie I can’t give you the background story, but I knew something was going to go wrong when the visiting doctors dug up a tree with a face and a knife in it’s… chest?

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Back at the lab, the lady doctor/heroine whipped out her stethoscope to check its vitals.

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The diagnosis? None. They were stumped… (pun intended) and left the room to confer with colleagues.

Bad idea.

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Very bad.

The rampaging evil spirit tree, which we learned is named Tobanga, ran amok and captured a South Sea native girl.

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And hurled her in the quicksand.

She begged for her life…

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But Tobanga was merciless.

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Bye bye scantily clad native girl.

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Her death stirred up the villagers and they vowed to track the malevolent creature.

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But you know that didn’t go as planned.

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This fellow was tossed into a ravine and impaled….

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Which pissed off the guy in the stunning headband to no end.

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He gathered more natives to dig a pit… and used himself as bait to lure the creature.

Edge of your seat drama. Yessiree.

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Success! We shall stab the beast with our spears..

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Light him on fire and make charcoal briquettes!

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But alas, that didn’t turn out well either.

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Headband guy was doomed.

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And chucked off the side of a mountain.

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And as you know it had to..

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Tobanga then captured our heroine.

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Her fellow doctors armed themselves and were in hot pursuit, willing to lay down their lives for the fair haired damsel in distress.

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(Except for the guy on the right who knows that bitch Karen deserved it for digging up the cursed thing in the first place.)

Bam!

Our hero saved the day with an expertly placed shot to Tobanga’s … heart?

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And into the quicksand he went….

Bye bye Stumpy.

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The natives were so grateful they asked our hero if he would be their village witch doctor.

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And though flattered, he refused… and moved back to Burbank with Karen.

Yeah, you know he’s going to regret that.

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Another classic.

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Yes, the husband found another classic horror film while eating lunch the other day.

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The Green Slime, circa 1968. By the time I tuned in the slime had turned into tentacled creatures…

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And the perfectly coiffed nurses were desperately trying to save the injured.

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The creatures were relentless. Think Jehovah Witnesses…. they never give up.

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There was hand wringing and high pitched shrieking and numerous quivering lips.

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But never fear ladies, the hero has a high tech gizmo cart which will save the day.

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Only it didn’t…

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And the space station was soon in peril.

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Mission control had no answer.

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So an escape pod was launched.

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But no! There were creatures outside ready to block its path.

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Cue the hero and his handy dandy ray gun… he barbecued them.

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And then, just when you thought it was safe…. creatures were interfering with lift off on the bridge.

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Our hero battled bravely…

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Or maybe he experienced an interstellar orgasm, it’s hard to tell…. either way, he sacrificed himself for the greater good. The pod escaped.

And the station with all the burning creatures went down in flames.

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Yes sir.

A classic piece of cinema.

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So wrong…. it’s right.

 

My husband watches television to relax.

And while he’s usually knee deep in the news or old westerns, occasionally there will be a bit of classic cinema thrown into the mix.

 

 

Last week?

It was The Giant Claw.

 

 

Alternate title? When Dr. Seuss goes horribly wrong.

 

 

I mean come on.

Only a mother could love that face.

 

Description

Engineer Mitch MacAfee (Jeff Morrow) spots a UFO while directing a study at the North Pole. But when the Air Force arrives they find nothing on radar, throwing Mitch’s reputation into doubt. But soon many airplanes are reporting attacks by a UFO, which turns out to be a giant speeding bird from outer space. Along with mathematician Sally Caldwell (Mara Corday), Mitch tries to determine a way to stop the bird, which has a force field that renders all weapons useless.

 

Yup. It was a classic.

Big Bird terrorizes New York.

 

 

Here he is attacking the United Nations.

 

 

1950’s people were running.

 

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Which seemed to please the bird to no end.

 

 

Airplanes?

 

 

Yeah, he liked those too.

 

 

But never fear, these scientists will save the day.

 

 

The world is counting on them.

 

 

Bird was not impressed.

 

 

But look at all those high tech tubes and toggle switches!

It was only a matter of time.

 

 

The Giant Claw was toast…

And slowly sunk into the Hudson River.

Classic!