Tag Archives: amazon

Things Amazon thinks I need.

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Every once in a while my Facebook feed drops a list of products Amazon thinks I need to purchase. Let’s examine them shall we….

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While I’m a Star Wars fan from way back and can totally see the appeal of droid pressed beverages, I don’t drink coffee… so strike one.

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Blobfish plush toy? It’s ugly, that’s true… but I don’t feel the need to own one, so strike two.

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A window cleaning robot? Now we’re talking!

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A window cleaning robot that has to be plugged in?

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A window cleaning robot that will lose suction and fall off my dirty window? Strike three.

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I’m guessing they intended this highly ruffled fashion faux pas to be worn while the robot cleans my windows, but since that was a bust… I’m calling strike four.

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Amazon always brings it.

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I saw something interesting advertised on Facebook the other day.

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It’s some kind of fruit filled bubble that bursts when dropped in cocktails and I thought hey… that might be fun for the man cave bar. Until I saw they were $25 per plus tax… and $24.95 shipping. Undeterred, I sought them on Amazon.

While I was a bit disappointed they didn’t have the same brand, I was tickled by the imposter bubbles’ name.

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I might have to order them.

I mean really, who could resist?

🤣

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Try it. I dare you…

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If you’ve ever been owned by a cat… and trust me, that’s the correct word placement… you’ll know they are self cleaning and do not require nor tolerate being bathed. Which is why I have to share the utterly ridiculous thing I saw on Amazon yesterday.

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I fear for the tender flesh of the unsuspecting rubes who purchase this kit. Because if you’ve ever wondered how many layers of clothing a feline can tear through? Wrapping your cat in that abomination and spraying him with water will deliver the answer in two seconds flat.

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An adventure? Sure. You can call it that….. as you try in vain to staunch the bleeding.

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Said no cat ever.

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Obediently? Proof positive these people have never met… no less lived with a cat.

The only thing this product listing had right was a question…

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No. But it should…

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That really is unfortunate.

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Remember the misfortune fortune cookies I was going to buy for the man cave bar?

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I posted about them a while back but never went through with the purchase. Which, after tracking them down on Amazon and reading the reviews, turns out was very fortunate indeed.

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Wow. Good thing I wasn’t handing these out to friends. Going home with a doggy bag is one thing, but weirdly green poo? No one wants that.

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Although it seems not everyone shares my adverse opinion of oddly hued feces.

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Yikes. When they said it turns your tongue black, they weren’t kidding.

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Let’s play.

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Admit it, you’ve got nothing else to do.

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As a voracious reader, this is an easy one for me…

Books!

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In our house there are numerous stacks (and bags and crates and shelves and closets and boxes, well you get the idea) filled with books and I have never… not once in my life, ever thought I had enough.

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So how about you?

What can’t you stop buying…

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Because I’m full of random nonsense right now.

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I bought this for the man cave bar, mainly because Amazon is evil and it’s entirely too easy to satisfy impulse shopping cravings.

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It looked like a great idea, but in reality… was a royal pain in the patoot. The inner chamber would never seat properly and every time you painstakingly filled the outer, the water would leak through and pop the inner chamber up like a cork.

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Solution? Weigh down the inner chamber with frozen fruit.

I refuse to be beaten.

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The next time my husband refuses to listen me? That is what I’m going to show him.

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Cheaters chicken and dumplings. Easy, creamy and quite tasty. What’s not to love?

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In case anyone is interested.

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I use a family size rotisserie chicken, low sodium broth and lite salt with half the sodium. It’s still savory.

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For those of us who love our cats?

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This is probably very close to the truth.

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Someone thought these were a good idea…

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Do I love a good baked potato? Of course… please pass the butter. But do I need someone’s face on my tater?

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I definitely do not.

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Best gift ever? Clearly some people don’t know how to shop.

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Whaaaat?

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Let’s wrap our minds around the idea of someone actually applying for a patent for water soluble panties in a can.

🥴

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They’re right. I love cats… but I do not love that. Not even close.

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Say it isn’t so!!!!

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Have you ever fallen head over heels in love with a perfume? Become so completely enamored with it that you’ve worn it since the first day it was released? I did, way back in 1986 when Prescriptives (a sister company to Clinique) released Calyx.

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Energizing and audacious, the classic, acclaimed fragrance of Calyx is crisp, green, and ideal for the fragrance connoisseur who appreciates the unique and distinctive. Notes: Grapefruit, Mandarin, Passion Fruit, Mango, Papaya, Freesia, Muguet, Neroli, Lily, Jasmine, Oakmoss, Sandalwood, Vetiver.

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What on earth is a Calyx? Well, I’m glad you asked.

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Anywho…. this has been my signature fragrance for 35 years and while I love to try other scents, I always have a bottle of my favorite waiting in the wings.

Enter 2021, another shit show of a year where Covid is thriving but my beloved perfume will cease to exist. Yes, to my utter and absolute horror I discovered the company has halted production… and River is not a happy camper.

My second reaction…. after screaming Noooo! at the top of my lungs?

Amazon.

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Thankfully I found some at a very reasonable price and ordered 3 bottles. But after they arrived I thought hmm… better get a few more just to be safe.

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But damn it! The price gouging had already begun.

I paid $45 for 1.7 Oz …. now it’s $249 for half an ounce.

And a few days later?

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Holy Hell!

I love it…. but not that much.

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Gobble, gobble.

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Far be it for me to hawk a product from Amazon, I’m sure Jeff Bezos is doing just fine without my help. But I ordered this little jewel the other day….

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And was amazed at well it worked.

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Yes, it’s just a stupid plastic thing with a serrated end.

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But that sucker slides right down my bathroom sinks and shower drains and brings up all manner of nasty clogs. (I’ll spare you photographic evidence of my claim, suffice it to say I have a head of thick curly hair that doesn’t always stay on my head.)

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Save yourself a visit from the plumber (and his crack) . Buy a Green Gobbler today!

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