Tag Archives: amazon

Weird things Amazon thinks I should buy.

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I always get a kick out of these computer generated suggestions and wonder what the hell I’ve done to deserve them.

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Do I need to push a snail shell when I want soap?

I do not.

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Why are they still making these things? And does anyone still buy them…

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Again with the pickles.

🥴

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Okay, those could actually come in handy.

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Clearly their idea of magic mushrooms and mine differ considerably.

🤣

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How much easier do we need it?

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I saw an Amazon list the other day of helpful products that are supposed to make our life easier, and after looking at them I had to wonder….

Are we really lazy enough to need them?

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Call me crazy, but I don’t consider closing the toothpaste a hardship.

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Sorry, stepping on an empty can has always satisfied me.

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Chicken shredder… or medieval torture device?

Tough call.

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Okay, they’ve got me here. It’s both useful and adorable.

But I can’t figure why this last one will make anyone’s life easier…

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Even if it is the spitting image of Lord Dudley Mountcatten…

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I wonder if he should ask for residuals.

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Calendar shopping is not what it used to be.

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With the closure of so many brick and mortar stores, I admit I do a lot more Amazon shopping than I used to. And as much as I dislike the idea of lining the already full to bursting pockets of Jeff Bezos, it’s hard to argue with the ease and convenience he provides.

Will I get in the car and drive an hour to the mall, fight the last minute Christmas shopping crowds and drive an hour back through mad traffic just to purchase my yearly calendar?

I will not.

I’ll just sit on the couch, cruise Amazon, push a button and have it in my mailbox in two days.

Of course, calendar shopping isn’t what it used to be.

As proof, I offer these three selections that popped up during my search.

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Uh… no thanks.

I see enough of that in person.

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That’s a definite hard pass. I don’t need twelve months of rhinoceros urination.

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Price drop?

I can’t imagine why those aren’t flying off the shelf.

So I ask again, who buys these things and why are they so preoccupied with poop?

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Random bits.

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I’ve always loved bugs and insects, the bigger and weirder the better. My father used to swear he found a new variety in the garden every year and I believe it’s true. Their diversity is amazing.

That being said, you know I was thrilled when I found this little beauty in my flower bed the other day.

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Now that’s a spider!

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Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this product’s Amazon pricing?

🥴

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I think we’re down to four woodchucks now.

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I haven’t seen six together for quite a while so I’m guessing momma finally booted some of their big butts out of the burrow.

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Damn.

I wish they’d had these when I was young and in love with dinosaurs.

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Let’s play.

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You’re here.

You might as well…

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That’s an easy one for me.

Books!

I’m an avid reader and start to twitch if my pile of unread material drops below a dozen.

I order so many books from Amazon I may be personally responsible for Jeff Bezos’s new yacht.

Our little local library can’t keep up with me and trying to buy books at thrift stores has me walking down the aisles shaking my head, ticking off titles and mumbling read it, read it, read it…..

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Unlimited books?

That’s heaven on earth to me.

How about you…

What lifetime supply would you want?

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I’m more voracious than I thought.

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Before joining Goodreads I never gave much thought to how much I read. I knew it was a lot, books are stuffed in every nook and cranny of our house and my Amazon deliveries are epic. But I don’t keep all the books I’ve finished… I couldn’t, they would literally bury me… so I never did a yearly count until now.

Goodreads has a annual challenge where you set a goal and check off as you go.

My prediction of the number of books I’d read this year was slightly off.

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I thought 75 seemed like a good number… but clearly it was a little low.

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It’s early May and it looks like I’m 50 books ahead of schedule.

Oops.

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News you can’t use.

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Because it’s generally more fun than news you can.

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The future of porn is most definitely not in my living room, but this is a judge free zone. What you do with your holodeck is your own business.

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Bad pig… bad.

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For some reason my Facebook feed thought I needed this. At over $10 an inch? I think I’ll pass.

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I’m guessing the people who install the porn holodeck are the target audience here.

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It’s this kind of quality content that makes you glad you read my blog, no?

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You scratch my back, I scratch the furniture.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten is an exemplary feline with very few destructive habits. When he first agreed to cohabitate with us and let the husband and I be his slaves… he did however choose one chair to sharpen the royal claws. Not wanting to have shredded upholstery, his minions shopped for an alternative.

But when… after 4 replacement items were tried and rejected … an acceptable substitute scratching post was purchased? He transferred activity there and has been happily loyal to his sisal ever since.

As you can see, His Lordship gives it a workout. Which is why he has to have one with a weighted base so it doesn’t tip over and scare him back to the chair.

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His servant has repeatedly glued, tied, cut and attempted to fix the damaged areas but came to the conclusion a new post must be purchased.

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Problem is, the favorite can no longer be found.

Oh! The horror!

After repeated shopping trips to every pet store in the area, Amazon was checked. And May I say… the selection was impressive. Had His Lordship wanted a palm tree …

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An orange…

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Or even a cactus it would have been no problem.

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Though I can’t say that cat looked too thrilled.

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A cherry? Sure…

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A giraffe that could swallow Lord Dudley whole?

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It could be his for a mere $265.

Hell, there was even a carrot.

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But what there wasn’t …. was the only plain, square, weighted base scratching post he wants.

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The search continues.

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Not no. But Hell no…

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Have you seen the advertisement for Amazon’s latest toy?

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I don’t know about you, but if my home has gone unmonitored until now, I say leave well enough alone.

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Do I need a robot following me from room to room?

Of course not. That’s what cats are for.

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Is it me.. or does the blink make this robot look like a demented duck with an open beak ?

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A periscope? That might come in handy if my husband is trying to sneak another piece of crap into the house… but still, no.

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Nope.

Lord Dudley Mountcatten would not enjoy that at all.

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Because sometimes you do get what you paid for… and then some.

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Years ago I had a wonderful little purse size green bottle of perfume with a funky top. It was a lightly herbal, somewhat floral refreshing scent. Naturally I couldn’t remember the name of it, but I knew it wasn’t expensive so I went shopping on Amazon just on the off chance I’d see it.

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Green, funky top, inexpensive…needing a new small bottle for my purse, I thought that could be it and ordered one.

I was wrong.

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So very wrong. The stupid thing towers above every other bottle I own and is most definitely not purse sized.

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Here it is next to a bottle of Chanel for scale. I’m sure it’s my fault for not noting the size when I bought it, but damn. Now I’m stuck with what seems like a gallon.

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