And then there was beer…. Part 1.

 

We love craft beer, and we love discovering quirky new breweries. It’s a rapidly growing industry in Maine and we tend to take full advantage.

 

DkqDSNSU8AEe5i6

 

First stop on Sunday was Odd Alewives in Waldoboro.

An alewife is a fish.

 

alewife_photo

 

And thankfully, there weren’t any in the beer.

This was a brand new, small batch brewery run out of a renovated 1850’s barn on a young couple’s farm.

 

IMG_9037

 

It was literally on their front lawn.

 

IMG_9038

 

And absolutely not motorcycle friendly.  A steep gravel  (not good!)  driveway and a sloping parking lot is not what 2 wheels and 850lbs wants to find.

 

IMG_9039 (2)

 

But the brewery was wonderful, with a lovely laid back vibe.

 

IMG_9049

 

And the tasting room/bar was fun.

 

IMG_9046

 

Of course my purist husband looked like this….

 

 

When he saw they had painted the old barn board floors….

 

IMG_9048

 

But after a few samplings, he got over it.

 

IMG_9040

 

We did flights and tried all they had on tap before choosing.

 

IMG_9045

 

The Buzz and Blue were delightfully light and refreshing, while the Spell was deep and full bodied.

 

IMG_9047

 

There was live folk music, and it really felt like you were just hanging at a friend’s house knocking back a few. I wanted to take my beer and walk around the farm gardens…. but I was out voted and we moved on to brewery #2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

All work and no play….

 

Yeah, to hell with that.

Sunday found us blowing off some steam on 2 wheels.

 

IMG_9027

 

We headed up the coast with some friends for a little scenery…

(And a lot of craft beer.)

First stop was East Boothbay and one of the best coastal roads around. There were a few too many tourists to make a great video… but you get the idea.

 

 

It really is a beautiful spot.

 

IMG_9016

 

(Did I mention there was beer?)

Our friends are new Maine residents, so they really enjoyed the tour.

 

IMG_9022

 

(And the beer)

Boothbay is oceanfront living at it’s best.

 

IMG_9035

 

And it was perfect weather for riding.

(Not to mention beer)

 

IMG_9036

 

Next up?

Beer.

 

Because garages need facelifts too.

 

Work continues on the garage, and the paper walls are still a nightmare.

 

IMG_8950

 

Seriously, wth?

 

IMG_8952

 

The fact that it all has to be replaced with plywood means more time and money and work…

 

IMG_8981

 

And my instruction  to the husband to stop napping on the job was not well received.

Go figure.

 

IMG_8565

 

We turned the corner and I had to say goodbye to my beautiful daisies.

 

IMG_8971

 

Yeah, that was depressing.

But not as bad as the husband refusing to heed my advice to clean out the wood shed before he removed the panels…

 

IMG_8963 (2)

 

And having cement blocks fall on his toes.

I tried not to snicker.

Really, I did.

 

 

So, the woodshed was left pretty much like this.

 

IMG_8973

 

And progress was made elsewhere.

 

IMG_E8984

 

The siding doesn’t exactly match the house, but in this light, it’s pretty close.

 

IMG_E8986.JPG

 

And we’re getting there.

One wall at a time.

Dear unknown artist….

 

I live in Maine.

And I’m a Red Sox fan.

(Note to out of staters – this is non negotiable. Yankee fans will be shot on sight.)

But this?

Towering over me as I ate dinner the other night?

Not cool.

 

 

I’m guessing subtlety isn’t your strong suit….

But let me leave you with just one word:

Proportion.

Yours truly,

The unfortunate diner who sat in the shadow of these Sasquatch sized mammary glands for far too long.

You can’t make this stuff up…..

 

Yes, this is really happening.

 

 

Animal rights organization PETA said Wednesday it had asked the Maine Department of Transportation (DOT) for permission to build a “roadside memorial” along Route 1 near the site of an Aug. 22 crash in Brunswick involving a truck carrying live lobster.

On Aug. 22, a Cozy Harbor Seafood Inc. truck transporting an estimated 7,000 lobsters packaged in 60-70 crates rolled over along Route 1 in Brunswick, sending many of the live crustaceans into the road and ditch. Police said hydroplaning likely caused the crash.

(Click the link to view the carnage)

All lobsters were removed from the scene and many were deemed no longer sellable.

“Countless sensitive crustaceans experienced an agonizing death when this truck rolled over and their bodies came crashing down onto the highway,” said PETA Executive VP Tracy Reiman. “PETA hopes to pay tribute to these individuals who didn’t want to die with a memorial urging people to help prevent future lobster suffering.”

 

lobster-peta.001_1535577676895.png
Ummm….
Does PETA realize where those lobsters were headed?
News flash –
It wasn’t Club Med.
The five foot tall tombstone memorial proposal was shot down and denied by the Maine DOT this afternoon.
You can’t make this stuff up.
Image result for make love not stew lobster

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

 

I love my state, I really do.

Maine has beautiful scenery, clean air, quaint villages, a huge craft beer industry and lobster I can’t eat….

 

54ee784c50a74

 

But we also have a thirst for knowledge.

And classes for almost everything… as proved by the local continuing education brochure I received last week.

 

Untitled

 

(There’s an ass on the cover named Jack Cass, you know it’s going to be good.)

Alongside the normal foreign language and computer courses there are some Maine-centric things like boat captaining and crossbow hunting, but I’m going to focus on the odd. The funny. And the downright bizarre.

 There are too many seriously wackadoodle choices for one blog, so it’s going to be a weekly series until I run out of ridiculousness. Let’s begin.

Class #1 :

Quantum Spoonbending.

Yes, you read that correctly. The description is as follows…

“What is the value of this spoon bending class? If, with very little training, you can easily bend a spoon that you could not easily bend before (if at all), then you can begin to see how powerful you actually are! Learn to access the subtle energy field that surrounds us all. The metal softening mechanisms you will learn in this class are actually quantum mechanics techniques you can transfer to enhance your daily life. This is the same energy field ancient and new age healers are accessing to perform healings and miracles. You will learn and practice several different techniques that will not only allow you to bend spoons, but allow you to experience inducing other changes in material reality. Learn how healers have been able to mend broken bones instantaneously and see how it might be possible for you to perform miracles in your own life. There is a $10 materials fee payable to the instructor at the start of class. No discounts.”

Let’s break this down –

1) Do I need a spoon to realize how powerful I really am?

Doubtful.

 

 

2) Transferable techniques to enhance my daily life.

Really?

 

1qj6t6

 

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

3)  If it’s the same process people are using to perform healing and miracles… why would I be happy just bending a damned spoon?

 

 

4)  A $10 material fee with no discounts.

   But… but…

What if I bring my own spoon?

 

large

 

Classes start  Nov. 7th  6-8:30

Duration 3 weeks.

High tech hair?

 

So I’m an 80’s girl.

I grew up with MTV,  parachute pants and yes…

Big hair.

 

 

Okay, not that big.

But it’s fair to say I went through a considerable amount of hair spray in that decade and did my part to widen the hole in the ozone layer.

Fashions may have changed….

 

34376427041c5cd224ce393d6beb3d3d.jpg

 

But my  naturally curly hair still requires a  vat of industrial adhesive and a trowel  bit of work.

I’m always on the look out for new products and stumbled across this the other day:

 

IMG_8815

 

Helmet Head sounded about right, so I bought it.

But what did Cationic Hydration Interlink mean?

Definition of cationic. 1 : of or relating to cations. 2 : characterized by an active and especially surface-active cation. a cationic dye.

Thanks for nothing Webster.

Wikipedia?

Cationic polymerization is a type of chain growth polymerization in which a cationic initiator transfers charge to a monomer which then becomes reactive. This reactive monomer goes on to react similarly with other monomers to form a polymer.

 

 

Beyond confused, I went to the source.

 

 

g1351798677223035265

 

Proof positive that even the company who produces it has no clue what the heck it is.

Well, you can string a bunch of science terms together and stamp sucker on my forehead, but that’s okay.

 

 

It’s the price we girls pay for looking good.

 

 

I’ll huff and I’ll puff…..

 

And I’ll blow your paper garage down.

(Alternate title – You have got to be sh*tting me.)

 After years of  relentless nagging  gentle persuasion, I finally talked the husband into replacing the old rotted siding on our garage this weekend.

He started removing it out front, which was fine.

(No plumber’s butt shots. You’re welcome.)

 

IMG_8920

 

Then he turned the corner…

 

IMG_8930

 

Started ripping, and found….

 

IMG_8932

 

Paper.  Lots and lots of paper….. but no walls.

Paper walls!

Fuckety, fuck, fuck.

There was literally nothing behind the old siding but paper.

 

IMG_8943

 

Who does that?

“Gee honey, wood is expensive. Grab me that spiral notebook and the trashy romance novel you were reading last week.”

Good grief, even the 2 little pigs used sticks and straw.

Needless to say, the husband was not amused at all the extra work this was going to entail.

 

IMG_8949

 

I tried to make light of it and told him we could have an awesome transom window, but  he had a hammer in his hand and a strange look in his eye  that didn’t go over well either.

To be continued….

(Face it, this project is going to take a month of Sundays and if I have to live through it? So do you. That’s the beauty of blogging! But if it makes you feel any better, I had a large splinter in my butt from rubbing against a piece of rough cut wood yesterday so …. I still get the worst of it.)

Now they’re just screwing with me.

 

I live in Maine, land of the lobster I can no longer eat.

 

lobster-in-a-pot-costume-whole-cry

 

It’s a cruel twist of fate which came about 7 years ago. I’d eaten that glorious, butter dripping crustacean all my life and loved every scrumptious bite…. until my traitorous body woke up one day and said no more.

No more lobster chowder, no more lobster rolls, no more lobster pie…. hell they hadn’t even invented lobster mac and cheese yet so I missed that too, damn it!  (I’ll spare you the details of what happens if I eat it now, just think Linda Blair in the Exorcist and leave it at that.)

It’s not easy being lobster allergic in Maine, the damned things are everywhere.

On our license plates…

 

lobsterplt

 

At every biker rally we attend…

 

a 068

 

See?

 

a 069

 

That’s me… cursing everyone for eating  lobster when I can’t …. not sitting at the table.

Hell, we even have a festival devoted to the creature.

 

maine-lobster-festival

 

They crown a queen who leads the parade with King Neptune.

 

2012 Coronation109

 

Everyone eats lobster.

Except me.

 

Shediac-Lobster-Fest-le-hoi-canada

 

(I can’t attend anymore. The husband says drool isn’t my best feature)

Yes, we take our lobster seriously up here and I’ve  railed against fate, banged my head against the wall, invented new swear words   learned to live without it.

So why?

Why does that damned bottom dwelling bug continue to screw with me?

Yesterday… this showed up in our local grocery stores.

 

IMG_8912

 

And if that’s not bad enough…

A friend sent me this card.

 

IMG_8871

 

Now that’s just…  wrong.