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You know the drill, crazy excerpts from a book about sex, read at your own risk.

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I can honestly say I’ve never owned a vibrator, but if they can drive me to the grocery store and keep the conversation sparkling? I might have to reconsider.

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Reading this list has left me almost speechless. I say almost because I’m dying to know why the plantain needed a condom.

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I am now seriously rethinking the amount of time my husband spends on the throne.

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I enjoy the feeling of a clean and minty mouth…. but not that much.

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While at first glance this doesn’t seem like a bad thing, I can see how it might keep you distracted at work.. or little Susie’s ballet recital.

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Required sex warning – the following contains explicit excerpts from one seriously wacky book. Continue at the risk of disturbing mental images.

As you already know, the male member, its malfunctions and various cures feature heavily in this series.

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Because sometimes you feel like pumping, and sometimes you don’t.

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I’m not a man and therefor have no physical frame of reference… but is perpetual half mast really where men want to be?

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The Smithsonian has a penis bone collection? Why doesn’t this surprise me..

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It seems Thai women are not to be screwed with. Or Thai ducks either for that matter..

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The little man in the boat? I can’t even….

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It makes you wonder just how much suction one man could need. And remember, I did warn you about mental images.

🤣

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