Tag Archives: excerpts

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My Planet.. the end.

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A few more chuckles from Mary Roach before I put this book to bed.

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My husband does not moisturize, though at times I wish he would.

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As you know I have a spouse who enjoys filling our kitchen with overpriced gadgets…. so I totally get this. Though thankfully no $345 pentolas have crossed our doorstep.

Yet.

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Touchless trash cans with sensor eyes? Please don’t tell my husband.

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Preach sister! My spouse never ever uses coins but has them stashed everywhere. In the den closet, in every vehicle cubbyhole, and yes in jars on the bedroom floor.

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Though he prefers pickle to sauerkraut.

🥴

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My Planet… part three.

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More relatable Mary Roach humor.

While I can’t get on board with the jewelry part, I’ve had more than a few cocker spaniel days.

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Oh, who are we kidding? I’ve had cocker spaniel months.

This next page deals with searching for a new home and open houses.

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I used to love to tour open houses, just because. Not that I ever bought any, it’s just a fun way to spend the day.

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So you know I had to…

Some dogs looked happy.

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Some dogs did not.

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Cats? Apparent they rate toast collars.

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But hands down? The winner goes to three olive martini beagle.

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It will serve his owner right to get poked in the eye with that toothpick.

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Bonk… part 7.

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You know the drill, crazy excerpts from a book about sex, read at your own risk.

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I can honestly say I’ve never owned a vibrator, but if they can drive me to the grocery store and keep the conversation sparkling? I might have to reconsider.

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Reading this list has left me almost speechless. I say almost because I’m dying to know why the plantain needed a condom.

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I am now seriously rethinking the amount of time my husband spends on the throne.

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I enjoy the feeling of a clean and minty mouth…. but not that much.

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While at first glance this doesn’t seem like a bad thing, I can see how it might keep you distracted at work.. or little Susie’s ballet recital.

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Bonk… part 6.

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Same book about sex, same warning applies. Tender hearted readers take note.. it’s about to get weird.

First up in today’s excerpts are tales from the factory floor.

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Being a porn star isn’t limited to (and I use this term loosely) acting in films. Apparently you can make money recreating and selling your penetrable parts. Who knew?

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Wise choice Maria. No need to make daddy feel inferior.

Leaving the body part factory, we get a history lesson in contraceptives.

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I suppose a cat liver ankle might dissuade the foot fetish suitors.

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I don’t know about you, but I’ve met many a woman with a furious womb.

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Is it any wonder the womb is furious? Geesh. No one wants to be compared to a badger.

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Bonk… part 5.

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Required sex warning – the following contains explicit excerpts from one seriously wacky book. Continue at the risk of disturbing mental images.

As you already know, the male member, its malfunctions and various cures feature heavily in this series.

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Because sometimes you feel like pumping, and sometimes you don’t.

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I’m not a man and therefor have no physical frame of reference… but is perpetual half mast really where men want to be?

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The Smithsonian has a penis bone collection? Why doesn’t this surprise me..

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It seems Thai women are not to be screwed with. Or Thai ducks either for that matter..

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The little man in the boat? I can’t even….

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It makes you wonder just how much suction one man could need. And remember, I did warn you about mental images.

🤣

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Bonk… part 4.

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You know the drill. The following excerpts are from a Mary Roach book about sex. You have been warned…

While Viagra is a relatively new treatment, cures for male impotence have been around for a long time. Two testicles not getting the job done? No problem, just get yourself a third.

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Yes, they really did have an add a testicle procedure, though it was not without its issues.

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Ponder that for a moment.

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Feel free to whip up that cocktail at your next dinner party. Gin, orange juice, grenadine and absinthe. Not sure what that recipe has to do with the family jewels, but I’m sure it will be a hit all the same.

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If that’s not trivia to impress your friends, I don’t know what is.

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Sodomization does seem a trifle extreme for pilfering a tomato, but clearly the Romans took their gardens more seriously than I do.

( If you want a good giggle? Do a Google image search on Priapus. That is one massive cucumber. 😳 )

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Bonk … part 3.

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You know the drill. This book is about sex… proceed at your own peril.

The first fun fact will thrill men and relieve their locker room anxiety in no time flat.

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This next item will come as no surprise to women.

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Seriously, we never doubted this.

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Now there’s a recipe I never thought I’d share.

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I didn’t feel the need to watch Iron crotch, but if you’re so inclined? Please write a review.

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Nose erections. Tell me how glad you are to be my blog follower now.

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I hear volunteering for public service is good for the soul. Perhaps I should include a sign up sheet…?

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Bonk… part 2.

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The warning still stands. Graphic ( but funny ) sexual content to follow.

Read at your own risk!

Remember the days when you agonized over your Halloween costume? Dressing up and getting it just right was important.

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I don’t know about you, but a Grim Reaper penis is not likely to heighten anything for me except anxiety.

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Yes, there’s an entire section of this book devoted to Napoleon’s great grand niece and her crazy theories on female orgasms. I’ll spare you the details.

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I admit to shuddering slightly after reading this footnote. Rock salt and shredded newspaper? I have never in my life been so glad I don’t live in Indonesia.

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Sorry Betty. but I shall be referring to it as the Whipple Tickle from now on.

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Bonk. A preview….

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The next book in my marvelously bizarre Mary Roach series is Bonk.

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And I should warn you, things are going to get extremely strange. If you’re the least bit squeamish about the subject of human sexuality I suggest you skip these posts because nothing is off limits.

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I loved Stiff in all its macabre glory… and when the topic is sex, you know Mary is going to bring it. Here’s a sneak peak at some of the chapter titles.

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Scientific research features heavily throughout the book.

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Of course they did.

If you’re up (so to speak) for a fascinating in depth look at sex, I promise you’ll learn some interesting tidbits, trivia, titillating trifles, facts about men, women and the lengths (so to speak) they’ll go to in the pursuit of pleasure.

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No doubt!

🤣

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