Tag Archives: broken bones

Things I don’t like today… chapter 2.

 

I don’t like…

 

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Going out to the barn for something and finding the husband has bought another…. yeah, whatever the hell that is.

It’s a good thing he has a fold up cot in there. He might be needing it.

 

I don’t like….

Going  out to the barn for something, and not being able to find it because the husband has too much  rusty old useless crap  treasure stacked in there. And I really don’t like having some of that crap fall on my still sore, recently broken, now permanently out of whack toe.

 

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Yeah.

Another month of not wearing a shoe. Good times…

 

I don’t like…

Getting out of my car after driving to the store and finding I’d committed Monarchacide.

 

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Poor little beauty.

I didn’t see you…. honestly.

 

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And finally,

I don’t like….

 

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Unicorn onesies for adults.

Come on….

 

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I say, that’s who.

I will not have a good time cleaning and organizing my house in a unicorn onesie.

Good God, what’s wrong with people?

That’s what tequila is for.

 

 

 

 

One of these things is not like the others….

 

I wish someone had told me kissing was a full contact sport.

I would have worn appropriate protection.

 

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You’d think after many happy years of marriage the husband and I would have perfected the technique, but alas…. accidents happen.

 

 

And this kiss was rather like a train wreck.

Yesterday when the other half came home from work, I went into the kitchen to give him a smooch.

I moved in, he moved in… and bam!

 

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He broke my toe.

 

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Talk about seeing stars.

And not in a good way…

 

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Sadly, my feet are my worst feature and I have troubles. The troubles of a woman 30 years older than she actually is.

Bunions? Check.

The beginning of hammer toes? Check.¬† (Thanks mom, it’s hereditary)

And I’m always barefoot in the summer so this isn’t my first rodeo with broken toes.

It is however, my first broken toe due to kissing.

Which makes me wonder if I need to wear this next time we get frisky in the bedroom…

 

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(Minus the cigar of course.)

Either that…

Or I need to learn  Taekwon-toe.

 

 

I know…

But I couldn’t resist!