Tag Archives: unicorns

I love my town… Part 3.

 

 

 

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For once, our small town’s Facebook page rose above the petty gossip and backstabbing and actually came in handy. Last night, along with the usual lost pig notices… there was a report of a dump truck flipping over, taking out a power line and closing the main road. This was helpful since my husband’s car had overheated and left him stranded on I-295. Knowing about the closure in advance saved me taking the out of the way detour.

Of course the page also had some other gems.

 

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Rent a goat! There’s a start up sure to make a fortune.

Heck, they love to eat…

 

 

Are easy to transport….

 

 

And give great back massages.

 

 

How could you lose?

Then there was this:

 

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Someone wants to cook pie for me?

That can’t be bad.

 

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And finally, there was this heartfelt thank you note…

 

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Moral of that story?

If you live in the country, always carry carrots and apples.

 

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Okay, well….

There’s no correct amount of produce for that.

 

Things I don’t like today… chapter 2.

 

I don’t like…

 

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Going out to the barn for something and finding the husband has bought another…. yeah, whatever the hell that is.

It’s a good thing he has a fold up cot in there. He might be needing it.

 

I don’t like….

Going  out to the barn for something, and not being able to find it because the husband has too much  rusty old useless crap  treasure stacked in there. And I really don’t like having some of that crap fall on my still sore, recently broken, now permanently out of whack toe.

 

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Yeah.

Another month of not wearing a shoe. Good times…

 

I don’t like…

Getting out of my car after driving to the store and finding I’d committed Monarchacide.

 

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Poor little beauty.

I didn’t see you…. honestly.

 

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And finally,

I don’t like….

 

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Unicorn onesies for adults.

Come on….

 

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I say, that’s who.

I will not have a good time cleaning and organizing my house in a unicorn onesie.

Good God, what’s wrong with people?

That’s what tequila is for.

 

 

 

 

An honest politician!

 

I received a flier in the mail the other day for a man running for the State House of Representatives.

And while I usually throw those things away, this one grabbed my attention for it’s absolute and utter honesty.

Finally! I thought….

Someone is taking responsibility for their actions.

 

 

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It explained so much!

The total lack of unicorns visiting our backyard…

 

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The fact that people still watch reality tv….

 

 

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Oh, alright.

It was really just a statement about his opponent’s outrageous claims against him and his political record.

But for a minute there..

It was nice to dream about an honest politician, right?

 

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