Tag Archives: heat

Because I’m always looking out for my male friends.

 

So a certain blogger (who shall remain nameless unless he/she actually wants to take credit for this post) sent me a link to a product that I found the day after Thanksgiving.

Having just enjoyed copious amounts of turkey, I admit it made me think twice about ever eating one again.  It seems we never really know what those birds are up to pre gluttonous feast.

This post will pass along further information for what I think is probably the best Christmas stocking stuffer ever.

For your husband, your brother, your uncle, your cousin…. Hell, for every man in your life.

Give them to your mailman and the guy who changes your oil.

You can thank me later.

Snowballs

If you clicked the link, you’ll realize I wasn’t talking about those delightfully revolting pink Hostess treats that look like Tribbles.

It’s another thing entirely.

 

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No, I’m not kidding…

And some of the descriptions are funnier than the product itself.

“Summer is a decidedly, uh, swampy time for many men and the summer of 2019 has been especially hot and humid throughout most of the northern hemisphere. Dress loose and in light fabrics all you want, eventually the heat hits you in the crotch.

It’s a uniquely male problem and one underwear company has the solution to that and more. Snowballs basically wants to ice your ‘nads back into the comfort—and fertility—zone.

Being able to walk around with your ‘nads air-conditioned without risking indecent exposure is pretty appealing. And Snowballs claims their product can do more than just frost the funk away from your nether regions.”

 

Swampy?

 

 

 

Yeah, no one wants that.

 

“From setting sprays to chafing balm, ladies have a few tricks up their sleeves when it comes to handling the heatwave.

But now men have found something to help them out on scorching hot days — freezable pants.

Over on Amazon, a brand called Snowballs Underwear is selling “scientifically-backed cooling underwear”.

The underwear comes with ice packs — dubbed “SnowWedges” — that men are able to put in the freezer before popping into a pouch that sits over the groin.”

 

And before you decide the whole thing is just a joke, here’s a video to prove icing your  balls, sack, nuts, jewels, sweetbreads, Christ…what term won’t get me kicked off WordPress?   parts has actual medical benefits.

 

 

 

 

 

There.

Now don’t you feel better knowing these exist?

 

 

 

 

 

Just remember…

You saw it here first.

 

 

I admit, it made me look.

 

I walked by my window the other day and had to do a double take.

Across the road on our neighbor’s organic vegetable farm, the seasonal workers were weeding a garden patch. Most summers there are Mexican field hands, but because of the new immigration policies of He Who Will Remain Nameless… this year the workers are Jamaican.

 

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Now, I’ve never been to Jamaica.

 

 

But I’m going to go out on a limb here…

 

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And say this isn’t their new fashion trend.

 

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Yes, that is what you think it is.

 

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Cardboard.

 

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With a hole in the middle for your head.

 

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I particularly like the fact that he flipped up the cut out hole section.. and left it there. Like a pot lid.

 

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Jamaican cardboard hats.

Coming to a mall near you?

 

 

Remember… you saw it here first.

Calling all hot flashing menopausal women….

 

(And partners of these women, male or otherwise…. if they want to earn some brownie points.)

Are hot flashes making you feel like you live on the surface of the sun?

 

 

Forget black cohosh.

 

 

 

Forget soy.

 

I tried both, and they didn’t touch my heat.

 

 

But this?

This works.

 

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A personal, portable tiny air conditioner.

 

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Soak the filter in cold water, then put it in the freezer.

 

 

Fill the reservoir with cold water…

 

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Position it on your desk, coffee table, bedside table… point the lever straight at your face –

And let her rip.

 

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I found mine at Home Depot for $39.99 and I’m happy.

 

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Not as happy as I would be stepping into a sub zero walk in freezer…

But who has room for one of those in the living room?

 

Head for the coast…

 

When it’s hot in Maine? You head for the coast where the sea breeze cools the temperatures considerably.

So that’s what we did on the July 4th weekend.

We battled the tourist traffic on Route 1 and headed north with a cool and calm demeanor.

 

 

Seriously….. there’s a reason we call you people Massholes. You’re not going to find a barista on every corner in this state, please go back to Boston.

Boothbay Harbor was packed, so we kept going.

 

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Through downtown Rockland where they clearly wanted us to eat something. Hopefully not the building itself.

 

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And through downtown Camden where the cows are always smiling.

 

 

Camden is a gorgeous harbor town with lovely old homes lining both sides of the main street.

 

 

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This one always catches my eye…

 

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Not your typical New Englander to be sure.

 

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We wanted to stop for a drink and a bite in Lincolnville….

 

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But sadly the Whale’s Tooth Pub didn’t open till 4:00pm.

 

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So we ended up in Belfast, down by the harbor.

 

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Which is always a good choice.

To be continued…

 

 

A lazy, hazy 4th.

 

It’s hot in Maine. Really hot. Surface of the sun hot.

Too hot to drink hot.

Okay… I got carried away there, it’s never too hot to drink. But we’ve been in the low 90’s with high humidity for days and that’s simply too hot for me. I don’t like hot and come from a long line of women who detest sweating.

 

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(Actual portrait of my ancestress)

So on the 4th? We headed to our friend’s camp at the lake for the day.

There were cute young people in hats…

 

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And boating…

 

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And swimming…

 

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And frozen raspberry margarita consumption for those who were doing neither.

 

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There was food, fun and friends.

There was some of this…

 

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And a lot of this…

 

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And even a few fireworks on the opposite shore.

 

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Not a bad way to spend the day.

Or night.

Hope your holiday was equally satisfying.