Tag Archives: gravity

One mad mother chucker.

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I’m not sure why…

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But momma woodchuck always looks pissed off.

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Is it because her children are always under foot?

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Or because the pesky human woman keeps spraying all the tasty munchies with coyote urine?

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Maybe it’s because her tatas are hanging so low they scrape the rock wall.

Tough call… but I’m going with gravity. That’s bound to make any woman cranky.

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Gravity, thou art a fickle bitch.

 

For women, it’s an inescapable fact.

We age… and things start to head south.

 

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One day you wake up and the girls aren’t as perky as they used to be.

And before you know it?

You’re searching the jeans section for the ones that include butt lifters.

Spanx……

Minimizers….

 

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Over the shoulder boulder holders….

 

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The entire foundation undergarment industry is built on defying female gravity.

And because I’m over 40? (Okay, way over… now shut up)

I’ve got plenty that’s starting the downward descent…

So when I was cruising Bed Bath and Beyond the other day and saw this?

It really ticked me off.

 

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WTF!

Now I have to start worrying that my earrings are going to sag?

It’s enough to make me turn in my woman card.

 

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