Tag Archives: humor

News you can’t use.

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You missed this series, admit it.

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I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of, but she certainly looks pleased.

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Nooooo!

Not the cheese.

😫

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I paid $20 for 20 minutes with a few sleeping cats.

Capybaras on my lap and snuggling in my arms?

Sign me up!

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This is the way my town has done trash pickup ever since we’ve lived here. Most places in Maine are the same. $3.50 a tag, one bag per tag.

It makes you more apt to recycle, believe me.

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Is there someone up there who needs to get high…?

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She was at a CBD store, and complained there were no decimal points on the machine. Perhaps she’d sampled too much product?

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I don’t know about scientifically…

But from a lay person’s perspective?

I’m going with it’s happy.

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Because you can never have too many maps.

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I call foul on this first one.

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Maine has exactly one Trader Joes.

One.

Yes, it’s in our biggest city, but still.

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No in Maine. Which is fine with me.

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Maine to Man is not very amusing.

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It’s true.

Mainers do hate Massholes.

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Since we only buy craft beer, and never by the case I’m unable to comment.

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Please note I live in the county above the red in Maine and am not personally responsible for its high numbers.

Mark… can you say the same?

😉

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Let’s play.

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Because it won’t take much of your time.

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As a bread lover, this is a tough one for me. I’ve enjoyed cheddar bay biscuits and breadsticks, but the quality isn’t always consistent. CB’s biscuits used to be divine but have shrunken to almost elvish proportions over the years. And while the rustic brown loaves are tasty…

I think I’m going to have to say Texas Roadhouse yeast rolls for the win. They’re always fresh and the accompanying honey butter sends these over the top on my yum-o-meter. Ironically, I don’t care for the cocktails or the food at that restaurant so we rarely if ever go…. but I fondly remember the doughy goodness.

Disclaimer – I’ve never tried A or C.

How about you?

Which chain restaurant bread gets your vote.

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I hate digital health care.

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I fondly remember the days when doctors took the time to call patients with their test results and explain the outcome.

Today? They send you a link to a digital portal and you’re on your own.

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These numbers were accompanied by a warning that I might be seeing them before the doctor… and I should wait for instructions.

Which I did, for 4 days. No word, so I logged back onto the site and found a short note saying my primary physician had sent in a prescription for a potassium supplement.

No explanation, just that.

The next day I got an email telling me to log in for more results.

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I liked this number even less.

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It accompanied these numbers, so clearly something is going on. Not that I’d know what, because no one tells me anything and I’ll probably have to wait another four days to get a second cryptic note on the portal.

🥴

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News you can’t use.

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And we’re back with more useless news.

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What we used to think was human, turned out be AI.

Now what we think is AI is actually humans?

Stop the world, I want to get off.

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Sh*t just got real.

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Why doesn’t this surprise me?

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Ugh.

And I’m heartbroken when I lose an earring.

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I’m going with… yes.

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I can personally attest to this one!

🤣

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This is why I dislike going to the doctors..

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After feeling like utter crap for a week, my husband drug my sorry self to our health care providers office yesterday. Naturally my primary physician was unavailable, but they had one appointment open. With a new doctor who just started there.

Basically, he’d just started anywhere. He was a newbie, probably under 30 years old and freshly graduated from Dartmouth College. He was very nice, very polite and very thorough. With the symptoms he wanted to address.

As I said yesterday I’ve been experiencing a bit of dizziness but my main complaint has been constant stomach discomfort, nausea and crippling fatigue.

Though I told him the most I’d eaten at one time in the last week was half a piece of toast, he zeroed in on the dizziness and gave me a seriously bizarre neurological examination.

He put his hands on my cheeks and told me to press my tongue against them.

He had he me extend one palm upward and flap the other hand back and forth against it as fast as I could.

I told him I’d had bouts of vertigo on and off my entire life, but that wasn’t why I was there.

Didn’t matter, he was off to the races and had me do balance tests, positional transition tests and a bunch of other nonsense that triggered my vertigo and made me feel worse.

Diagnosis?

Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo.

(The simple explanation-

BPPV happens because there’s a problem deep inside your ear where your balance is controlled. Tiny calcium particles in your inner ear get loose and float around where they don’t belong. This causes symptoms. 

The particles shift around when you move your head in certain ways, such as rolling over in bed or bending over to pick something up.)

He seemed pleased, and set me up with referrals to a therapist who apparently has exercises and manipulations to restore the loose rocks in my head.

Great.

And what about my other issues?

As he was shuffling me out the door, I had to beg him to do blood tests to see if any of my vitamin levels were off or I if had anemia because this fatigue is insane. He was completely uninterested in my stomach issues and suggested I might have picked up a virus somewhere. Basically, he poo pooed my weeklong discomfort as unimportant and told me to eat bland foods for two weeks.

So I’m home. Not feeling one bit better and without any more idea of what’s going on than before.

Ugh.

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I lived through the ‘70’s.

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The 70’s were an interesting decade.

It was an era of political upheaval and social unrest. Vietnam and Watergate were serious issues.

Shag carpeting and lava lamps were not.

I was a kid and fondly remember wearing a purple suede fringed vest with purple and grey striped bell bottom jeans. Mini skirts, halter tops, thigh high boots… women’s fashion was bright, bold, colorful and an awful lot of fun.

Men’s?

Not so much.

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Sorry guys.

I still have nightmare about your leisure suits.

😳

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Random nonsense.

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Some things that made me smile this week.

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I have never wanted to visit Florida more in my entire life. This beats my lame Rhode Island cat cafe hands down.

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It absolutely did.

No idea why, we never did that with anything else.

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Every once in a while I have to drag our couches across the floor…

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To rescue the catnip mice who are trapped back there.

My husband found some old paperwork from his Marine Corps days when he emptied his closet a few weeks ago.

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It deals with his shop receiving uncapped fuel controls for the T-58 engine on the CH-46 helicopter. It kept happening and every time it did, the cost of overhauling the engine was 203 times the cost of the cap.

This is government waste.

No DOGE required.

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I saw this FB the other day and had to do the research.

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Yes, it does exist.

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And if it had a little cigarette dangling from its mouth…looks so much like my great aunt Madge it’s frightening.

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