Tag Archives: humor

Where we go to Hunting Island but don’t hunt.

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We’d heard quite a few locals mention Hunting Island lighthouse (which is the only lighthouse in South Carolina open to the public) and since we were in the area, we decided to check it out.

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Paying the unexpected entry fee at the gate, we drove down the twisting, turning road.

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It felt a bit like the forest primeval with dense vegetation and palms lining both sides.

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At the end there was a parking lot and our first glimpse of the lighthouse.

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The views of the Sea Islands were supposed to be great from the top and I was anxious to climb.

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We approached…

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Entered the gated area….

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Took the required wind blown selfie…

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And after climbing the entry steps to the door… read the sign saying it was closed.

Of course it was.

Thank you Mr. Gatekeeper for taking our money but not sharing that fact. Grr. 😡

Was it worth the $20? Sure.

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See there? That used to be the light keeper’s house.

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And my husband found a fascinating rail contraption used to move the lamp oil.

Totally worth it.

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🥴

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If you’ve never been gobsmacked when you walked into a restaurant, then you’ve never been to Johnson Creek Tavern.

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After our horse drawn carriage tour of Beaufort…(did you say Byoo-fert like I taught you?)

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We strolled along the harbor for a spell.

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Then headed over the bridge to explore the Sea Islands.

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Since the husband was hungry we stopped for a late lunch. Not much was open this time of year but we found a spot on the marsh called Johnson Creek Tavern.

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It was an unassuming little place, and while I don’t know exactly what I was expecting…

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It definitely wasn’t this.

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Every square inch of the place was covered in money.

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Yes, as in real U.S. currency. Ones, fives and tens. Most had names or funny sayings written on the face.

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One bad margarita….

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Some run of the mill hushpuppies with, oh the horror, margarine …

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And a terrible bowl of gumbo later, we decided we wouldn’t be eating lunch here… but we did marvel at the decor and inquire about its origins.

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It started at the bar decades ago as these things do. The first dollar spent, a big tip, a foreign bill brought back from faraway lands. But then it grew…

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And grew and grew.

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Now… they harvest the bounty every so often and donate it all to charity. Last year a veterans group was the happy recipient of over $11,000.

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And that’s money well spent.

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The flamingo agrees.

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The anti Valentine gift for the rest of you…

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For the friends who are soured on love.

For the readers who gag at Hallmark movies.

For the people who want Cupid to shoot himself in the butt with that stupid little arrow.

The perfect loveless Valentines Day gift.

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You’re welcome.

And speaking of litter boxes?

A Valentine from your cat….

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If cat poop isn’t your thing and you’re looking for something a little more direct?

How about this…

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Nothing says I love you like targeted heart penetration.

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Beautiful Beaufort.

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The Angus drawn carriage tour of Beaufort continued…

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Past Spanish moss and charming antebellum homes.

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You might recognize this tree if you’re a movie buff.

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It’s the live oak Robert Duvall sat under during The Great Santini. They filmed it in Beaufort as the author Pat Conroy is a native son.

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Beautiful homes, beautiful gardens…

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And some of the most amazing Angel Oaks I’ve ever seen.

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The Angel is the variety of live oak that droops it’s branches to the ground….

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And in Beaufort?

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The town is so enamored of their spreading glory it’s illegal to cut one down or even trim.

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Thank you Beaufort.

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I wholeheartedly agree.

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Our guided tour was a little over an hour of immersive history and I loved every cold, wrapped in a blanket, minute of it.

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There’s a strict building code near The Point that says new construction must blend with the old. I’m not sure lime green was a popular Civil War era color, but they’re charming all the same.

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I wish we’d had time to explore this museum.

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But when we disembarked the carriage a certain someone had to strike up a conversation with the guide.

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Hint- it wasn’t me.

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Though I did enjoy a little quality time with Angus.

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He was a wonderful chauffeur.

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And deserved his treat.

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This might be more difficult than choosing the furniture.

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I thought finding a set of living room furniture my husband liked was hard, but we did it.

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I thought finding a decent patterned fabric for the chair, ottoman and pillows was hard, but we’ve (tentatively) done that.

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But now?

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The part I thought would be easy is turning out to be anything but.

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We need a solid fabric for the couches and nothing is working.

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Neither of us wants that much blue so we’re leaning towards neutrals.

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There’s not much color in the pattern and it’s been difficult choosing a coordinating shade.

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Too light.

Too dark.

Too turd like.

The new floor will look like this…

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So I have to consider that as well.

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Too light for the white walls.

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Too cool a shade for the floor and warm trim.

The search continues….

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Beaufort… the old fashioned way.

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As we headed down the road for our tour of Beaufort ( say it with me now… Byoo-fert. Byoo as in beautiful, fert as in fertile. Byoo-fert. ) SC, the husband wanted a second breakfast and chose this quaint little place in Port Royal.

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Cozy, and small …

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The Old Schoolhouse didn’t take themselves too seriously.

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I’m not a big breakfast person, but since it looked like this might be lunch as well, I looked forward to some true southern biscuits and gravy. Finding that dish in Maine is a rare occurrence so I was fully prepared to splurge.

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To say I was disappointed with this (yellow… WTH?) measly batch of gravy with very little sausage (not to mention flavor) is an understatement. I was in the south…

Y’all are supposed to do this right!

Unsatisfying breakfast/lunch over, we made it to Beaufort. (Did you say Byoo-fert in your head? Good. Let’s continue. )

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Where we had tickets for a horse drawn carriage tour around the city. That white horse was in training…

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So we had Angus.

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My husband rolled his eyes when I said I wanted to do this, but after a few minutes into the historic tour? He was hooked.

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Our tour centered on The Point. The old section of Beaufort filled with beautiful Civil War era homes.

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And some quirky art.

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At the beginning of the war the savvy residents of Beaufort took part in what is now known as the Great Skedaddle.

In the panic of The Great Skedaddle of 1861—the hasty escape of white residents from Beaufort, South Carolina, six months after the start of the Civil War—anything that could not be buried or carried was abandoned. Enslaved people were left behind along with all the wealth accumulated from nearby cotton plantations: expensive furniture, horses, and clothing. When the Union Army arrived, there was only one white man left in town and he was dead drunk, or so the legend goes.

As history would have it, what drove white Beaufortonians from their homes was ultimately what saved the town they left behind. Unlike burned and battle-scarred Charleston, 50 miles to the north, the Union Army claimed Beaufort without a fight. Setting up operations in the town’s stately mansions rescued them from destruction. To this day, Beaufort has more surviving antebellum architecture than almost anywhere else in the South.

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It’s a lovely area, literally lost in time and lovingly preserved.

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That stone out front? A step for women to board carriages without displaying their ankles. Only shameless hussies flashed those.

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This wall is called pigeon hole brick and is completely original.

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The grand old homes…

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The live oaks, the moss…

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The clomp of Angus’s hooves.

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It was like being transported back 160 years.

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I had to throw him a bone.

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After forcing my husband to endure hours of fabric selection, I offered him a reward for good behavior.

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And we headed northwest from Waterville to Bigelow Brewing in Skowhegan.

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Housed in a barn on the owner’s property ….

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The feel is down home rustic Maine.

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We’d never been here before, but as soon as I saw who was helping keep an eye on things….

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I felt right at home.

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We did an assorted flight…

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And my husband liked the Lying Bastard. Make of that what you will.

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The tasting room has live music on weekend nights…

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And table supports shaped like beer bottles.

The only food on offer is from a brick pizza oven out back.

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And while my crust was burnt, the garlicky chicken broccoli Alfredo pie was quite good.

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Upon leaving we noticed the Xmas decorations were still out.

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But the beer was good enough to bring home, so I’ll forgive them the transgression.

😉

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News you can’t use.

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And if you can use it?

I’d rather not know…

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I heartily disagree with this statement.

Someone has to drive after cocktail hour and it’s not going to be me.

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Take that Jello!

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I think the answer to this question is directly related to how much weed you’ve smoked yourself.

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Because Covid wasn’t annoying enough, let’s reawaken some Cretaceous plague. What could go wrong?

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Scotland has 790 islands.

I think this is a no brainer.

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I’m not a Swiftie, but come on people.

Chill.

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You can’t blame the guy. If anything is going to make me nauseated these days, it’s politics.

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Is it wrong that I’m enjoying his discomfort this much?

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He didn’t believe me when I told him how hard it’s been to find fabric for the furniture he chose so I’m continuing to show him firsthand.

Seeing is believing after all.

In my search I’ve discovered that even though different stores sell the same brand, they’ll often have different fabric available and I’ve made it my mission to check them all.

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Hence our trip to Waterville to a small but 5th generation family run store.

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Their showroom is a two story barn from the 1800’s.

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And while they didn’t have the particular style set we wanted, they can order it…. at what turns out to be $600 less than their larger competitors. Free delivery included. I’m all about supporting small local businesses so this is where we’ll purchase it.

If we can ever decide on a fabric.

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Green is still nonexistent. And even the blues that I didn’t really want are muted. But I pulled and pulled hopeful something would catch my eye.

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This photo perfectly portrays how thrilled my husband was to be on the journey.

🤣

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I’d tentatively narrowed it down to these two with the husband bored out of his mind behind me.

Until…

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He discovered a huge computer loaded with the company’s app.

With it you pick your style…

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And punch in the fabric number for a peek at what it will look upholstered. He had fun with this for quite a while, laughing at how horrible some of the patterns were. But when I gave him the number for the fabric I was considering?

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I stopped laughing because he said the cushion had two eyes staring at him.

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Jesus wept.

Will nothing please this troublesome spouse!

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Botany Bay birds… and yes, a few trees.

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Living in Maine, we see our share of shorebirds. But one we don’t have up here in the north is the pelican.

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I don’t know why they fascinate us, but they do.

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So bear with me while I share our pelican watching at Botany Bay.

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The low country provides ideal habitat and fishing opportunities for these guys and they take full advantage of the bounty.

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Herons as well.

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Though they often show a flagrant disregard for the rules.

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I could honestly have stayed and watched them fish all day.

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But we had reservations for a tour in Beaufort and had to get back on the road.

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Not having nearly enough time to finish exploring, we vowed to return.

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And be careful of snakes.

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Saying goodbye to the glorious oaks…

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We made our way out.

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Down that marvelous canopied road.

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