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This first one is sure to be a favorite on Valentines Day.

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Because nothing says I love you like petrified beef.

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Good God, do these things still even exist?

Please, for the love of all that’s holy… no.

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For when you really want to throw down like Hamlet.

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This.

This is really what’s wrong with America. We’re too damn lazy to sit up.

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Pfft. I call foul.

Everyone knows Alfred Von Wigglebottom wouldn’t be caught dead on anything less than Danish Modern.

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