Tag Archives: shoes

Cape Cod Day 6… Sandwich Glass Museum oddities.

 

Day 6 found us in getting a late start in Sandwich.

 

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At a museum filled with glass.

 

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For 62 years beginning in 1825, Deming Jarvis’s glass factory put this little Massachusetts town on the map.

 

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The history of glass was on display…

 

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And some of it was fascinating.

 

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Parts of the museum are interactive…

 

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And we timed it just right to witness a glass blowing demonstration…

 

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Which I thought I’d videoed, but apparently didn’t.

 

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Either way, the chandelier hanging overhead was impressive. Though I’d hate to have to dust it.

 

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Glass..

 

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Glass.

 

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And more glass.

Well, what did you expect…

 

 

Yes!

 

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Chickens!

 

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Lots…

 

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And lots of glass chickens.

 

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Clearly they knew I was coming.

 

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They were salts…

 

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And paperweights…

 

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Art glass…

 

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And breast pipes.

 

 

Yes.

 

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There was even a bosom shell….

Which I’m sure was very comfortable.

 

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There was also a lily foot shoe..

 

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And the chance to have dinner with a dead man.

Who could pass that up?

 

 

 

 

 

I bet you didn’t know….

 

A woodpecker pecks wood 12,000 times a day.

 

 

But I did, because…

 

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Did you know…

Welsh mercenary bowmen in the medieval period only wore one shoe at a time?

 

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Well, you have to admit, a pair will definitely last longer that way.

 

Did you know…

The liquid inside a young coconut can be used as a substitute for blood plasma in an emergency?

 

 

It’s official.

I shall never bleed out…

 

Did you know…

During his lifetime, Herman Melville’s classic novel of the sea Moby Dick only sold 50 copies?

That’s a frighteningly small number of Dicks….

 

 

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Did you know…

Alfred Hitchcock did not have a belly button?

 

 

It’s true, but you have to admire his work out routine.

 

Did you know…

Apollo 11 only had 12 seconds of fuel left when it landed?

 

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That’s some high tech NASA equipment right there.

 

Did you know…

Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his hat to keep his head cool and changed it every two innings?

Why not…

Anything beats eating it.

 

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Do you need one of these?

 

Stupid products. They’re everywhere…

Even here.

 

 

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I heard you. You think gas filters aren’t stupid?

Well, this one is for your butt.

 

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The bad part of a fart?

Pray tell, what exactly is the good part…

 

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For those of you who were looking for the perfect stocking stuffer for Xmas this year?

 

 

Next… no tie shoelaces.

 

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Because yes, apparently we really are that lazy.

 

 

 

On first glance this looked promising….

 

 

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Until I remembered the best thing about making S’mores on a campfire is that you don’t have to clean up anything.

Can you imagine the mess that contraption would make in your oven? Melted chocolate and gooey marshmallow crystallizing and baking onto the racks?

 

 

 

Finally, I admit this last stupid product has infinite potential.

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Now call me crazy, but a gentle reminder to change the toilet paper is not the first thing that came to mind when I thought of recording a message.

No…

I want more bang for my buck and was thinking more along the lines of the Tidy Bowl Man yelling  “Incoming!”….. or an upper class British accent begging you not to make a second trip to the buffet at Taco Loco.

 

 

As I said, infinite possibilities.

 

Anne Taintor gets me.

 

Yes… she’s a Maine born, Harvard educated artist.

And yes… she addresses domestic stereotypes with humor and advertisements from a bygone era.

But ya know what?

This woman gets me.

 

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See what I mean?

 

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Shoes!

Her annual engagement calendar always has a prominent place on my desk and it never fails to make me smile.

 

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Oh, those perfect 1950’s housewives…. you know the ones –  perfectly coiffed, wearing high heels and pearls to wash dishes? The ones who got a little too excited over that new Hoover the husband bought them for their anniversary?

 

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I like to imagine they were thinking this way.

 

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I know I would have.

 

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And if my hubby gave me a Hoover on our anniversary?

 

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Yes, Anne.

You get me.

What is it about shoes?

 

Hello, My name is River…. and I’m an addict.

There I said it.

I’m an admitted shoe-aholic.

And while it’s entirely possible I started out life like this –

 

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My love of shoes has been a constant through the years. In the past I had racks full of sexy high heeled shoes. Truly… I never met a pump or peep toe mule I didn’t like. But now, in my decrepit early 50’s with evil bunions paining my every step, you’re more likely to find sandals, sneakers and boots clogging my closet.

But that doesn’t mean I still don’t have a slight problem.

 

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So I went shoe shopping last week and bought a few pairs for fall/winter.

 

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But in my defense, I never repeated a color so that should count for something.

Grey, olive, navy, brown, putty, (yes, be quiet…that’s a color) black, and beige.

Okay….

I lied.

 

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I did buy 2 black pairs. But one was leather and one was suede.

And yes, I bought 2 beige pairs… but look. That one has lacy cutouts on the top.

And that blue pair? Well, they’re fleece lined so that’s totally different.

The brown.

Damn. I have no excuse for the brown.

But I’m an addict, remember? Shoes are my crack!

 

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There are those  ( My husband, my friends, my family, my old coworkers… alright basically everyone. You happy?)  who say I have too many shoes.

To which I reply –

 

 

Too many shoes?

Pffftt!  It’s like being too rich or too thin…. just not possible.

And please don’t raise the possibility of me returning any of my recent purchases to the store.

 

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Because it’s not going to happen.

I love me some shoes.

 

 

And clearly the universe agrees…

Because it sent me a sign in the mail today.

 

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Did I mention I also love the word free?