Tag Archives: news

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

29 Comments

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And if you can? Then bully for you…

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What’s that old saying? You never know what you miss till it’s gone….

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WTH Canada? I thought you were our nice neighbors to the north.

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Just… wow. More vomit bags is not suitable compensation. Nope. Uh uh.

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Yes. It’s not because I’m lazy and don’t want to tackle that mountain of laundry. It’s genetic.

👍

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I have a lot of ideas on this topic. Too much screen time, junk television, the quality of our leadership, social media … but turns out it’s just collective intelligence. We don’t need to know everything, we can just ask someone else.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

25 Comments

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I doubt anyone can really use it, but here goes.

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96 children?

Who does he think he is… Elon Musk?

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They say don’t knock it till you’ve tried it… but I’m going to pass on that particular experience.

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I blog more than anyone I know, but even I don’t need that.

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To hell with music, fame and the rest… I just want to know where she got the seeds for that fabulous garden.

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72%? Sure, that’s close enough for surgery. A 28% chance of losing something vitally important seems worth the risk.

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Turns out it does. Men are thrilled and claiming the heatwaves covering half the country have increased the size of their members. For these overly proud men… I have one word.

Thermoregulation.

Winter is going to be such a disappointment.

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I should know better than to click on penis stories.

I really should…

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

26 Comments

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You can’t use it, but hopefully it will get entertaining.

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Oh those crazy Tik Tok-ers and their trends. Turns out lettuce water doesn’t help you sleep, but I bet there are tens of thousands of people drinking it anyway .

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This man worked at Burger King for over two decades without ever taking a sick day. To celebrate his commitment they gave him a coffee cup, a (single) movie ticket and some candy. When he shared the happy news online his daughter set up a Go Fund Me page with a $200 goal … it’s reached $400,000. I really hope he tells them what they can do with their Whopper.

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That’s not a question you hear every day. Further research is required…

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Yes, the ushers in a downtown Denver movie theater had to forcibly remove a man who was watching Barbie completely au natural. Hope he didn’t spill the hot cheese on his nachos.

Ouch.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

31 Comments

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But someone can, and that’s even more disturbing.

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If this is what passes for television these days I’m glad I rarely watch it… but my first thought when reading the headline was the fact that I used to have a gynecologist who always asked me how things were “down there” when I stepped in her office. She misdiagnosed me for 2 years which resulted in me having to undergo a full abdominal hysterectomy. I should have known. If you’re unable to say the words uterus and vagina? You shouldn’t be treating them.

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While colorful … I’m taking a hard pass here and doubt anyone will be upset if I don’t bring this to the next potluck.

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With the price of real estate these days? This is a steal.

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I’m not on Tik Tok and rarely pay attention to their ridiculous trends…. but are their women who are seriously contemplating douching with borax?

WTH?

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

23 Comments

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All the news that’s not fit to print… but you know I will anyway.

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Sorry, if I had to see it… so do you.

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Gee, no. I can’t imagine that happening. You mean a programmed robotic fiancé who agrees with everything you say and finds your belching the National anthem charming isn’t realistic?

Who knew.

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Can you imagine living next to that Pepto Bismol monstrosity? I’d vomit on principle alone.

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Here’s a simple way… don’t buy them.

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For a society that always screams about invasion of privacy we’re pretty willing to hand over all our information.

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Be careful what you say in front of Teddy.

🥴

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

12 Comments

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You know I’ll never run out of stupid headlines. The world can be a stupid place…

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I have to wonder about this. Wouldn’t 30 bottles of bull sperm have been sufficient?

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Kendall, give your nipples a rest. I’m tired of their antics.

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I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say swim.

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I think I’ve been listening to music incorrectly for a long time. Damn.

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Ear boners.

I have officially heard everything now.

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Just… wow.

🤣

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

22 Comments

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And if you can, I’ll try not to judge.

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Woodchucks, a hoarding husband and a ditch from Hell? They’re welcome to it.

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Bowel nesting?

That’s a mental image I didn’t need.

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Is there a right and wrong way to sit on the toilet?

Turns out there is.

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Small angles. Got it.

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I don’t know about you, but I leave setting the “go” routine to my colon.

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I don’t blame them. Humans make me nervous as well.

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It wasn’t me, I swear.

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🤣

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

22 Comments

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And if you can use it? I’m a little afraid..

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Hope you’ve had breakfast already…

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Sorry Kendall.

For the good of the general public, my girls will continue to be well restrained.

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We once had a cat climb into our neighbor’s truck, but thankfully he only made it to the end of the cul de sac. Clearly Sox is a better traveler.

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I have problem feet and though I didn’t hear word from on high, bought a pair of Birkenstocks… which are both ugly and uncomfortable.

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Just in time for my husband to go back to work.

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The FAA is having a hard enough time regulating drone flight… grandmas flying to Wal Mart is a headache they really don’t need.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

17 Comments

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The fact that you can’t use it is what makes it worth reading.

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I think canine love is in direct proportion to the biscuit level of a Milkbone box.

Full box? Adoration

Box almost empty? Derision.

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Is it? This almost makes me afraid to open the pantry door.

(In case you’re wondering? It’s coffee. )

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Of course it was, it’s Florida.

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And let’s face it, that beats Ron DeSantis any day of the week and twice on Sunday’s.

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To be honest, I’d prefer to talk with the donkey.

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