Tag Archives: substitutes

CSA, grocery store oddities and…. pie.

 

Our neighbor’s farm is still churning out a bounty.

 

 

 

This week it was fresh basil, beets, parsley, Boston lettuce, giant scallions, heirloom zucchini and a large radish.

But oh, what a beautiful radish it was…

 

 

Who knew they could be so gorgeous!

This week at my local grocery store…

 

 

Seriously, are we back to hoarding paper towels now?

WTF.

It’s enough to make me want to grab a pitchfork and storm someone’s pantry. The world is not ending Karen… you don’t need 72 rolls of Bounty.

On another note, this –

 

 

Parmesan style what?

And why in hell would anyone buy fake cheese.

 

 

For all we know that stuff is grated styrofoam.

Sprinkle it on your spaghetti or cushion that garden gnome you’re mailing to Aunt Edna.. it’s nothing if not versatile.

And finally…. pie.

But not the fruit or cream variety.

 

 

Shepherd’s Pie, one of my husband’s favorite comfort foods.

 

 

Made with ground lamb thank you very much. If it’s beef, it’s Cottage Pie.

It shouldn’t surprise you to know the husband ate every drop of these two dishes. I’ll cook it, but rarely eat it. Too bland by far.

Enough with the substitutes.

 

In the last three months I’ve seen pasta fly off the grocery store shelves.

Pandemic shopping fever has wiped them clean at times and all that was left were substitutes.

Kale linguini?

Not if my life depended on it.

Squash angel hair?

Thank you, no.

So imagine my horror when I saw this in the refrigerated section this morning.

 

 

Tofu fettuccine and spaghetti.

What fresh Hell is this!

I picked up a package and it felt like slimy rubber…. which is probably what it tastes like it as well.

 

Grocery store funnies.

 

Lately there’s always something photo worthy at the grocery store.

Since the viral apocalypse, I’ve been seeing weird things on the shelves. Every day items have been replaced with generic and no name brands.

And when it comes to no name brands?

You can’t get any more nameless than this toilet paper.

 

 

Not wasting money on advertising slogans here. No sir.

Another weird sight?

 

 

A line of products approved by a skinny earth friendly butcher.

Beefy flavored stroganoff?

I’ll pass.

Chickenless Buffalo chicken?

Nope. It’s all yours.

But at least the pad Thai had authentic rice noodles. Because there’s nothing worse than wannabe rice.

And okay, I get it…. vegans have to eat. But it always makes me chuckle the lengths they’ll go to to approximate the taste of meat. If they don’t want to eat animal flesh, fine. They can stuff themselves with kale. Heck, I’ll gladly give them my share.

But enough with the winking plant protein butcher.

He’s not fooling anyone.