In the last three months I’ve seen pasta fly off the grocery store shelves.
Pandemic shopping fever has wiped them clean at times and all that was left were substitutes.
Kale linguini?
Not if my life depended on it.
Squash angel hair?
Thank you, no.
So imagine my horror when I saw this in the refrigerated section this morning.
Tofu fettuccine and spaghetti.
What fresh Hell is this!
I picked up a package and it felt like slimy rubber…. which is probably what it tastes like it as well.
Lately there’s always something photo worthy at the grocery store.
Since the viral apocalypse, I’ve been seeing weird things on the shelves. Every day items have been replaced with generic and no name brands.
And when it comes to no name brands?
You can’t get any more nameless than this toilet paper.
Not wasting money on advertising slogans here. No sir.
Another weird sight?
A line of products approved by a skinny earth friendly butcher.
Beefy flavored stroganoff?
I’ll pass.
Chickenless Buffalo chicken?
Nope. It’s all yours.
But at least the pad Thai had authentic rice noodles. Because there’s nothing worse than wannabe rice.
And okay, I get it…. vegans have to eat. But it always makes me chuckle the lengths they’ll go to to approximate the taste of meat. If they don’t want to eat animal flesh, fine. They can stuff themselves with kale. Heck, I’ll gladly give them my share.
But enough with the winking plant protein butcher.
He’s not fooling anyone.
River's world..... 