Tag Archives: tofu

I love my town.

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Not much exciting was happening in our little burg this week.

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It was a very mild winter and unfortunately we’re all apt to have lots of Johns. Wait…. that didn’t sound right.

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John gets around.

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Bad puns. They’re everywhere.

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A brazen coyote? This is where my mind went….

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That’s got to be a hard way to go.

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With a name like Tofu, the odds are good she wasn’t eaten. Even hawks have to draw the line somewhere.

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It’s about time.

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It took me decades, but I’ve finally found an appropriate use for tofu.

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And yes, this is actually a thing. Your cat can now do what you’ve always wanted to when presented with curdled soybeans. Look how proud this cat is to piss on it!

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Of course this feline doesn’t look very pleased.

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But personally, if I could poop on the revolting stuff? I’d be a very happy camper.

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What fresh Hell is this?

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Lately Facebook’s algorithms have given me non stop ball wash and butt deodorant. I have no idea why …. as I don’t have balls or need to perfume my ass.

But this?

This is definitely a bridge too far.

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Tofu!

For the love of all that’s holy…. no.

I don’t eat it.

I won’t eat it.

And you can’t make me eat it.

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A more disgusting thing to put in my mouth I have never met.

And that’s saying something.

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Pandemic humor.

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Because Covid isn’t funny… but we still need to laugh.

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Guess the conspiracy theorists were right after all.

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For anyone who has ever been owned by a cat, you know this is true.

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If only…

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Geesh. How bad do you suppose it has to get?

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It’s been almost a year since we traveled.

A year! That just doesn’t seem possible.

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Okay, on second thought ….I guess we don’t have it so bad after all.

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You’re welcome already.

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I can honestly say I’ve never felt so utterly appreciated for purchasing a product before this package arrived yesterday.

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The box told me I was helping hungry children.

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And that I was awesome.

I already knew this, but positive reinforcement never hurts.

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The inner paperwork thanked me.

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And told me again how awesome I was.

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It went on to explain that my one little bottle of ground rosemary (because the husband refuses to eat fresh… it’s too prickly. 🙄) fed one needy child.

I hope it’s true.

I’m choosing to believe it’s true, because if it’s not… I’d have to reconsider my awesomeness, and that’s not happening.

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The rosemary was quite good so I may order from them again.

But I seriously doubt it will be this…

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Tofu.

Smells like sweaty feet… and tastes even worse.

🤢

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Enough with the substitutes.

 

In the last three months I’ve seen pasta fly off the grocery store shelves.

Pandemic shopping fever has wiped them clean at times and all that was left were substitutes.

Kale linguini?

Not if my life depended on it.

Squash angel hair?

Thank you, no.

So imagine my horror when I saw this in the refrigerated section this morning.

 

 

Tofu fettuccine and spaghetti.

What fresh Hell is this!

I picked up a package and it felt like slimy rubber…. which is probably what it tastes like it as well.

 

I love my town … part, whatever.

 

Our town’s FB page has been filled with blog fodder lately.

Here are a few of the best…

 

 

Name That Scat?

You can’t get quality posts like this in the city.

No sir.

 

 

Damn, I wonder if that drone crackpot who wrapped himself in tinfoil lives close by?

No anal probes needed here.

 

 

This is utterly fabulous.

No joke.

 

 

Good thing the husband didn’t see this.

Free is a four letter word as far as I’m concerned.

 

 

 

Christ…

I hope not.

 

 

Our townspeople are so helpful.

Because you can never be too prepared for Zombies.

 

 

Toilet paper…

What’s that?

 

 

The Easter Bunny was spotted last month, although I’m not sure why he needed a cannon.

 

 

Thankfully this person lives on the other side of town because while tire planters are never a good idea….

Hot pink tire planters would strain even Mr. Rogers’ love for his neighbors.