Tag Archives: Barbie

News you can’t use.

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You can’t use it, but hopefully it will get entertaining.

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Oh those crazy Tik Tok-ers and their trends. Turns out lettuce water doesn’t help you sleep, but I bet there are tens of thousands of people drinking it anyway .

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This man worked at Burger King for over two decades without ever taking a sick day. To celebrate his commitment they gave him a coffee cup, a (single) movie ticket and some candy. When he shared the happy news online his daughter set up a Go Fund Me page with a $200 goal … it’s reached $400,000. I really hope he tells them what they can do with their Whopper.

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That’s not a question you hear every day. Further research is required…

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Yes, the ushers in a downtown Denver movie theater had to forcibly remove a man who was watching Barbie completely au natural. Hope he didn’t spill the hot cheese on his nachos.

Ouch.

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A little bit of this and a whole lotta nothing.

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In case I don’t say it often enough, I love my little Maine town.

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Keep your boring lost dogs and cats, we have befuddled bovines.

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And free flowers.

Is it any wonder we love living here?

❤️

Bored by sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room the other day I scrolled my phone and stumbled on a stupid “What would a Barbie from your state look like?” site.

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Maine Barbie goes hiking… in a mini skirt with perfectly coiffed hair.

I’ve been hiking in Maine. Trust me, women do not look like this.

On the other hand, they had my birth state of New Jersey down pat.

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Jersey Barbie has bling.. and attitude to spare.

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Yes, I’m posting about grapes.

But not just any grapes.

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Margarita grapes.

You’re welcome.

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The March squirrel.

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It’s March first…. and that means it’s time for a new calendar squirrel.

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This month we see the little red devil has loaded up the kids and taken to the road.

Let it be known – I will gladly purchase a Barbie recreational vehicle if our furry red rodent from Hell will hit the highway. Heck, I’ll fill the damn thing with nuts if that’s what it takes for her to vacate the premises.

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Look, it even has a pool. Maybe I’ll get lucky and the little bitch will drown.

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Pandemic humor.

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Because we all need to laugh more often.

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I don’t know, but FFS…. someone send her back.

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How exactly does one do that?

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We’ll all be doing this come January.

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Yes.

That sounds about right.

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Guess it’s been a rough year for everyone.

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Oh, those Brits.

Ever helpful with the good advice.

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Here’s hoping your holiday is happy, safe and free of tactical response teams.

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