This one got me thinking…. because to be honest? I’ve lead a charmed life and don’t have many regrets. I don’t tend to do many things I don’t want to do, so this was a puzzler.
I could say – accompany my husband to those boring military reunions he insists on attending… but he likes having me there and I love him, so what are ya gonna do?.
I could say – try those homemade kale chips my friend made especially for me because she just knew I would love them. I didn’t. Blech! 🤢
But for this question I think I have to say visiting Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia. We had a little person with us so she was thrilled…
.
.
But paying $20 to park and $250 for four of us to walk around plastic fantastic town is not my idea of a good time. I knew I’d hate it and I did. I’ve always despised theme parks and Disneyland like amusements… they’re eye popping-ly overpriced , crowded and above all? Fake.
That picture was taken in their “European village” and sorry, but I wasn’t buying it. I’ve been to France and nothing about their French section felt the least bit Gallic.
So I’m not going back to Busch Gardens… what are you never doing again?
It was finally dark enough to check out the lights we’d paid a small fortune to see at Busch Gardens.
Have you ever stood in a freezing cold circle of strangers and stared at a tree?
We did.
And I felt like a Who.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas as much as the next person.
But Christmas in Busch Gardens? Loud and crowded, filled with screaming, unruly, sugared up children as well as their rude, cell phone addicted parents…. and utterly devoid of the old world charm they were attempting to replicate?
No.
But we smiled… and enjoyed the company of those we love.
If not the techno extravaganza.
I read there were 10 million lights in Christmas Town…. and I believe it.
If it stood still? They lit it.
Admittedly there were some pretty spots.
But the crowds pushed you along at a pace not conducive to enjoying them.
There were numerous theaters you could enter and view a show…. for a large price.
But we did stumble on this extremely blue one for free.
Naturally there was no place left to sit…
So we stood off to the side and listened for a while.
Until our teeth were chattering again.
Thank God for the warm up stations.
At least they got that right.
This was an impressive section of lights.
Although I was constantly getting bumped into when I stopped and attempted to focus a shot.
That tree at the end?
Shone like the sun.
It was so damn bright….. I think my retinas actually screamed.
In case I forgot to mention it….. trying to stay together and find your way around this place in the dark amidst the crowds of screaming children and oblivious parents? A total nightmare. We had no idea where we were half the time and by the time we decided to head back to the parking lot?
We couldn’t find a map, no less the exit. And I think they plan it that way. We even went into the stores and asked the staff how to get out …. but they looked at us like the proverbial deer in headlights.
Maybe they never get out…
I don’t know.
Asking the plastic polar bears seemed like a waste of time.
So we kept walking.
Took a right past the ice castle…. then a left…. then a right… and another left…. and backed up… and crossed a bridge…. and turned around….. and found ourselves back at the damned ice castle.
We walked and walked.
And shivered and chattered and froze.
We also blessed the day man discovered fire.
But then we finally saw something familiar.
And I was never so happy to see a fake European village square in my life.
Joy to the World my *ss.
I was only joyful when we found the exit, waited on yet another long line for the shuttle, rode the sardine can to the parking lot with 50 tired, cranky children and worn out adults and got into our car.
I think we’ve established we are not theme park people.
So spending 6 hours at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg while on Christmas vacation?
It’s billed as the prettiest theme park in the country.
And while I doubt that’s a very high bar…..
It’s plastic fantastic fake European villages failed to impress….. seeing they were less village and more overpriced stores filled with gimmicky tourist merchandise.
It was enough to make me drink.
Warm Apple Pie Cocktail in hand… we continued.
(You knew it was coming, don’t look so surprised. If ever I was in dire need of alcohol? It was then.)
So we paid a fortune, had drinks in hand and a 7 year old who wanted to go on some rides. Problem was… most of them weren’t operational for Christmas.
This did not go over well with the little person in our midst.
She couldn’t drink, and she didn’t care about fake Europe… she just wanted some rides!
We found a few animals to distract her.
But it was cold and she was growing more bored with each step. Every ride we passed? Locked up tight.
And then viola!
I spotted a gondola.
3 adults and a midget. We’re in!
So we get on line.
A long line.
A very long line that took us almost 40 minutes to reach the end.
We boarded, anticipating a leisurely ride over the park.
And I kid you not, after taking this picture….
And this video….
Which lasted 40 seconds, we were done.
One second of ride for each minute we waited on line. Totally worth it!
Not.
We landed in “France”.
And you know what? I’ve been to France…. this wasn’t even close.
Still not finding a working ride, I spotted Hogwarts and the child’s eyes lit up.
Yay me!
Boo Busch Gardens…. it was blocked off and locked up tight.
I was beginning to hate this place.
Psychedelic camera toting bear aside.
Did I mention it was cold?
I mean down right freezing for southerners and even quite brisk for us Yankees after a few hours of walking.
At least this made her laugh.
If we had known all the fun kid stuff would be closed? We wouldn’t have gone in the afternoon but just waited until after dark for the lights.
Even the scooter brigade looked disappointed.
We did mange to find an old time carousel.
Where we waited on line for another 30 minutes to ride for 30 seconds. You could seriously get whiplash from how quickly these things end.
Magic dragons were climbed on….
Towers were explored….
More alcohol was needed….
Okay, maybe that was just me.
Rope bridges were crossed….
Even by the husband if you can believe it.
Another warm up station later, it was starting to get dark enough to see some lights.
And yes, as cold and miserable as I was….. I was going to wait until dark for the lights we paid almost $300 to see.
Before I regale you with yet another day of our vacation adventures….. a little personal history.
In case you hadn’t guessed? The husband and I don’t have any children. It was a lifestyle choice we made many years ago and haven’t had cause to regret it. But back in the early 90’s we took a neighbor’s child under our wing when her single mother was having a hard time.
She was the child we never had….
We helped raise her…..
And since she had no contact with her real father, my husband took over the role.
Attitude adjustments et al.
She wasn’t ours biologically…..
But she will always be the child of our hearts.
We’ve watched her grow into a beautiful young woman…
And now she’s happily married…..
With a child of her own….
And we feel like we have a grandchild as well. They still live in North Carolina so whenever we’re near…. we get together. She loves that we have a timeshare and enjoys staying with us at the various resorts. On Day 8 of this trip? She and her daughter joined us for the weekend before Christmas.
When they arrived? A goose traffic jam…
I love me some goosers… so pardon the ridiculous tone of voice I use in the video.
As well as me cursing out the idiot who was honking their horn at those sweet little waddlers.
After their 4 1/2 hour trip, Destiny and Gracie were hungry so we took them to that great seafood place we’d found… Fat Tuna.
We stuffed ourselves silly with hushpuppies, cornbread and shrimp and grits….
While the husband opted for a seafood pasta.
This was in anticipation of where we would be spending the afternoon and evening… because when you have a 7 year old? Sitting around chatting with a cocktail isn’t going to cut it.
So the husband and I did what we never… ever!… do.
We went to a theme park.
And it was just as awful as I knew it would be.
We stood in a long line to board the shuttle.
We crammed onto the shuttle like sardines.
We waited on long lines to buy overpriced tickets…. and not even a funny spare tire cover could make up for what we were about to experience.
(I hope he was talking about the jeep and not his wife.
I really do.)
But yes…. the husband and I shelled out $240 frickin’ dollars to visit Christmas Town at Busch Gardens.
No senior discount, no military discount, no under 12 discount.
Suck it Santa!
Did I mention it was also $20 to leave our car in the north 40, somewhere south of bumblef*ck Egypt parking lot?
$260 just to walk in.
Kill me now.
But we were there with people we loved…
And my husband… who never wants to pose for photographs?
Was posing all over the place…. and smiling.
Now that’s a true Christmas miracle!
Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 