It was finally dark enough to check out the lights we’d paid a small fortune to see at Busch Gardens.

Have you ever stood in a freezing cold circle of strangers and stared at a tree?

We did.

And I felt like a Who.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas as much as the next person.

But Christmas in Busch Gardens? Loud and crowded, filled with screaming, unruly, sugared up children as well as their rude, cell phone addicted parents…. and utterly devoid of the old world charm they were attempting to replicate?

No.

But we smiled… and enjoyed the company of those we love.

If not the techno extravaganza.

I read there were 10 million lights in Christmas Town…. and I believe it.

If it stood still? They lit it.

Admittedly there were some pretty spots.

But the crowds pushed you along at a pace not conducive to enjoying them.

There were numerous theaters you could enter and view a show…. for a large price.

But we did stumble on this extremely blue one for free.

Naturally there was no place left to sit…

So we stood off to the side and listened for a while.

Until our teeth were chattering again.

Thank God for the warm up stations.

At least they got that right.

This was an impressive section of lights.

Although I was constantly getting bumped into when I stopped and attempted to focus a shot.

That tree at the end?

Shone like the sun.

It was so damn bright….. I think my retinas actually screamed.

In case I forgot to mention it….. trying to stay together and find your way around this place in the dark amidst the crowds of screaming children and oblivious parents? A total nightmare. We had no idea where we were half the time and by the time we decided to head back to the parking lot?

We couldn’t find a map, no less the exit. And I think they plan it that way. We even went into the stores and asked the staff how to get out …. but they looked at us like the proverbial deer in headlights.

Maybe they never get out…

I don’t know.

Asking the plastic polar bears seemed like a waste of time.

So we kept walking.

Took a right past the ice castle…. then a left…. then a right… and another left…. and backed up… and crossed a bridge…. and turned around….. and found ourselves back at the damned ice castle.

We walked and walked.

And shivered and chattered and froze.

We also blessed the day man discovered fire.

But then we finally saw something familiar.

And I was never so happy to see a fake European village square in my life.

Joy to the World my *ss.

I was only joyful when we found the exit, waited on yet another long line for the shuttle, rode the sardine can to the parking lot with 50 tired, cranky children and worn out adults and got into our car.

Christmas Town at Busch Gardens Williamsburg?

Bah humbug.

Overpriced and over rated.