Tag Archives: humor

I’m floored.

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I’m happy to report that our new flooring is 100% complete.

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One last box was just enough to finish the front door section.

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And we are pleased.

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I’m also pretty stoked that we nailed the color match of the moulding stain.

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Floor moulding new, door and window moulding old.

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See the little cove moulding piece on the bottom of the cabinet?

Pretty, pretty, pretty damn close!

(Last sentence must be read with Larry David accent for full effect)

😊

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Replacing me is hard to do.

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Work resumed in the crap filled dungeon cellar the other day and more ceiling panels were installed…. with one glaring difference.

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I wasn’t assisting.

After the last bout of me trying (and failing) to hold a sheet a plywood in place over my head while the husband drilled …. replacement help was enlisted in the form of my husband’s cousin.

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This is a completed section with ceiling, insulated walls and shelving. Not that you can see much of it through the solid mass of worthless crap treasure.

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This is an uncompleted section, and if you look closely you can see the husband on a ladder surrounded by his ridiculous amount of junk treasures.

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Funny part is his cousin turned out to be a pretty useless assistant. He was always in the way and actually dropped a piece of plywood on my husband’s head.

Even I never did that.

😉

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News you can’t use.

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Useless and chuckle worthy is my goal.

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I must be part Labrador… because all this extra weight I’m carrying can’t be my fault.

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What a deal.

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I can’t say I’ve ever had any great desires to visit Detroit… but now I kind of do.

Singing pork products are hard to find.

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And so it begins…

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Someone probably did, but I’m guessing it wasn’t this guy.

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New appliances.

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Remember that fancy schmantsy toaster my husband gave me as a gift? The one with the ridiculous price tag and all those bells and whistles no one needs?

Well, it died the other day… 3 months past it’s warranty of course.

So before I could run to Wal Mart or Target to purchase a more reasonable replacement?

My husband came home with this…

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An even more expensive version with bells, whistles and flashing lights.

Sigh.

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Does it toast bread? Sure.

Will it live longer than 3 months past its warranty? Only time will tell…

In other news (not to mention definitive proof I’m old) I’m going to gush about a vacuum.

Or more precisely the adorable Dyson Omni Glide rechargeable stick vacuum.

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It’s small, easy to operate, disconnect and empty. The multi positional head is a dream and glides everywhere… effortlessly. Smooth fabric rollers won’t scratch our new floors and it has two suction settings to pick up His Lordship’s messes.

I’m in love.

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❤️

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Things that made me look twice.

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It’s not every day you see a sleeping opossum hugging a crocheted opossum while wearing Crocs, but here you are.

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I remember having Barbie Dolls when I was a child. I never really liked them but people always gifted them to me because, ya know.. girl toy.

Back in my day there weren’t many varieties of Barbie, maybe Malibu… and that seemed exotic at the time. Now? There are hundreds.

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Damn. That sure beats a suntan.

And lest you think these versions are cheap, Barbie with psychotic birds will set you back $399…. which I thought was outrageous until I saw this –

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Yikes!

The title of this next photograph I took when we went out to lunch the other day should be Are we doing this now?

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How about you just pay your kitchen staff a decent wage and not expect the customers to pay extra to keep them happy?

🥴

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It pays to shop around.

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My husband couldn’t understand why I wanted to visit sooo many different furniture stores. We’d picked out the style of couches….

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And the matching chair and ottoman.

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I’d even decided on the fabrics.

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But the price quotes were all over the place.

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That’s a considerable difference, and surprising because the highest quote came from the large chain store that constantly crows about its low prices.

And just when my (very patient) husband was crying uncle and telling me to “buy something already!”….

I found an even lower price for the exact same thing.

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From $7,775 to $5,798.

A savings of $1,977.

Yay me.

Less money and the satisfaction of supporting a small business that’s been in the same family for over 100 years.

That’s what I call a win win.

Free delivery in 6-8 weeks.

😊

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Let’s play.

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You know you want to.

If you’re like me you’ve held multiple jobs in your life. Some you liked, some you hated.

So let’s have some fun by picking a profession from this 1881 list.

What would you have been doing?

Choose and defend.

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I’m going with turnip shepherd. There’s got to be a lot of down time with this career. Turnips aren’t well known for straying… so I’m imaging myself kicked back under a shade tree tending my flock with a good book and a pitcher of margaritas.

How about you…

How would you be earning a living in 1881?

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