For my friends of a certain age… did your mother ever force feed you castor oil? If so, be glad it was only a tablespoon and you weren’t on Mussolini’s bad side.
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Next up … a little story on something you should never do to increase sexual pleasure.
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Ouch! Not to mention eww.
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I knew that bitch had military experience! We’re doomed.
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You have to wonder what kind of little boy or girl fantasized about owning a company that specializes in these products. “What do you want to be when you grow up Susie/Sammy?” “A butt paste and douche distributor mommy. It will be so much fun!”
Have you ever seriously thought about dung? I can’t say I have, but clearly someone is taking note.
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Counting poop pellets? Well, everyone needs a hobby.
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I only have one word for that revelation….
Wow.
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While this graphic of weaponized coconuts is disturbing, one has to wonder why the cartoon father has grabbed mom, stolen junior’s lollipop and left junior to fend for himself.
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I know age has widened my circumference. I feel ya tree.
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Frass. A great word, but as any serious Scrabble player knows…. not worth wasting two S’s. I shall instead whip kerf out on my unsuspecting husband this weekend. K and F? Now you’re talking.
At the turn of the century, Indian leopards developed a taste for human flesh. (If that’s not a great line to start a blog? I don’t know what is.)
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Pop a hot coal in grandma’s mouth and roll her down the hill? I know India is hot… but that’s cold.
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As much as I love all animals… (and I do! Weirdos like wombats, echidnas, and warthogs? Love ‘em all.) I can not stand monkeys. They’re shifty little bastards and this proves my point.
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Jet propelled ejaculate? Yet another reason to dislike monkeys…
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I’m sure that’s more than you ever wanted to know about jerking off a monkey, but I live to educate.
You’re welcome.
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Religion is a strange thing. When random rats start dropping from the sky? My first thought is not going to be a blessing, I can guarantee you that.
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This is wonderful news. I must move to Britain immediately! Red squirrels are in decline? It sounds like heaven.
While Spook was a semi interesting read, I have to admit it wasn’t the chuckle a minute I was expecting. Perhaps the subject of death is beyond even Ms Roach’s power of snark.
There weren’t nearly as many blog worthy snippets, but here are a few I thought strange enough to include.
The early chapters talk a lot about the soul. What it is, where it is, how much it weighs, and the sometimes odd ways religions define and honor it.
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Porta potties for the dearly departed? That qualifies as odd in my book. And if your family neglects the weekly grocery run you have to eat your own poop from the beyond the grave? Clearly the Egyptians have a different idea of heaven.
Discussions of the soul’s origin are plentiful.
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Semen derived souls? Stop and ponder that for a moment.
Communicating with the dead covered a few chapters… with methods ranging from xrays, radios, EVP, as well as medium transference during a seance. These were all the rage at the turn of the century and as expected, charlatans soon took advantage. Levitating tables, ghostly apparitions and screaming banshees were all part of the show. One of the weirdest so called phenomenon? Ectoplasm. Which surprisingly looks a lot like wet spaghetti.
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Ectoplasm (from the Greek ektos, meaning “outside”, and plasma, meaning “something formed or molded”) is a term used in spiritualism to denote a substance or spiritual energy “exteriorized” by physical mediums.
From water soaked cheesecloth to cow intestine, mediums would do anything to draw a paying crowd.
Gather round boys and girls, it’s time to scientifically examine what happens after we die with select excerpts from book #3 in my ever expanding Mary Roach collection.
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You loved Stiff. You were pleasantly revolted by Gulp. So let’s pull back the veil of death and ponder the age old mystery.
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Important questions, all.
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In case you’re wondering… reincarnation nation is India. And since they have the highest number of people who claim to be born again, that’s where Mary began her research.
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This does not bode well. Cheese vagueness is a terrible thing.
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Au contraire Mary. I think the P.P. designation is damn near perfect.
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If that’s not definitive proof of reincarnation, I don’t know what is.
In reading this book we learn culture and religion have a lot to do with the acceptance of past lives, as this ancient Hindu text demonstrates. Live a good life? You will be rewarded. Live a bad life? Well… that’s where things get interesting.
Yes dear readers, our time exploring the digestive track is coming to a close and I only have a few more pearls of wisdom to share.
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Far be it for me to judge how you prefer your intoxicants to be delivered, but if it’s alright with you I’ll consume my Appletini the traditional way… precariously perched on a bar stool.
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Not being Catholic I was unaware rectal consumption was a topic that kept the Pope up at night, but I’m happy to pass along a helpful cheating technique to get you through the hunger pangs of Lent all the same.
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I’m going to leave you with that titillating teaser about the King’s actual cause of death in hopes it will have you running to your nearest library and requesting a copy of this highly educational and entertaining book.
The next section of this wild and weirdly wonderful book covers the uncomfortable topic of … how shall I put it? Storage space.
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A workable alternative?
Not for me!
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‘Hooped’ means rectally imported.
I live to educate.
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I will never look at a bicycle tire pump the same way again.
😳
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Okay ladies, raise your hands. How many of you orgasmed during childbirth?
I don’t have children, so tell me… is that really a thing? All the birth videos I’ve seen show women screaming, but it sure doesn’t look like it’s with pleasure.
Spit. If you read this book you’ll learn more about it than you ever dreamed possible.
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I hope so too Mary.
Yikes!
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A new stomach lining every three days?
Color me impressed.
Did I mention this book has some rather odd photographs?
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I just finished a section devoted to the myth of Jonah and the Whale… as well as other improbable stories of surviving inside a stomach after someone has swallowed you. Spoiler alert- they’re all hogwash, it’s impossible. But Mary offers some handy advice all the same.
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I suppose there worse places to live than in a penguin.
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 