Tag Archives: christmas

Ho! Ho! Holy Hell, It’s Elvis!

 

Yes, my friends.

Elvis is alive and well and living in Mid Coast Maine.

 

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He’s also doing a bit of a comb over, but give the guy a break…. he still rocks the sequined jumpsuit.

We ran into Elvis in downtown Bath, where they do an old fashioned Christmas celebration every year.

 

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Just follow the city hall beacon….

 

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And you’ll find ice sculptures….

 

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Live music in art galleries…

(Can we talk about that statue? Is she carrying laundry, or dead bodies? Either way I don’t want her in my living room.)

 

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Stores were open late selling jewelry made from crushed lobster shells…

 

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As well as mussel shells.

(It’s Maine. Go with it…)

 

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The streets were brightly lit…

 

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And I intended to get that way as well.

 

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Three Beekeepers?

Don’t mind if I do….

Sadly, the food was awful at the Bath Brewing Company.

 

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But we did have a senior citizen caroling flash mob…

 

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So the evening wasn’t a total loss.

 

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If only I had asked them where they bought their hats.

 

 

Let’s talk about poop.

 

( Bet you’re wishing I was still on vacation, eh?)

I was Christmas shopping with a friend the other day and we noticed a disturbing trend…

 

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I passed off the first sighting of a poop themed gift as a fluke.

 

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But then I saw this…

 

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And this.

 

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And while I admit a hovering pile of poop drone might be inventive, even slightly creative….. I can’t honestly say I want one flying overhead anytime soon.

I also do not want to stack, or write with poop.

 

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And if that just wasn’t enough poop to satisfy you…

How about some pink girly poop?

 

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Made all the more disturbing by the cryptic packaging.

What the hell is going on there….

Is that a mouth with teeth?

Are you supposed to chew the poop?

Or is the poop coming out of the nostrils?

 

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Right.

And mind you these were not seen in toy stores, where at least a fondness for poop could be explained….but in adult sections of book stores and various department stores in the mall.

Anyway you look at it, it’s disgusting. Or at the very least… childishly stupid. I gave up potty humor at age 4, you should too.

I know the world may seem like it’s going down the toilet lately, but this is one gift giving idea I hope gets flushed.

Just in time for Christmas!

 

Never let it be said I don’t help my friends.

Do you have one of those hard to buy for people on your shopping list?

You know…. that one person you struggle with every year because they already have everything?

Well, I can almost guarantee you they don’t have any of these.

 

 

 

Yes.

Those are gifts made with moose poo.

 

 

Well, Mainers love to recycle.

 

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As well as sell tourists lots of useless crap they don’t need.

 

 

I can’t really answer that.

But if you need a floating moose turd key chain, I can probably hook you up.

 

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You can’t make this stuff up.

No, I’m not kidding.

You’re welcome.

😎