Tag Archives: decorating

Too good not to share… the finale.

 

Crazy real estate agent’s photos part 3, and let’s start it off with a bang.

Or a boom as the case may be..

 

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There’s so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to start. Aside from the obvious WTF factor…. this guy looks like he’s getting ready to goose you. Why are his hands open wide? Why do you have to reach into his chest to flush? And considering what he must see everyday… why  the hell is he smiling?

 

 

Wow.

 

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Someone clearly had too much time… and acrylic paint… on their hands.

 

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Just your normal bathroom/dining room combo…

 

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And bathroom/kitchen combo….

 

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And bathroom/bedroom combo.

 

 

Porches.

 

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Not just for outside anymore.

 

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When you live in the city… but your wife really wants a cow.

 

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Because sun shade awnings are stylish anywhere.

 

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Proof positive there is such a thing as too much togetherness.

Truly.

 

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I’m not sure what’s more disturbing about this bizarre bathtub… the fact that it’s covered in carpet?

That it has 4 decorative poles?

Or that it appears to have an electric heater installed on the side?

 

 

 

I don’t know.

I really don’t.

Too good not to share… Part 2.

 

Before we found our current house, I went on what I lovingly refer to as the “Homes From Hell Tour” with my real estate agent. It was a seller’s market back in 2002 and they were selling some crazy sh*t.

We found a bedroom floor with a large hole in the center. It was a crater, you could see 2 stories down…. we found a trampoline in a living room with bumper pads on the walls and ceiling…. and we found a room entrance completely covered with blue tarps and duct tape. Apparently you only got to see what was in there if you purchased the place.

So yes, these crazy realtor photos make me laugh.

 

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Curtains.

You’re doing it wrong.

 

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When you’re bound and determined to make use of every last inch of space.

 

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Good luck finding a bath mat to fit there.

 

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I’m speechless.

And that doesn’t happen very often…

 

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Good to know.

 

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If you really, really, really want to live by the ocean… but can’t afford it.

 

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And finally..

When you can’t afford wallpaper, but grandma has some spare rugs in her attic.

 

 

Too good not to share…

 

I was cruising FB the other day and saw a post from a realtor friend of mine.

It was a collection of mondo bizarro things agents find in homes they’re hired to sell and it was too damned funny not to share.

So Part 1 starts now.

 

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For those days when it’s too damned hot to actually go outside and jump in the pool.

 

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My husband once put a desk together backwards, so this really cracks me up.

 

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Aside from the glaringly obvious yellow vomit color scheme?

There are way too many eyes in this bathroom for me to be comfortable doing my business.

 

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Curtains.

They’re not just for windows anymore…

 

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When you want carpet in the bedroom, and your other half doesn’t.

 

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I haven’t decided if this is a living room in a bathroom… or a bathroom in a living room. But either way?

 

 

For those who are Thrones bereft.

 

Game of Thrones is over…

 

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And whether you loved the ending or not…

You have to admit, it was one helluva ride.

 

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But if you’re feeling sad…

Because Sunday nights no longer have a purpose?

Maybe this will help…

 

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A dragon lamp with different color “flames”.

For those times you really want to yell Dracarys.

 

 

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Yes, they exist.

 

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And the description is blog worthy in and of itself.

 

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Well, I do love lots of Game of Thrones.

And I wouldn’t mind making a dragon gift to my friends.

But the fact that it’s made of high quality plastic? With good detailization?

Plus! Plus!

 

And face it, now that season 8 is finished….

It’s as close to dragons as any of us are going to get.

 

 

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The after Christmas Christmas… and flying poop.

 

Saturday night found us at our friend’s house… she of the annual weirdo Xmas tree.

 

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By the time we arrived, this year’s forest had sprouted a cat.

 

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There was a small Seussian tree in the dining room…

 

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And shrub Santas by her back door.

 

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The Santas made me smile..

 

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The chipped paint on the steps made me twitch.  (Yes, I literally twitched. The husband had to ask if I was alright.)  **Note to self – buy friend a gallon of paint for her birthday next month**

We drank, had dinner, drank, and exchanged gifts a week late.

 

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Naturally, the exchange made us laugh.

One of my gifts to her is on the left. A crazy lace agate pendant…

 

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One of her gifts to me? On the right….. a crazy lace agate pendant.

This is what happens when you know your friends too well.

And if that wasn’t bad enough?

I gave her husband the new Game of Thrones book…..

 

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Which she then gave to me.

(This was probably funnier after the 3 margaritas and 1 raspberry martini I had, but you get the idea.)

And then….

Then my husband opened one of his gifts.

And I almost fell off the chair.

Remember my recent blog about poop products?

Oh, yes…

 

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We are now the envy of our neighbors and have a Hovering Poop drone of our very own.

 

 

Don’t be jealous.

You know there will be a blog totally devoted to this very soon, and I will share the joy.

Because really.

How can I not?

 

 

A quiet Christmas – 2018.

 

Okay, so I was sick and hacking up a lung and it wasn’t all that quiet.

But it was peaceful.

And full of prime rib….

 

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Which I manged to cook to rare and juicy perfection… even with a splitting sinus headache that was making my ears pop.

For the first time in years we stayed home for the holiday, so I did a little outside decorating….. and along with wreaths and candles in the front windows there were snowflakes running down the side.

 

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Which looked rather disembodied in the dark.

 

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It’s the first time I’ve tried these battery operated, on a timer things.

Pro? They come on and off  by themselves. Con? They only stay lit for 6 hours.

 

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I also did up the barn.

 

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Trees on the porch…

 

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Holly lights in the windows.

 

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I love those things. Have had them for over 20 years and they still work… kind of like my husband.

(I need two more for the front so if you ever find any? Let me know… because I can’t.)

 

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The trees look white from far away, but have a little color as well.

Anyway, we looked slightly festive… at least from the outside.

Inside? All I managed was some Xmas place mats and a Charlie Brown tree…. which my sweet husband put a present under.

 

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Even though we agreed not to exchange.

💓 💓 💓

He did well, with a lovely handmade gold and silver bracelet….

 

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Which I had to chuckle at …. because 2 years ago, he gave me this lovely handmade gold and silver bracelet.

 

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Same designer, similar style. He’s nothing if not consistent!

But hey, worn together?

 

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Ooh la la!

I love it.

Hope your Christmas was filled with wonderful things as well…..

 

 

 

 

Weirdo Christmas trees.

 

I have a friend  ( Yes, I really do have them. They exist! And not just in my mind, so there.)  who is quite crafty, artistic and creative. This extends to her holiday decorating and every year she has a different Christmas tree.

And when I say different?

I mean different.

One year, it was made of driftwood.

 

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The next?  Pine cones.

 

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Then giant free floating balls.

 

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Which aren’t usually the balls one wants to have, but these were pretty cool.

 

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Some years there are normal trees…

 

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Which are almost disappointing.

 

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But then we’re back to fabulously odd.

 

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And the next year there’s a canopy tree hovering over your head.

One season it was made from recycled CD’s and put out the light of 100 suns.

 

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(Seriously, this thing could have powered a small town.)

 

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When you visit my friend’s house at Christmas, you never know what you’ll get… which is kind of a hoot.

So we went over last weekend and saw the 2018 version.

 

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To which my reaction was…. meh.

Slightly Seussian with the bare branch and one green ball, but not the most inspirational.

Oh well, there’s always next year.