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I haven’t written a front porch progress report lately because we had a good bit of rain and a few days of serious yard work that stalled construction temporarily.
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But the husband is back at it… deciding that old warped middle frame board he tried so hard to save needed to be replaced after all.
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New boards …
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New braces…
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He’s making his way down the line.
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And started playing with the new composite decking .
I’m calling it progress.
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When my husband first started tearing down the old porch he hoped to save some of the original frame.
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Some of the original wood came off easily, some required gentle coercion.
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I’m not quite sure what went on here…
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When my husband is working a project, I find it safer not to ask.
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New framing meets old.
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In jigsaw like pieces apparently.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten has been very curious where all the noise is coming from, so I took him out for a stroll to check the progress.
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Naturally he found the old dryer vent hole and had to investigate.
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I saw this the other day when I was stopped at a traffic light and had to do a double take.
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Want a truck but can’t afford one?
No problem, just cut off the back of your car, add some cardboard and call it good.
🤣
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As previously reported, the barn bar construction is finished and now it’s just a matter of waiting for chairs.
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But on further inspection, I noticed this.
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Not visible until you’re slightly under it (which I may be some day in the near future, don’t judge) was an exposed lip of pressboard used to support the top.
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I wasn’t loving it and decided to turn it into a nice little black strip.
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What a royal pain in the ass that was.
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I didn’t paint the whole thing, just the trim edge. But it looks better.
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More finished.
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And it picks up all the other black accents in the room quite nicely.
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It took me forever, but there. Mission accomplished.
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After the Barn Mahal clean out… there was open space. Glorious, uncluttered open space. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I appreciated it all the same.
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And when I looked around? There was a table and chairs.
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Okay, we’re building a bar for that… but whatever.
The next day?
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There was another table and chairs.
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The day after that 3 more tables had migrated their way in. WTH? Is the husband planning on opening a cafe….
Which is exactly what I asked him during our inaugural beer.
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No, it wasn’t our first time on the nectar of the gods merry go round, but it was the first time we drank inside the barn, seated at a table, with heat.
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I never did get an answer to my why do you need 5 fricking tables question… but we did manage to get that stupid mobility scooter we wasted $850 on last year up and running again.
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We purchased it second hand for his brother, who swore he needed it… until we gave it to him free of charge, when he decided he didn’t want it after all. 😡
We tried selling it last year but didn’t have any luck. Now the husband wants it gone so I’m going to list it again… for half what we paid, damn it…. and see what happens.
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Note to self? It’s probably not a good idea to drink beer for hours and then fully charge a scooter.
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The following day I figured if I couldn’t beat the too many tables paradigm, I’d join it… and hung a little something of my own for flavor.
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Perfect!
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The pool table was uncovered, brushed and racked.
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A hat and coat rack was hung by the door.
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And a few vintage WWII propaganda posters from 1943 I’ve been meaning to frame were framed and displayed.
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It was during this time we decided the ugly bracing pole in the middle of the room… which was never supposed to be there but was deemed necessary when we noticed the top floor bounced when we walked on it during the original construction…. needed to be spruced up.
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The (now lovely) wood walls and trimmed windows demanded it.
I expected to blog about the normal nightmare of measuring and cutting and cursing but things went remarkably well.
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Maybe we’re finally getting the hang of it.
So…. the before.
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And the after.
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Please don’t ask why he put my porch barrels on the loveseat. I have no reasonable explanation for that.
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A few more windows needed trimming…
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Which meant a lot more measuring, cutting and cursing…
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Why the cursing?
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Because the last window was not what you… or any semi sober person… would call square.
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Oops.
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Cover the gap with quarter round, trim…. then call it good and move on to the porch door.
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Yes, the porch is my domain … so the porch door has a seasonally appropriate wreath. Man cave be damned.
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Trimming this slapped together frame for a door that came from the dump proved challenging.
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And yes, the language got as colorful as the wreath.
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But it was only when the husband looked down…
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And realized the floor moulding should meet the vertical door trim… not the other way around… that he knew he had some tinkering to do.
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But viola!
Adjustments were made and everything that needed to be trimmed was finally trimmed.
Is this the end of the Barn Mahal interior construction?
Only time will tell.
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The husband was back at it this past weekend.
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Finishing up the (not so) temporary (not so) easy access heat blocker to the upstairs.
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By the time I walked in he had the insulation board attached to the zip siding board …
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Had rigged up small pieces of insulation board on the top step..
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And was busy stuffing Roxul in the small holes.
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And the even smaller small holes.
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Our old doe was munching under the apple trees…
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And Mike Pence was still where no one wanted him to be.
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So much stuffing.
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Please remember… when this barn was built it was not meant to be an airtight and heated space, so there’s a lot of scrambling required to make it one now.
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So when all else fails?
Caulk.
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And then, for the man who didn’t want to use insulation board?
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Another piece of insulation board.
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So yes, there’s insulation board, on top of insulation board, on top of zip siding.
I dare the hot air to seep through that!
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When that was finished and blocked off, it was time to tackle weatherstripping the porch door.
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You know, the free one he brought home from the dump. The one without a frame or threshold. The non standard size nightmare that has gaps all the way around it and at least a two inch above the floor clearance.
Good times.
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Truer words have ne’er been spoke.
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We have a barn that really isn’t a barn. What started out as storage space for motorcycles and lawn mowers has morphed into a custom built man cave… and now that the man cave has a heat pump? The upstairs has to be temporarily blocked off for winter before the staircase turns into a chimney.
This should have been a simple project.
I told the husband – cut a piece of insulation foam. The heat pump installer told the husband – cut a piece of insulation foam. The friend that helps him now and then told the husband – cut a piece of insulation foam.
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Which is why the husband made a hinged door out of zip siding.
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Did I mention the husband doesn’t like to be told what to do?
After a laborious day of cursing and figuring and adjusting and fitting and more cursing….
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The husband came home to cut a piece of insulation foam.
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Which he wanted to attach to that hinged door of zip siding.
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This involved more measuring and cutting ..
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And fitting and pushing and removing and more measuring and cutting.
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Please note the non OSHA approved chunk of wood dismantling the saw’s safety feature.
More fitting.
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More measuring and cutting.
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More fitting.
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Halfway through the process, Mike Pence stopped by to say hello.
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And finally after I helped him measure, cut and fit for 3 hours to no avail… I snuck out.
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For the sake of my sanity…. as well as our marriage.
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I walked into the barn this morning to find my husband working on a template.
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And yes, I cringed.
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Having finished one side of the strapping on the ceiling and running out of that particular wood, he decided it was time to trim the windows.
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And while I applauded the fact he was actually going to corner them properly, I knew it wouldn’t be smooth sailing.
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One day.
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One entire day to frame two windows … because he added quarter round.
Why did he add quarter round you ask?
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Because when he first built this barn to be a… you know, barn? …there were giant gaps around the windows and nothing was air tight. Who was going to complain…. the lawn mowers?
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But now that’s it morphed into a palatial man cave, gaps must be sealed.
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And live ordinance moved.
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Framing on the outside, quarter round on the inside, and extra quarter round on the top corners…. all because he didn’t install the windows correctly the first time.
Jesus wept.
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But two windows were framed…
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And the giant bullet is back home.
To be continued…. unfortunately.
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River's world..... 