Tag Archives: pool table

This shouldn’t be so difficult.

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Forget toilet paper and gas shortages, the really rare items these days are clearly pool tables.

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As I mentioned in a previous post, the husband wants to replace our gifted (read free) inferior table with something bigger, better and more stylish.

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The problem is, in the entire state of Maine? I can only find 3 stores that sell what we’re looking for and none of them have inventory. They all told us to look online, find what we wanted and then come back to place an order.

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While we’ve narrowed it down to the classic style with tapered legs and leather ball baskets, choosing a table online means not being able to feel the quality or take it for a test drive. Heck, they all look good in the pictures…. which is why my husband has had me scouring Craig’s List and Facebook marketplace. We’ve checked out quite a few used tables and none of them have been worthy. Until I found this beauty.

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We drove an hour and a half to see it. The husband took it for a test drive.

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It was custom made in Maine of solid oak, lovingly cared for and best of all? Cheap! Husband wanted to change the felt color, but liked the table and was ready to fork over payment then and there…. but I suggested we check what it would cost to have the table professionally moved and set up in the Barn Mahal first…. and that’s when the whole thing came crashing down. We got estimates from 4 different places and the lowest was… are you ready?

$1,950.

To. Move. A. Table.

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I understand it has to be disassembled and reassembled, but damn Sam. Why on earth would I pay $900 for a used table, twice that to move it and probably another $500+ to change the felt…for a total of $3,350… when I can buy a brand new table, including delivery, set up, choice of style, wood finish and felt color, plus a set of pro balls for $3,500?

I wouldn’t. So I guess we’ll be shopping online and hoping for the best.

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Remember the free pool table?

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You know, the one our friends gave us that inspired my husband to spend untold thousands in converting his storage barn to a man cave extraordinaire? Well guess what…. the husband has decided the free table isn’t good enough now and has been shopping for a new one.

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Have you ever shopped for a pool table during a global pandemic that forced everyone to stay home? If not, I don’t recommend it. Maybe it’s just Maine, but up here decent pool tables are hard to find. After exhaustive research ( that would be me, you know he wouldn’t take the time ) and a few disappointing viewings from Craig’s List ( ‘oh yes, the table is nearly new and in perfect condition’ they say… standing over a tilted, dented wreck with ripped felt ) we found a store with two ( yes, that’s all ) tables for sale.

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Did I mention it was a very high class place? I deduced this by the dogs playing poker plastic sculpture that took center stage.

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Swanky pool cue holders were available as well.

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Husband tried this table but it got a no vote from me. If we’re going with better… I want better, not seedy pool hall decor.

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This had a little more style, but the wrong color felt. Turquoise may be hot right now but we prefer the old fashioned green.

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The tables can be ordered and customized with any wood finish as well.

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Out the door, delivered and professionally set up for $3,500. Please note this is a far cry from free…. but not as much as the Brunswick or Olhausen brands. Those babies go for $8,000 – $10,000.

* gulp *

The search continues.

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Barn decorating.

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If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. So I did and tried my hand at a little Barn Mahal decorating.

Under the stairs, some antique crocks and a large one that will double as a trash can.

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The apple press and butter table have now found a home.

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And then it was time to supervise the beginning of the husband’s I love myself wall.

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Marine Corps dress sword and a collection of photos of him in Vietnam, Okinawa and Beirut.

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I think it turned out well.

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And for the piece de resistance …

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A pool table cover I spent a fortune on as a gift.

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Needless to say it was a hit.

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Going, going… gone.

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Now that the man cave/ barn Mahal is starting to shape up? The husband wanted things out. My things that is.

Our old loveseat has been stored in there for years, and I was sad to see it go because it’s wicked comfortable and matched the walls quite well.

I voted for keeping it as you can never have too many comfy kick back with a beer or cocktail places to sit, but was instantly over ruled.

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The first person turned out to be the in-law of the man who stained our barn, so goodbye loveseat.

The next thing he made me get rid of was the driftwood tree. He’s been squawking about it’s removal for months now and no matter how much I tried to convince him it would be a unique addition to the barn decor?

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The minute I listed it? Three women were fighting over it. Guess I should have sold it instead.

So two of the things I wanted to keep were gone…. and guess what was added?

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A turkey foot that flips you off.

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This was a retaliation gift for the plaque I made the previous owner of the pool table after my husband beat him badly at the first game. They insisted the foot and plaque accompany the table…. so we’re now the proud owners of a petrified foot.

What do you want to bet we’re the only house on our block with one of those?

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The transformation has begun.

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The pool table was uncovered, brushed and racked.

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A hat and coat rack was hung by the door.

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And a few vintage WWII propaganda posters from 1943 I’ve been meaning to frame were framed and displayed.

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It was during this time we decided the ugly bracing pole in the middle of the room… which was never supposed to be there but was deemed necessary when we noticed the top floor bounced when we walked on it during the original construction…. needed to be spruced up.

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The (now lovely) wood walls and trimmed windows demanded it.

I expected to blog about the normal nightmare of measuring and cutting and cursing but things went remarkably well.

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Maybe we’re finally getting the hang of it.

So…. the before.

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And the after.

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Please don’t ask why he put my porch barrels on the loveseat. I have no reasonable explanation for that.

And on the 3,037th day….

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There was heat.

Yes, that’s really how long we’ve been working on the big barn. Saying we don’t like to rush things is a bit of an understatement.

But last week, this happened:

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The son of our soon to be ex friends came over to install a heat pump. It’s his business, and while I’m still cursing our rat bastard friends for giving us the free pool table that’s cost us thousands… their son is a great guy.

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Of course he might have been cursing them as well because drilling a hole through a building my husband built isn’t as easy as it should be.

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What should have taken mere minutes turned into a bit of an ordeal. And when that happens…

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You grab a hammer.

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After the hole was finally cut, it was just a matter of mounting the unit.

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With my husband… the man who has never lined up anything perfectly straight in his life…. standing back and saying, nope. It needs to go up a little on the left.

I believe my jaw dropped open at that point.

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Outside, the electrician connected power to the box… next to all the scrap wood that had to be hauled from under the barn to run the cable.

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And the rest of the crew installed the compressor thingamagig.

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Which is ugly as all get out but thankfully is on the one barn wall we can’t see from our house.

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I was glad to see they used great stuff. Because I’m sure awful stuff is more readily available, not to mention cheaper.

So…

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The big barn now has a heat pump. And future bar patrons can be assured of proper ambient drinking temperature.

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Cost of that free pool table so far?

$7,764. And no, he’s not done yet. The open stairwell still needs to be sealed off to prevent heat loss.

Free.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

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Just what we needed.

 

Into an already packed to capacity barn….

 

 

Came this:

 

 

A pool table that our  soon to be ex  friends couldn’t wait to get rid of.

 

 

Have you ever tried to lift a pool table?

 

 

If not, I don’t recommend it.

F*cker be heavy.

 

 

Our friends were so eager to see the back side of this thing they also gave us 2 little wheeled platforms to assist in it’s departure.

 

 

Which were great, until the table had to be picked up off of them.

 

 

So there it sits.

Now….and for the foreseeable future. ( Which should be read as forever, or until I can find some other unsuspecting friend to pass it off on )

It will sit there, a constant reminder of the fact that my husband can not pass up anything that is free.

Ever.

No matter how big and how useless.

But look….

 

 

It also came with a free stand, free cue sticks, ( Miller Lite? That abomination has got to go! ) free bags of balls and numerous free tacky game room signs.

 

 

What’s not love?

 

Surprise!

 

I got a few of them the other day.

 

 

One was how quickly the husband managed to junk up the few clear spaces of big barn floor we’d worked so hard to find.

 

 

After all these years it shouldn’t surprise me, but it did.

Here’s a new addition he must have smuggled in when I wasn’t looking.

 

 

The next surprise was how he expected me to help him clear floor space in there again because…. are you ready for it?

He was bringing home a pool table.

 

 

What?

Where!

And for the love of all that’s holy…. why?

Yes, a pool table.

Where? I have no idea. Because unless it measures 4×6 inches it’s not going to fit.

Why? Because his friend’s wife wanted it gone and it was free.

* Insert giant eye roll here*

So we tried to clear room…

 

 

But since the husband won’t part with anything? We just ended up with wider paths.

And if all that wasn’t bad enough….

The final surprise of the day came when he opened the big barn doors and found this:

 

 

See it?

 

 

A giant squirrel nest.

No more wondering where momma squirrel went.

That bitch has been busy.

 

 

You would not believe how much crap tumbled out of that small space.

 

 

And btw…. remember how I blamed the baby woodchucks for ripping the stuffing out of my porch furniture?

 

 

I was wrong.

 

 

There it was, providing fluffy bedding for the revolting red rodent and her brood.

I seriously hate that squirrel.