Tag Archives: drinking

It’s like they built this store just for me.

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Sometimes Facebook gets it right.

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Like this store… that seems to be targeted to my sense of humor.

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Not always, but maybe. Alright… more than likely it is.

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Sounds like something I would do.

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I have an abundant supply, no problem.

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I’m definitely not. Remind me to tell you the story about my husband’s friend who called him at work to tell him to ‘get his wife under control’. Ha! As if.

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That’s me.

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Someday I’m going to have to buy one of these. It’s my favorite tag line and I’ve been searching for cocktail napkins with that phrase ever since we built the man cave bar…. to no avail.

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Bizarre, but true.

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Because my blog is nothing if not educational.

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I shall never look at Peter Rabbit the same way again.

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Nope.

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I know you tried that, because I did as well. But the fact that it’s called a weenus? That’s the real headline.

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This is extremely good news… and may be cause for celebration. Cheers!

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Not being a mother, I admit this next one freaked me out a little.

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What! I’m getting tiny Sam Elliot and Wilford Brimley visuals here…

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May I just say… eww. Is the womb so cold a place every fetus has to don a fur coat they later consume? This falls under the category ‘I actually wish I didn’t know that.’

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I have never been to Disneyland. Point of fact? I never want to go to Disneyland. Alive… or dead. Though I’m sure it would probably be less annoying if I could haunt that obnoxious mouse ear wearing family from DuBuque.

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When everything that can go wrong…. does.

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We got a phone call telling us the leather chairs we’d ordered for the man cave were ready for pickup. Erring on the side of caution, I suggested we take the husband’s old truck in for a check up before making the long trip. In typical man fashion he thought this was a ridiculous idea, got aggravated with me for impugning the integrity of his baby and told me to schedule the furniture pick up for Friday.

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You knew where this was going…. right? The truck started sputtering and jerking when we hit I-95, an hour after we left home. I suggested we turn around and go back, but no. The husband had the bright idea to get off the highway and ride the back roads down to New Hampshire. This added at least 2 hours to our 2 1/2 trip. When we finally limped in to Nashua… which has awful stop and go traffic and endless traffic lights on the main drag… the truck was stalling every time it idled. I suggested we pull off the road, but no. The husband could literally see the warehouse where our chairs were patiently waiting. He didn’t pull over… so at the final red light? The truck died. Totally and completely died. Smoke pouring out from under the doors died. Yours truly had to jump out and help the husband push it off the busy road into a parking lot. With my bad knee. In case you were wondering…. pushing an 8 foot bed pickup is not on the approved radial meniscus tear exercise list. Ouch! We called AAA and were told due to a tow truck driver shortage it would be a 3 hour wait. Ever sit in a hot truck for 3 hours waiting on a tow? I don’t recommend it. At 4:30 that afternoon…

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The tow truck came, loaded our vehicle on the flat bed and promptly told us due to Covid restrictions we couldn’t ride back to Maine with him … and oh yeah, our coverage was only good for 100 miles. So they’d have to charge us $5 per mile for the overage.

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We paid, the truck went back to Maine…. and there was really only one thing left for us to do.

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I drank. I fumed. I ate southwestern egg rolls. I drank some more.

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There may have been eye rolling. (Who am I kidding, there was definitely eye rolling. )

And then I called a friend. A good friend who jumped in his brand new truck and drove over 2 hours to pick us… and our leather chairs … up. Good thing the warehouse was open until 8:00pm.

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We took him out for dinner and drinks. We filled his giant gas tank. I slipped $100 bill in his center console.

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We arrived home after midnight.

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Not the best time to move furniture, but when do we ever do anything the easy way?

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Did I mention the barn door (the free door my husband got at the dump) is a non standard size? The chairs got stuck 4 times. There may have been cursing, but at that point I was too tired to care.

We rolled in to bed about 1:30am…. and I thought the bad luck was over.

I was wrong.

To be continued….

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How odd.

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We had an odd sun reflection in our living room last week.

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Strange coincidence … or alien targeting technology?

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Time will tell.

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Martin, I immediately thought of you. But, blech! It’s still a giant no from where I’m sitting.

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A few of my friends might get this for Christmas. You know who you are… but what makes it odd is the label. ‘Nice Stuff For Mom’. I don’t know about you, but I never tipped back half a dozen martinis with my mother.

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And finally, anatomically correct beer glasses. While I can almost see the appeal of the female version…. the hourglass figure makes for a good grip… the male glass is more than a trifle disturbing.

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Random

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Remember when I posted about giving the husband some Red Sox memorabilia for his birthday?

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Here’s Lord Dudley Mountcatten sitting above the mint condition 1968 pennant. It arrived in a long padded box, wrapped in layers of wax paper, tissue paper and bubble wrap. It was cherry! Until Dudley pounced on it, ripping it in two places and punching a giant tooth hole in the tip. Sigh.

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Here he is eyeing the kinetic sculpture when my husband gave it an inaugural twirl.

Needless to say I put that out of reach shortly after.

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Cats, I love them… but it doesn’t mean they don’t drive me crazy.

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I got this announcement from WordPress the other day. And while I’m flattered they’re keeping track of my posts, I had to wonder at the random number. Is 1337 something to celebrate?

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I ordered this customized coffee mug for a friend and can’t wait to give it to her. ( our names are underneath the chairs but have been removed to protect the not so innocent ) That’s me on the left with the margarita and the figure I haven’t seen for 20 or so years. Hair, drinks, skin tone and shirt are customizable but they didn’t have an overweight and menopausal option, go figure.

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But I admit, it does describe our relationship perfectly.

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In other news…. I’m scheduled to receive my first Covid vaccine this morning. Maine has done a remarkable job with the roll out and I’m looking forward to being on the road to fully protected as well as doing my part to stop the spread of this horrible life altering virus.

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A recommendation pour vous.

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I don’t often recommend beer to friends because everyone tends to like something different. But once in a while I come across a special one that makes me so happy…. I have to share.

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This strange Belgian concoction has a delicious whiff on chocolate upon introduction…. and then sweeps you skyward in a heady sour cherry cloud.

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Pairs well with rich and dense desserts?

Then bring on the 12 pound chocolate fudge layer cake and River is one happy blogger.

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Seriously, if you like sours? You’ve got to try this one.

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Frank A. agrees.

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Pandemic humor.

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Because I’m still here and still trying to find the humor in it.

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I remember climbing over seats into the back of our station wagon and sticking my feet out the rear window while my parents barreled down the Jersey Turnpike to the shore. How the hell did any of us survive to adulthood?

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This is why we’re not traveling. People be morons.

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Now if someone could just tell me how I can apply Dizzy Izzy…. my life will be complete.

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Good grief, I hope not. That will seriously impede my martini consumption.

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So many glasses.

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When we travel and drink, the husband likes to get a glass from the bars and restaurants he’s enjoyed. Since we used to do this quite often… we’ve amassed a large collection of glasses. Some of them are in the house but most of them have migrated out to the barn. And though we’ve stuffed the freezer compartment of the beer fridge with frosty ready to fill receptacles….

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There was still a large portion waiting for a home.

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And a whole lotta paper destined for the fireplace.

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Sadly the husband’s aborted little two foot shelves don’t offer much useable space.

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And once the double tap kegerator is installed things will be even tighter.

Roy Scheider was right.

We should have built a bigger bar.

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Time Traveler Part 3

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Let’s word.

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My birth year seems to have been full of scientific additions that mean absolutely nothing to me.

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But dragon fruit? I had a martini made from those once and it was lovely.

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Elevator music? Great, the next time Barry Manilow comes on at the mall everyone will blame me.

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Fetal position? I’m ashamed to say I have assumed that after a night of too many martinis…. and it was far from lovely.

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Hotdog? Now that I think about it my mother always called them frankfurters. Maybe she was a Rocky Horror Picture Show fan after all.

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And finally Japanese quail, which now that I think about it…. looks a little bit like me after a years worth of non stop Covid lockdown cooking and eating.

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