Tag Archives: drinking

They’re not worthy.

 

Not worthy of a blog of their own, but random interesting stuff all the same.

(And by interesting, you know I mean not at all interesting… just random information you didn’t want nor need but I feel compelled to share anyway)

 

 

I read a lot…. and before now have never thought of myself as any of these.

But from now on?

I’m an ink drinker all the way.

 

 

Yes, I bought myself a frying pan that’s reinforced by diamonds.

Because my fried chicken deserves the very best.

 

 

My rose is blooming like a lolly pop.

 

 

Is this earth shattering news you can use?

No.

But nothing I say ever is.

 

 

This claims to be the perfect Cosmopolitan recipe.

I shall research it extensively and report back.

 

 

Sadly, we had to shop for 2 headstones for recently passed members of my husband’s family.

After we picked the size of the stone, and the color of the granite….this was what we were given. Sheets of paper with literally thousands of designs that were printed so small, even reading glasses and a magnifying glass barely helped us make them out.

I believe the husband chose a lighthouse for one…. but it could as easily have been a beer keg.

Time will tell.

 

 

Danger Will Robinson!

If you’ve never experienced a browntail moth rash you haven’t lived a full life. Imagine mixing poison ivy with fire ants and chicken pox…. and you might come close.

These little bastards have moved into Maine and are stripping our trees bare. And if you happen to brush up against one of them? Hang on, because you’ll attempt to rip the skin off your bones within 12 hours. Nothing stops the itch except a spray that comes in a one ounce bottle sold by one hospital in the state for $65 per. Insurance won’t cover it and you need a doctor’s prescription to purchase it.

I get the rash at least 3 times a year.

Good times.

And finally, if you’ve been wondering what people are doing to keep busy during the pandemic… or how they’re spending their stimulus money?

Wonder no longer.

 

Pandemic humor.

 

Because someone has to laugh, and it might as well be you.

 

 

Ya gotta love Madison Avenue….

Simple ads are always the best.

 

 

As was I.

So where is it?

 

 

I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I can see their point.

 

 

Well those don’t look at all bunion friendly.

 

 

Now why didn’t I think of that?

 

 

As good an explanation as any.

 

 

Because cleanliness is so important.

Pandemic humor.

 

Because you have to keep laughing.

 

 

That’s my plan.

If you have a better one, please share.

 

 

I wouldn’t doubt it at this point. Society does seem to be breaking down.

In Maine, a local reporter was interviewing random people last week, asking how they felt about the safety precautions … masks, social distancing, closures etc. When he asked a man who wasn’t wearing a mask… even though it was requested by the store and mandated by the town… the man spit on him.

That’s where we are.

So yeah… Godzilla really doesn’t seem too far fetched.

 

 

Dad jokes.

They’ll never die.

 

 

I hope so.

I certainly hope so.

Sunrise, pandemic rocks, great ideas and dirty birds.

 

A post of random trivial things that aren’t worthy of their own blog.

First, a sunrise photo a friend of mine took the other day.

 

IMG_3503

 

She lives on a lake…. and I have to say that looks like a pretty sweet way to wake up.

Rocks?

Don’t mind if I do.

The Covid 19 versions someone cleverly painted.

 

IMG_E3197

 

Brilliant ideas?

Yes, they’re still out there.

 

IMG_3468

 

See?

I found one.

These days social distancing is more important then ever….. so let’s commend those who go the extra mile.

 

IMG_3472 (2)

 

What?

She doesn’t know where that bird has been.

 

 

 

 

Pandemic humor.

 

Because we all still need a laugh.

 

IMG_3361

 

Now that’s just rude.

 

IMG_3135

 

This looks like a great idea since I always whup the husband at gin rummy and he won’t play with me anymore.

*Note to self – borrow neighbor’s rooster*

 

IMG_3081

 

I really do miss traveling.

Even if it’s just to the next town.

 

IMG_3100

 

Indeed.

 

IMG_3142

 

Yeah.

Gwyneth  (correct spelling)  can bite me.

( Did I already post this one? Maybe… but the sentiment holds true. )

 

IMG_3136

 

Cats.

They think they know everything. It happens to be tequila.

Stuff it Mittens.

 

IMG_3080

 

Jesus… neither do I!

We’re doomed.

 

 

Things that make me say WTH?

 

Stupid products….

Keeping the American economy strong for decades.

 

IMG_2956

The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…

 

IMG_2955

 

Most important meal of the day? Maybe.

But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.

So no cereal sippy cups for us.

 

IMG_2960

 

Toaster bags.

 

IMG_2959

 

Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?

I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.

 

IMG_2961

 

No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.

 

IMG_2961 (2)

Pooch Selfies.

Kill me now.

 

IMG_2964

 

Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.

 

IMG_2958

 

And while this may look a little odd?

 

IMG_2957

 

The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.

But this?

 

IMG_2962

 

This is a bridge too far.

 

IMG_2963 (2)

 

No.

Just… no.

 

IMG_2963

 

I don’t know about you?

But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did you know….

 

There’s a school in Reykjavik, Iceland that teaches you how to spot elves?

I did, because….

 

GUEST_093223f4-e3c8-4e44-a847-a9c0c2030952

 

Yes, you can enroll  here  and start learning all there is to know about trolls, fairies, gnomes and other assorted mythical creatures.

 
Admit it.
You want to go.

Did you know...

The tongues of flamingos were a common delicacy at ancient Rome feasts?

 

text-bitch-please-we-are-fabulous

 

Apparently Nero thought so as well.

 

Did you know.

The word misteltoe derives from the Anglo-Saxon words mistel and tan?

Mistel means dung…. and tan means twig. So the next time you steal a kiss at Christmas? You’ll be doing it under a dung twig.

Can’t get much more romantic than that.

 

 

292238-What-Happens-Under-The-Mistletoe-Stays-Under-The-Mistletoe

 

 

Did you know….

The band Steely Dan got it’s name from a William Bourroughs book called Naked Lunch.

Steely Dan III was a strap on dildo.

 

unnamed

 

 

Which gives an entirely new meaning to this meme.

 

(Yes, all the above statements are true.

Knowledge is a wonderful thing!)