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Because I have written proof some of you love these.
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I could say he left the top off the toothpaste or the toilet seat up, but that seems like an extreme reaction for such a small infraction.
Think I’ll go with one that’s bound to get him tossed to the curb, never mind his clothes ….
“He told me this dress does make my butt look big.”
So what do you think he did?
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Because we can all use a little levity.
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Living in the country probably gives me the advantage here, but you never know… some of you have backyard alligators and I can’t top that.
My list of chasers;
A chicken. Don’t laugh, they’re quick and vengeful little buggers.
A billy goat. I barely escaped with my posterior intact… although now that I think of it, a little less of that wouldn’t be a bad thing.
A skunk. Thankfully they don’t have very good eyesight … I lost him behind a shrub.
A mockingbird. Never underestimate the ferocity of this bird. He used to dive bomb our poor cat on a daily basis.
A snapping turtle. Granted I didn’t have to run very fast with this one, but those jaws can snap your finger like a twig.
A bat. Was he actually chasing me? I don’t know, but he was trapped in our house and I didn’t take the time to find out.
And finally, an elk who chased me around our car. I was photographing a herd in the Smoky Mountain National Park from a far off, safe distance when a lone female came up from behind and let her displeasure be known.
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I don’t recommend that experience.
😳
So how about it? Who’s been chasing you….
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Because it appears I’m never going to run out of these.
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Here are mine:
Literally.
People say literally when they mean figuratively and it drives me nuts. “ It’s so hot I am literally on fire.” Unless I see flames shooting out of a body cavity? You meant figuratively.
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I could care less.
Could you? Then that means you cared in the first place. The proper phrasing is ‘I couldn’t care less’, please use it.
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Must not have been very important.
This one dates back to my childhood. Whenever I would forget something I wanted to tell my mother she would smugly utter those words and I always wanted to scream, “Now I remember! The kitchen is on fire.”
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So how about you? What words or phrases drive you nuts….
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Stop groaning, just do it.
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I should have known nothing good would come from eating healthy! The 10th picture in my gallery is a screen shot of a popsicle alternative recipe.
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I haven’t tried it yet, and now I’m not sure I should.
So…. what’s going to do you in?
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Black Bacon.
Now that’s a kick ass band name if ever I heard one.
How about you?
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You know I enjoy these things.
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New Year’s resolutions. Everyone makes them, no one keeps them.
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I don’t know about you, but I could definitely use a better year.
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Her phone knows her too well.
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Finally, a resolution worth keeping.
And lastly, there’s mine.
A resolution from my much loved and loyal iPhone.
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Well, damn.
I wasn’t expecting that.
😳
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Because you’re currently scrolling a blog site. What else have you got to do?
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My answers were no where near as good as these, so I’ll just share..
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I’ve never understood spider hysteria. I find them to be fascinating, helpful creatures.
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Preach, brother. Preach!
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Yikes!
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I completely suck at Jenga. In any form…
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This one should be fun.
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For me it’s an easy choice. The Poconos.
We’d never been… and though we’re long past the heart shaped red velvet mirrored honeymoon beds the area is known for, 6 years ago we decided to take off for the mountains and spend Christmas there.
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I booked a week at an amazing place, full of atmosphere. ( Think the Overlook Hotel in Stephen King’s The Shining, minus Jack, his ax and the twins )
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It was old, built of stone, and so huge I couldn’t get a photo of it in one shot.
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It was an old resort like you see in the movie Dirty Dancing. Rich people would escape summer in the city and live here for months. It had multiple dining facilities, a spa, a theater, game rooms, multiple bars, a library, a stable and even its own post office… complete with a personal hotel zip code.
The best (read weird) part? We had the entire place to ourselves.
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I’m not kidding, we were there for a week and didn’t see another guest until Christmas Day. Talk about eerie.
And while the interior of this grand old dame was impressive…
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It was beyond strange being the only inhabitants.
Have you ever eaten dinner by yourself in a dining room that seats 400?
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Or breakfast in a room that seats 300?
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Trust me, it’s a little creepy.
Thankfully we weren’t murdered in our bed, but in retrospect the odd accommodations turned out to be the highlight of the trip.
For a full week we toured the area and never found anything the least bit scenic. Rows of strip malls, trash lined roads and extremely tacky “family fun resorts”?
There were plenty of those. And in true “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em… we’re going to have a good time if it kills us” fashion… we bar hopped every tacky resort we could find.
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Indoor purple waterfall?
Check!
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Bizarre robotic decorative Santas?
Check!
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Elephant driven sleighs at an African themed resort called Kalahari?
Check!
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Giant topiary squirrels?
Yeah, those too.
And while the husband and I manage to have a good time wherever we go?
The Poconos are definitely at the top of our been there, done that, don’t need to do it again list.
So how about you? To what place are you never returning…
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Stop grumbling. I know you like these things ….
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I am in Deaf Smith County Texas. The hill country… which I’m assured can be quite beautiful.
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And while I love James Lee Burke’s Louisiana detective Robicheaux series, the Texas Billy Bob Holland series doesn’t quite measure up for me.
And considering their political climate of restricting voting rights and a woman’s right to chose?
Texas is probably not the best place for me to wake up right now.
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You were hoping I would run out of these? No such luck…
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I’ll start –
Baby can I put my hair in your mouth?
Mildly disturbing… but not that funny. I’ll try again.
Baby can I put my baby in your car?
Even less funny. One more time –
Baby can I put my flowers in your closet?
Alright, my predictive text is predictably boring.
Your turn!
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River's world..... 