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Because you’re currently scrolling a blog site. What else have you got to do?
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My answers were no where near as good as these, so I’ll just share..
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I’ve never understood spider hysteria. I find them to be fascinating, helpful creatures.
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Preach, brother. Preach!
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Yikes!
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I completely suck at Jenga. In any form…
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There’s nothing I like more than having friends over for dinner and drinks and games.
That hasn’t happened for quite some time, because, ya know…. global plague. But it hasn’t stopped me from finding fun things in anticipation of normalcy’s return.
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House of Carbs?
It’s like they know me already.
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Nine drunk bitches?
Damn, I need to check for hidden cameras.
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Fifty shades of gravy?
That describes my Covid lockdown protocol to a T.
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Ever wonder what you’d look like as a 3D cartoon?
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Apparently I look 10 years old.
And as a caricature?
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Oy vey! I’m Jewish.
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Meet Viola AI, the new app that transforms your face.
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And a great way to waste time when you’re babysitting a friend’s 6 year old.
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Yes, I’ve heard about the possible face recognition hacking … but I don’t use that feature on my phone. And if they want to steal my picture it’s nothing they couldn’t already do by cruising Facebook or this blog.
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So don’t kvetch about this mishegas….. it’s just innocent fun.
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Our farming neighbors across the street are awesome people. Honest, hard working, nature loving, alternative lifestyle vegetarians who raise their kids the old fashioned way… no tv, no cell phones, just plenty of love and imagination. As witnessed by this letter and treasure map they mailed to the two little boys who live down the road.
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Now how fun is that?
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Maine people have always known how to work around the weather. And though this winter has been mild compared to previous years, Covid restrictions have required businesses to use their imaginations like never before.
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Pineland Farms started life as a state run institution for the “idiotic and feeble minded” in 1907. Many horror stories floated out of those buildings, some from my cousin who worked there with mentally handicapped children in the late 70’s. It was closed in 1996 due to scandal and rumors of unsatisfactory care and has since undergone an amazing transformation.
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Nature trails, event weddings, a farm cooperative and store. They sell the beef they raise and the produce they grow. They make wonderful cheese and have a tasty little restaurant.
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But now?
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They have life sized snow globes as well.
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What’s not to love?
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We all have them. That special group of friends you’ve known for years but don’t like to advertise. You can’t invite them out to dinner with your crew, and you won’t bring them to the cocktail party at work. But thanks to me? You could ask them to your house to play a game right up their alley.
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So they’re not the brightest bulbs in the pack?
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No problem.
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This is a game that won’t embarrass the less than erudite among us.
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And they get to hit people with a club!
You know they’re going to love it.
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Neanderthals.
Admit it, you know a few.
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But I know you do.
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Admit it, we’ve all wanted to feel a little warmer and cheesier this year.
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This gives a whole new meaning to the word shortcake.
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Skin as soft and supple as a nice juicy brain? What woman doesn’t dream of that!
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I have to admit this one might have validity. We live next to a horse farm and see our fair share of flies. A real life arcade game with salt bullets… hmm.
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Because my knee still hurts and I’m bored.
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Mine are as follows:
🍸 🙄 😉 🍷 😳 😈
It shouldn’t surprise anyone that martini holds the top spot, with eye roll right behind.
That’s where I live.
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I went out to lunch in South Portland a month or so ago and drove by this:
Yes.
You read that correctly.
There’s a place where you can be socially active by throwing an axe.
Though I’m guessing not at each other…. because that would dramatically cut down on the social part.
Think I’m kidding?
There’s even a league.
Which leads me to wonder if there’s another league for suburban axe throwing.
If so, I know a few soccer moms who would excel.
Also unbeknownst to me, there are a slew of videos that can teach you the finer points of the sport.
So if you’re looking for a new hobby?
Remember…. you saw it here first.
We hadn’t been to the Topsham Fair in years, and after going the other day I remembered why.
Maine has some fabulous county fairs….. but this isn’t one of them.
With a $12 charge per person to get in? There should have been more… everything.
We started with the livestock, because I do love me some critters.
I got up close and personal with sheep….
While the husband chatted up a cow.
This cow was lying down.
As was her owner…
And it took all my willpower not to yell at him to drop his phone and learn how to spell her name properly.
Sorry El….
This cow had a little speck of something on her nose…
Which proved to be no problem.
Yes, that’s her tongue. And she knew how to use it.
Did you know…
Cows can’t vomit?
I live to enlighten.
We saw ox, and horses.
Some huge.
Some small.
We saw pigs…
With lots of baby pigs…
And goats..
With some pretty big…
Sorry…. but holy crap!
How do you walk with balls that big?
We strolled around looking for the chicken barn….
Only to discover there wasn’t one.
Very disappointing.
And then we walked past the “Decorate a Bale of Hay” contest.
Which… yeah.
Was a bit odd.
I temporarily lost the husband to some old rusty crap.
And found him checking out some sweet old vehicles for sale.
We meandered through the collection of carriages and sleighs which we always love…
And found a cannon…
With a strategically placed ball.
In a sack.
Tell me someone doesn’t have a sense of humor….
We made the obligatory walk through the exhibition hall.
But the Blue Ribbon rhubarb failed to thrill.
And aside from the carnival rides we didn’t ride and the roach coach junk food that we didn’t eat, that was it….
Until I spotted George.
And fell in love.
I mean… look at him!
George is an Emu.
Homely…
Humble..
And despite the prehistoric raptor like gaze, quite friendly.
Here’s some riveting video of him drinking water.
And a little something closer up.
He’s over 6 foot tall, with coarse dense feathers.
Yes, we bonded…. and I petted him.
Totally worth the $12 admission price.
River's world..... 