Tag Archives: humor

Uncategorized

What fresh (ditch) hell is this?

24 Comments

.

Our ditch is the gift that keeps on giving.

Or more accurately, the nightmare that never ends at this point.

It’s also why after my husband complained yet again to DOT, we woke up to this the other morning.

.

.

A crew of workers with multiple pieces of heavy machinery …

.

.

Spreading a line of dirt right next to the road.

.

.

Which in theory sounded good.

.

.

But in actuality will make no difference or help the original erosion problem.

.

.

Because after sweeping it…

.

.

The packer didn’t pack it.

.

.

But road his little machine on the very edge of the road never compacting or even touching the dirt.

.

.

WTH?

.

.

We’d just started to see some grass grow on the sides which we were hoping would keep the erosion to a minimum…. and now there’s more unpacked dirt to wash away.

Where’s the logic in this?

Where….

🥴

.

Uncategorized

Fryeburg Fair, part six… husband heaven.

15 Comments

.

What is it with men and motors?

For my husband the older the better, so he was fascinated to see these vintage ( read, old as dirt) machines up and running.

.

.

His favorite?

The double log splitter.

.

.

I swear he could have stood there all day and listened to it belch purr.

.

.

Ditto the corn sprayer…

.

.

And the shingle cutter.

.

.

Machine or no, that’s a lot of work.

.

.

He also got a large kick out of this relic on the right.

.

.

An early self propelled lawn mower. Christ, it would have to be… it probably weighed 300 lbs.

.

Uncategorized

Fryeburg Fair, part five… the husband’s favorite section.

24 Comments

.

While I love seeing the animals at a fair, my husband prefers the old and rusty things in the village of yesteryear.

.

.

Some interest him from an engineering stand point, some remind him of his childhood on the farm.

.

.

Yes, he spread his share of manure when he was a boy.

Good times.

.

.

There’s a wonderful museum at the Fryeburg Fair filled with antiques. The old wall phone I want to put in the man cave, the one that I’ve been endlessly searching for was right there in the middle… in perfect shape and mocking me with its unavailability.

.

.

Husband got a kick out of these old washing machines.

.

.

This one was called Easy and never has a product been more egregiously misnamed.

.

.

The husband, pointing out all the rusty crap he has at home.

.

.

I can’t imagine dragging this behemoth around every time I wanted to take a picture.

.

.

And because no post about old tools is complete without a game of Name That Crap..

.

.

What is it?

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

14 Comments

.

Someday… someone will be able to use it and I’ll have to stop posting these.

But it won’t be today.

.

.

I don’t pay extra for Apple news so I couldn’t read this article. Which is a shame because it sounds like a grand idea.

Not.

.

.

I do love a bargain.

.

.

$100 to $10 million? That was a good investment…

.

.

I didn’t know this existed, but I also didn’t explore the topic further.

.

.

I haven’t been to a Jack in the Box since I was a child, but I don’t remember their fries being that good.

.

.

My question to this type of thing is always.. why?

Just because they can isn’t a good enough reason .

.

Uncategorized

Fryeburg Fair, part four… disappointing dough and a show.

19 Comments

.

I’m pleased to report the giant lemon lemonade stand was operational at the Fryeburg Fair …

.

.

And though it cost a ridiculous $8 per ice laden glass, I purchased one…

.

.

To accompany the husband’s three $10 chicken fingers and $5 bottle of water. $23 for what amounted to a nibble. Welcome to the price gouging, we know you have no alternative, fair food concession stands.

Trying to make up for it, I made a beeline for my favorite fair treat…

.

.

Which sadly was an undercooked, under spiced disappointing piece of fried dough. Boo to that.

I ate said disappointing dough in the grandstand of the pulling ring where the husband likes to watch the draft horses. I don’t enjoy this spectacle as I always feel sorry for the animals. The teams of three are expected to pull double their weight which can end up being 10,000 lbs, and while I know they’re bred and trained for this exact purpose… it still makes me cringe on their behalf.

I did however smile at this happy fellow who started the show in true Fenway Park 7th inning stretch fashion.

.

.

If you’re not a Red Sox fan?

Never mind.

.

.

This team was amazing. Perfectly matched and working completely in unison.

.

.

I may not like it…

.

.

But it’s hard not to be impressed with the strength of these magnificent creatures.

.

Uncategorized

Miscellaneous pumpkin and pickle missives.

14 Comments

.

It’s fall… and in New England that means cooler temperatures, turning leaves and pumpkins.

And no town takes pumpkins more seriously than Damariscotta, a coastal village that devotes an entire week of events to the glorious orange gourd. There are parades, size contests, art contests, races, recipe challenges and even a regatta of giant floaters.

They like their pumpkins.

.

.

Every year we say we’re going to visit, and every year we don’t for some reason or another.

.

.

Which is a shame because this year my favorite bar in town has the best decorated pumpkin I’ve seen in a long time.

.

.

Imagine having a few too many and stumbling outside to come face to face with this guy.

😊

And speaking of bars…

.

.

A seasonal margarita that sounds damn near perfect for this time of year.

Moving on, I have a bone to pick with a few of my readers. You were joking about emotional support pickles for cats on my post the other day and while I tried to discourage the topic in fear of pickle retribution from my squirrelly algorithms… the concept has become reality.

.

.

Damn you.

.

.

Lord Dudley Mountcatten has his mice.

No kitty support pickles will ever be entering this house.

🥴

.

Uncategorized

Fryeburg Fair, part three… where I’m in cow heaven.

13 Comments

.

Every agricultural fair in Maine has a few cows, but the Fryeburg Fair has multiple barns devoted to multiple breeds, varieties, colors and sizes.

For a cow lover like me, it’s blissful bovine heaven.

.

.

Look at that beauty!

.

.

Beef cows, dairy cows…

.

.

Large cows that pull things…

.

.

Gentle cows who enjoy a scratch.

.

.

Seriously big ass impressive cows…

.

.

Sweet baby cows.

.

.

There’s even a barn filled with Oreo cookie cows.

.

.

Cows!

.

.

I not so subtly pointed out there were even cows for sale to my husband….

But the man kept right on walking.

😉

.

Uncategorized

Let’s play.

28 Comments

.

Because it hurts less than having a tooth pulled.

.

.

For long distances I’m going with plane.

.

.

Even though air travel isn’t half as much fun as it used to be.

.

.

It’s odd how much I miss those rubber chicken dinners now that all you get is a packet of dry as toast cookies.

.

.

But while the views out the window can be spectacular, I do prefer driving when it comes to setting your own schedule and stopping at will for local points of interest. Some of the best things we’ve found and seen have been well off the beaten path.

Cruise ships? Never. Floating germ factories crammed full of people with whom I don’t want to converse no less vacation.

Trains? Like them for day trips but no cramped overnight bunks and minuscule bathrooms for this chicka.

How about you?

What’s your preferred method of travel…

Uncategorized

Does anyone really need a pen that farts?

17 Comments

.

Stupid products are everywhere. And while I often wonder who buys these ridiculous things, someone must because I keep seeing them.

.

.

Oh, you thought I was kidding about the farting pen?

Sorry to say, I wasn’t.

.

.

Do women actually want to have mermaid tails?

.

.

A girlfriend made me read Fifty Shades of Grey, it was so bad… I couldn’t.

I’m sure this version is better.

.

.

Okay, no one needs this.

Ever.

.

.

I’m sorry, but why is this necessary?

I don’t drink wine in the bathroom, but if I did I’d just put it on the sink… next to my toothbrush like a normal alcoholic.

.

.

They’ve got me here.

That might actually come in hand-y.

😉

.

Uncategorized

Fryeburg Fair, part two….what we didn’t see and why.

33 Comments

.

Before I get down and dirty with all the things we saw at the Fryeburg Fair let me point out a few things we didn’t see.

We didn’t see the agricultural expo or the natural resources building ….

.

.

Because my husband met a man who knew our farming neighbor and had to talk to him for 37 minutes.

We didn’t see the craft show or tour the fiber arts building…

.

.

Because my husband struck up a 24 minute conversation with this nice volunteer who was rebuilding the motor on a vintage harrow.

And we didn’t see the rabbits, goats, llamas or chickens….

.

.

Because my husband met a fellow Marine who was stationed in Beirut, Lebanon during the same awful time. It was the ‘83 bombing that killed 241 servicemen, the largest loss of Marines in a single day since the Battle of Iwo Jima. This was a sad conversation and one I didn’t interrupt… but still.

You know my husband, it wasn’t brief.

🥴

.