Tag Archives: reading

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Rutting elk, tipsy mothers and my thighs.

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I just finished another book by Mary Roach… but instead of her usual quirky and irreverent devotion to one particular subject, this time she’s sharing a collection of quick stories covering a myriad of topics.

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Still quirky, still irreverent… and because they made me chortle?

I’m sharing.

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Being a menopausal woman of… ahem, a certain age…. I can totally relate to this. My thighs haven’t been there for me for years, the bastards.

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When my mother had too much sherry she called my father Pork. That may sound dirty, but they used to collect beautiful little pigs made from precious stones and gems so it was actually a term of endearment.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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Been there, heard those rules.

Damn those elk.

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Packing For Mars… part four.

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Before humans went to space, there were chimps. And not all of them were lovable.

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With a name like Enos, it was inevitable.

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Naked space travel. Who knew?

And if that’s not enough of a mental image for you, here’s a paragraph about the horrors of elimination while floating above our planet.

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The fact that there are slews of researchers and scientists being paid the big bucks to design high tech Pampers makes me chortle.

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No gravity means no showers. That would be it for me.. sayonara NASA.

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Nope. No way. Not this chick.

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🤣

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Packing For Mars… part three.

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Are you ready to be blown away by the physiological changes of space travel?

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Free floating organs is a disturbing enough thought… but I haven’t had a uterus since my hysterectomy in 2015, so what’s my colon kicking back on now?

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No wrinkles, smaller waist and the ability to jettison my bra? Sign me up.

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Veins in the leg muscles normally constrict when we stand, to help keep blood from pooling in our feet. After weeks without gravity, this feature stops bothering to work. Compounding the problem is the fact that the body’s blood volume sensors are in the upper half of the body. Where, without gravity, more of the body’s blood tends to pool; the sensors mis-
interpret this as a surplus of blood, and word goes out to cut back on production. Astronauts in space make do with 10 to 15 percent less blood than they have on Earth. The combination of low blood
volume and lazy veins makes astronauts lightheaded when they return to gravity after a long stay in space. It’s called orthostatic hypotension, and it can be embarrassing. Astronauts have been known to faint during postmission press conferences.

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These are the types of things I never thought about in connection with astronauts. Clearly the human body is not meant to be without gravity.

Another thing I never thought about?

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But now I can’t think of anything else.

🤣

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Packing For Mars…. part two.

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Until I read this book I never gave much thought to inhaling space vomit, but trust me… NASA has.

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On that happy note much research has gone into vomit training and simulation.

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I’ve never eaten Progresso vegetable soup, and now? I’m quite sure I never will.

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There’s a job for which you will never see me volunteer.

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Since motion sickness is a natural response to a novel or sensorially perplexing motion or gravitational environment, astronauts have to go through it all over again when they return to Earth after a long mission. During the weeks or months of no gravity, their brains have been interpreting all otolith cues as acceleration in one direction or another. So when they move their head, their brain
tells them they’re moving.

Astronaut Peggy Whitson described her first moments on Earth after coming back from 191 days on the International Space Station like this: “I stood up and the world was going around me at 17,500 miles per hour, as opposed to me going around the world at 17,500 miles per hour.” It’s called land-
ing vertigo, or Earth sickness.

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How bizarre is that?

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Avoid turkey vultures at all costs.

Got it!

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It’s that time again..

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Yes, I’ve found another one of those quirky Mary Roach books to share with you. This time… we’re going to space.

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If you missed the last few books I shared, you should know Mary’s research tends to go a little beyond the norm and there will be some colorful as well as uncomfortable subjects discussed in future posts.

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“Early in my research, I came across a moment-
forty minutes into the eighty-eighth hour of Gemini VII-which, for me, sums up the astronaut experience and why it fascinates me. Astronaut Jim Lovell is telling Mission Control about an image he has cap-
tured on film.
“a beautiful shot of a full Moon against the black
sky and the strato formations of the clouds of the earth below.” reads the mission transcript. After a momentary silence, Lovell’s crewmate Frank Borman presses the TALK button.
“Norman’s dumping urine. Urine [in] approximately one minute.”
Two lines further along, we see Lovell saying, “What a sight to behold!” We don’t know what he’s referring to, but there’s a good chance it’s not the moon. According to more than one astronaut memoir, one of the most beautiful sights in space is that of a
sun-illumined flurry of flash-frozen waste-water droplets. Space doesn’t just encompass the sublime and the ridiculous. It erases the line between.”

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Sun struck frozen pee.

And we’re off!

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For all the excitement of preparation and training, I can imagine there would also be a lot of mind numbing down time.

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Butt lubrication is probably not highlighted in the NASA press pamphlet.

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The lunar two step?

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Want to test how astronauts react to stress? No toilet would definitely do it.

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Grunt.. part 6.

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How low can you go? Let’s find out…

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I’ve slept in a few odd places in my day, but this guy wins hands down.

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Snuggled in between the nukes? Not my definition of comfy cozy.

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From ten hours and a nap… to four? That can’t be healthy.

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When it comes to nuclear weapons, I’d prefer the handlers be well rested and a bit more alert thank you.

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Caffeinated jerky? Quick, share it with the submariners.

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Grunt… part 5.

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And we’re back.

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I don’t know, from the look of that picture? I think I’d rather drown.

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Anyone who has served in the military or been in close proximity to those who do… knows what bug juice is. The fact that it was used in a toilet is not a surprise.

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His brain literally exploded. That’s mind blowing…

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Aren’t you glad you follow my blog?

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Clue me in here. I’ve been around servicemen for the past 40 years or so and have yet to see pigs or chickens tattooed on their feet. Point of fact… it’s bad luck to even say the word pig on a lobster boat. Seriously, the old school fisherman will light you up for that.

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News you can’t use.

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And if you can use it? I’m sorry.

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I haven’t read it, nor do I have any intention of reading it, but damn. That doesn’t sound pleasant.

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Duly noted.

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I never understand people who linger there to read or play with their devices. I adore reading… but there are more comfortable seats in the house.

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That was one busy trio.

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Yes, you read that correctly.

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I’m proud to say my liquor consumption did not waver during the pandemic… and rest assured, I continue to do my part to shore up America’s potent potable economy.

😉

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Grunt… part 3.

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Did I mention I was surprised at the amount of space devoted to penile combat injuries in this book ?

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It definitely wasn’t what I expected…

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Though I admit I now know more about the subject than I probably need to.

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Ditto that for Liquid Ass.

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No, this book wasn’t at all what I expected and as I read on? It kept going downhill…

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Forget nuclear weapons and terrorism, it’s the unruly digestive tract that will be the death of us.

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When they said war is Hell? That’s what they meant…

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Baby wipes? Sailors are such delicate creatures…

😉

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Grunt… part two.

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Mary Roach’s books are always interesting and bizarre, but above all? They’re educational. For instance I now know more about military penile injuries than I ever thought possible… and to be honest, more than I ever thought I’d need.

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Buckle up boys, it’s about to get personal.

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Men. It’s all about priorities.

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One should always be polite when referencing another man’s dick.

( Funny side note- spellcheck changed dick to duck three times. I suppose either one works )

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Transgender community to the rescue. Paving the way to dick reconstruction for decades. Huzzah!

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That last sentence will be giving me bad dreams for months to come. No pun intended.

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All joking aside, it’s a serious and very sad reality for soldiers facing today’s modern warfare. IEDs cause long lasting trauma, both physically and emotionally. The military can’t keep up.

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