Tag Archives: wordpress

Streaking.

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This popped up on my notification page the other day.

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And knowing no one wants to see me run across a field naked, I figured there must be another explanation.

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Okay then.

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Thank you. I shall try to keep the inane drivel that is my blog consistently flowing.

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Yeah, I post too often. Message received.

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Seriously?

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I think once every 500 posts would be sufficient.

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Really not necessary guys.

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Can you spell overkill…

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Enough already!

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Will the real bot please stand up…

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*Title is an archaic reference to a classic game show. Kudos if you know which one.*

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Oh, be quiet.

The point of this blog? WordPress followers. I know most of you probably don’t pay attention to your list, but I do and conduct daily removals of all businesses and bots. I don’t need car insurance, yoga pants, a kale soufflé recipe or a 5 step program to be a better me. This me is as good a me as I’m ever going to get. Someday someone will explain to me why so many of these people/machines feel the need to follow me over and over again.

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Dairy products? Perhaps she/it wants to hug a cow…

Furniture? Clearly someone/thing enjoyed my leather chair shopping saga.

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Same face, three different names and sites. Zap. Zap. Zap.

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And back she/it comes. No matter how many times I delete…

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The next day they’re back.

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So here’s my question.

What are they getting out of this? And why can’t they take the hint?

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Nice try with the alcohol Paula. At least you’re getting to know me better.

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Bastards!

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I, along with what is probably half of the WordPress blogging population, despise the new block editor.

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I refuse to use it and have happily switched back to classic every time I compose posts on my phone.

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On the app, it’s one easy click and bam! Back to the simple, no frills way to post I’ve enjoyed since the day I got here. And then it happened. While fritzing around on my phone and seeing 11 of my apps needed updating today…. I scrolled down to WP.

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Noooo! The WordPress team assured me I could keep my beloved classic if I chose… and now I feel betrayed. Needless to say I didn’t update the app, which may forestall the inevitable. But for someone like me who has photo heavy blogs and doesn’t want all the added headaches of blocks, this is a nightmare.

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I’m not! No matter how many times you try to shove them down my throat. And hey, if you like and want the new editor? Fine. Enjoy it with my compliments… but why can’t they leave the old option open for those of us who don’t? Happiness Engineers my ass.

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Yay me…?

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A blogging milestone was reached by yours truly recently.

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Although I’m not sure recognition was necessary.

Now if they had a banner that said, Congratulations on posting copious amounts of useless drivel people inexplicably continue to read I could understand it.

I mean really, celebrating this post –

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Where I wax poetic about meatless meat and utterly wrong rice seems a trifle excessive.

But who am I to argue with the WordPress gods?

I’ve been here since July of 2018 and have thoroughly enjoyed the experience. If the powers that be choose to recognize my productivity? Who am I to argue.

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Yup. That’s me.

If you can’t dazzle them with content, flood them with redundancy.

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They just don’t take the hint.

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Every single day I zap them.

And every single day they come back.

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I zap business blogs and blogs that don’t exist. I zap bot blogs and blogs that have 100 posts with no comments or likes.

I don’t need inflated follower stats and have no idea why these people, or machines, keep following me.

Can’t they take the hint?

They follow, I zap. Every day. Twice a day. Ad infinitum.

Give it up Car Kudu. Admit defeat Laundry Tips.

You won’t win.

I can out stubborn you…. just ask my husband.

Oh FFS.

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My hatred for the new editor abated slightly when I played with it on my computer the other day.

I scheduled some critter posts filled with pictures and thought alright, I don’t love it… but I can pull up my big girl panties and deal.

Until I tried to edit one of them on my phone today.

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What?

The picture was there in the scroll….

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But when I opened the post it basically said F you.

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Yeah.

so I’m back to hating it again.

I suppose it was inevitable.

My site has finally been flipped to the horrid new block editor.

So far, I’m not impressed.

And while I don’t rail at change in other areas of my life,  not having to think about formatting a blog has always been pleasant…. until now. I switched back to classic, but it still doesn’t let me space the way I want.

So does anyone like this new format?

Sing its praises and regale me with its infinite wonders if you do.

Because right now?

This is me:

Lead, follow or….. well, you know the drill.

 

I think we’ve had this conversation before, but if you’re a business…. hawking vitamins, web design, crptyocurrency, pet meds and/or ways to increase my readership…. I will drop your follow-ship like a hot rock.

 

338qrh

 

I don’t need an inflated follower count and am perfectly happy with old fashioned bloggers who rather read and interact than sell me something.

So, yay me.

 

IMG_2976

 

I’ve been zapping people left and right lately, and I’m sorry…..

 

IMG_2975

 

But sex young girls love you can find here?

You didn’t make the cut.

 

images

 

No, not really.

InTheNameOfSeitan gave me pause…..

 

Untitled

 

Until I learned Seitan just means wheat gluten.

Phew!

That could have gone bad quickly.

The internet is a funny old thing….

 

I had to laugh yesterday when I checked my stat page and saw that something called The Cape Cod Daily News was listed as a referrer.

Since we just got back from a trip to the Cape,  (and yes, we tend to be talkers and meet a lot of people)  I was wondering which one had found me.

Not to mention how.

Because while I am a girl, it may surprise you to learn that my real name is not actually River.

 

2cbtkg

 

Shocking, I know.

And it’s not like I start conversations with strange people by saying, “You really should check out my blog at WordPress. There’s plenty of woodchuck drivel for everyone.”

So I perused the Cape Cod Daily News site and found this:

 

 

news

 

 

I had tagged Cape Cod, so they included my post.

this post

Now I can only imagine the reaction of the poor native Cape Codders who clicked on it and found me channeling Khaled. That couldn’t have been pleasant.

And while I won’t tag Cape Cod this time… because let’s face it, I’m basically making fun of what they consider news…. the coastal cities residents are going to rue the day when Cape Cod Daily puts that action to work when I start my latest vacation series photo blitz.

There’s bound to be rocks.

Won’t they be thrilled?

http://capecoddaily.com/

Scrambling…

 

 

 

No, not eggs.

Vacations.

You see, for the entire year my husband has been saying he’s going to retire in December. He also forbade me to book any vacations because he works for the Federal Government and can sell back his leave when he goes.

(He gets 5 weeks off every year, so the payout can be substantial.)

 

 

Except now that the day is rapidly approaching, he decided he’s going to work a little longer.

Yes, his reasoning is sound.

 

  1. The old boss he hated has left and been replaced with a laid back, drama free manager.
  2. Starting next year, they’re going to push teleworking from home 2-3 days a week…. and since he already works four 10 hour days, it will probably be a 1 day a week commute.
  3. Good benefits.
  4. Good pay.
  5. The ability to dump more in our TSP (Thrift Savings Plan, the government’s answer to a company matching IRA).

 

I get it.

I do…

But our retirement plan was to travel, and I’d like him to be semi-mobile and breathing without a respirator when we do. (Hauling a corpse in and out of resort elevators is such a drag.)

 

Zombie-nuts

 

But back to the scrambling….

It’s almost the end of the year and I don’t have much time to plan and book 5 weeks worth of vacations before time runs out. It’s not easy with the holidays right around the corner. We have a timeshare on a points system and can go anywhere, but since he’s waited so long to request time off, he can’t get more than a week at a time…. which leaves out long distance trips. I hate spending 2 days flying back and forth for only 4 days on site. With the price of tickets these days, it’s not worth it.

So thanks to WordPress’s magic scheduling ability, as you read this… we are currently returning from a week at a ski resort in the western mountains of Maine.

 

 

That’s right Lionel, I haven’t been here for a week and you didn’t even miss me.

God bless technology.

Did we ski? Hell no, it’s too early for that… even in Maine. But it’s a beautiful area and I’m sure we explored. And drank. And took pictures.

The deluge of photos will begin shortly….

 

not again

 

You’ve been warned.