Tag Archives: wordpress

Apparently, he likes me.

 

Sometimes WordPress makes me laugh because I follow a lot of funny people.

 

 

Sometimes it makes me laugh because a lot of funny people follow me.

 

 

And sometimes it makes me laugh for totally unexpected reasons.

Like the other day when I clicked my notifications and saw this:

 

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Clearly I must make TANBHIR laugh because he liked the hell out of every comment I made on one of my old posts.

Every single comment.

That’s a lot of laughing.

 

 

Not enough for him to actually comment back or add anything to the thread, but clearly TANBHIR likes the like button.

Unfortunately since TANBHIR  (Who must be a serious fellow since his name is all CAPS) only wants to help me make money online so I did not return the favor and like him back. I also removed him from my followers list.

Sorry TANBHIR, but I’m not here to make money.

Better luck next time.

 

 

Have you ever gotten one of those gifts?

 

You know the ones I mean.

The  “Oh holy crap, did someone really just give me that?”  variety.

When I was a teenager I had an aunt who ran a department at Time/Life. She attended numerous publishing conventions and thought it was great fun to collect the freebies off the exhibitors tables and then wrap them up as gifts. Over the years I received Exxon pencil sets, IBM keychains, and Dow Chemical clipboards. I got Sheraton note paper and Hilton shampoo. I even unwrapped Army camouflage toilet paper for my birthday one year.

Good times.

 

 

But every once in a while, she would actually purchase something. Not a hardship, considering the woman had a blue chip stock portfolio as long as my arm.

When I was 15, she must have gone to a thrift store….because she came home and gifted me with a slightly used  “pretty blue and white porcelain thing.”

That’s what she called it, The Thing….. not knowing what it really was. When she apologized for the strong smell and told me I should probably wash it?

I realized it was a bong.

 

 

Okay, so she nailed it that time.

Me and The Thing had many happy years together.

But by far the most interesting and ludicrous gift she ever gave me was this book I found when cleaning out my closet a few weeks ago.

 

IMG_4550

 

She majored in English Lit at Smith and probably thought a collection of light hearted verse would be nice.

 

 

But sadly…

Attention to detail was not her strong suit.

As witnessed by the table of contents.

 

IMG_4551

 

Yeah.

When you have a chapter on buggery?

They’re not your mother’s limericks.

 

 

I’m not a prude, but wow.

Some of those rhymes make even me blush.

And as much as I’d like to share the truly colorful ones with you, I don’t want to get WordPress blacklisted.

So here’s a small sampling of the mildest instead.

 

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The moral of the story?

If you’re buying a book as a gift,  it’s probably a good idea to scan a few of the pages for content first.

That being said, if you’re ever in need of a filthy limerick…

I’m your girl.

 

 

See?

There’s a way to sneak Game of Thrones into everything.

Nice try.

 

A few weeks ago I got an email from Instagram asking me to confirm the address on my account.

That was interesting…. because I don’t actually have an Instagram account.

 

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Five minutes later I got an email saying my username of rivergirl1211 had been changed.

Changed…

To Blankyhell.

 

 

Yes…

Blankyhell.

If that’s a place, I suppose it looks something like this:

 

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Which is how I feel during a hot flash in bed.

On the other hand, maybe they were thinking more along the lines of:

 

2qgush

 

Either way, it’s a pretty strange name.

So I went into the account, changed the username back, changed the password and then deleted the whole bogus thing.

I only use rivergirl1211 when I blog, so more than likely someone on here set it up.

Why would someone want to be me?

I have no clue.

Hell, half the time…. I don’t even want to be me.

 

lknb

 

It’s a little creepy being hacked, even if it’s only to Instagram.

Funny part is, the account already had a bunch of followers.  And since the only posted photo was a plain black square….. I can’t say I see the attraction.

Maybe I should have left it active and followed my feed.

You never know what I’ll get up to.

And apparently, neither do I.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monty Python and Spam….

 

Did you know the reason we call annoying and repetitive messages sent online  ‘Spam’  is due to the 1970 Monty Python sketch that poked fun at the infamous mystery meat?

 

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And while I can’t abide that gelatinous pink brick either…

My WordPress Spam never fails to disappoint.

Take Will for example –

may you
be rich and continue to help others. I am sure this post has touched all the internet viewers, its really really fastidious article.

Thank you Will.

I pride myself on making my posts as sparkling clean as possible.

 

11grmv

 

And then there’s Katie who read my blog about Ding Dongs and said –

This post actually made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

Clearly the poor woman had been searching high and low for junk food enlightenment . So glad I was able to help…

 

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Kevin is definitely a fan –

I want the actual valuable material you provide in your
articles.

 

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Thank you Kevin. I shall continue to provide the superior quality posts you’ve come to know and love.

Roger asks –

Where can i give apart my used handicap scooter?

I’m not sure why he thought I would know, as I’m hoping it will be many years before I need one.

 

nDDbyn6

 

And finally, the Pretty Guinea Pig made another appearance with –

Can You Snort  500mg cialis 

To which I reply…

 

398qwisueh

 

No more Cialis for you Randy!

 

Drive by likings….

 

I love to blog.

 

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(I like to think so… but in reality? No.)

I love to read other people’s blogs.

 

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(That looks more like an ostrich egg, but who am I to turn down free food?)

I love to comment on other people’s blogs and have them comment on mine.

 

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(Yes…. Yes I can.)

For me, it’s all about connecting. And I’ve been doing it for over 14 years.

Finding a small tribe of like minded weirdos is comforting, and I enjoy it.

So while I’m relatively new here, and I realize WordPress is a large site with scores of people who try to profit from, or make a living out of it…. I’m constantly dumbfounded by the amount of shadow bloggers who inhabit this space.

They like my post, sometimes they follow me…. when I know damn well they’ve never read a single word I’ve written.

Do they even exist?

 

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Example.

 

jiyudrtf

 

This person (?) has 418 followers…

And 85 likes on a post that isn’t even a post.

WTH?

How can you like something that doesn’t exist?

 

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(Okay, never mind… that’s fabulous.)

But please tell me what the point is here, because I’m confused.

Drive by likings.

Shadow followers.

Why?

 

 

Let’s talk about Spam….

 

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I have to admit, WordPress’s spam catcher is pretty effective.

Although, come on….

 

jhgyeuwi

 

They could have let that through.

So it never ceases to amaze me how many people and companies keep trying. I mean, yes… practice makes perfect.  And kudos to them for their tenacity, but today I had 33 spam messages trapped.

33.

6 of them from the pretty guinea pig.

Buy Amoxil 500mg Amoxicillin http://theprettyguineapig.com/amoxicillin/

Who clearly thinks I need an antibiotic.

 

987456512321

 

Damn…

That’s a disturbing thought.

Then there’s this cryptic example.

Research – good research is significant to buying
a reliable dress. With the drive comes the need of creation. It is unachievable
to “make” others happy, in but the. That is, as long as you follow that will. http://pro-social.ru/bitrix/redirect.php?event1=&event2=&event3=&goto=http://aidanharris.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php%3Fd=cuci.today

 

While I agree buying the right dress may require a little extra effort…

 

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They lost me with  “It is unachievable
to “make” others happy, in but the. That is, as long as you follow that will.”

Maybe making others happy in the but is achievable.

Don’t scoff, everyone needs a life goal.

I was a little disappointed to see this flagged as Spam –

 

Frank
Frank

20 hours ago·

tunklitankli.com

Your site has exceptional content. I bookmarked the site

 

Because hey –

 

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This one surprised me –

taylor swift 22 live billboard
taylor swift 22 live billboard

It is often a fast-paced, high-risk trading option that potentially
gives substantial returns. This mentality will
absolutely move you killed.

 

Taylor Swift wants to kill me if I move?

 

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Yeah, well… bite me Taylor.

You can’t keep a boyfriend and I’ve been married 35 years. Hope your Grammys keep you warm at night.

Then there are the never ending, non stop online casino ads.

These spammers are dedicated. Once they find you? They don’t let go…. but that’s okay. Because yes, they do make me laugh.

Texas hold em poker has slip on huge around turmoil.

 

Texas has huge slip ons?

 

 

920x920

 

That’s just wrong.

 

“…this is nonetheless not preferable to gamble by having an above exhausted head.”

Agreed.

I hate having an above exhausted head.

 

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..”When asked for advice, the nice I could offer was for him to continue
playing Gin using wife.”

I’m no marriage expert, but the only type of gin I want my husband to be playing with is this:

 

hACEDEBBA

 

 

And finally…

“Did the enemy team get Baron due to the fact nobody on the own group warded this?
Did an enemy stroll into five of yourself and pass on? Every tiny mistake needs for famous to create certain you can study.
To fail to Do that a lot of.”

Yes, the enemy team got Baron Trump, because really… who wants to deal with that dad on the sidelines?

I don’t remember the enemy strolling in and passing on. Let me ask my 4 other personalities and get back to you.

But…. help me out here. What does every tiny mistake need?

Even I can’t unpack that one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Out with the old, in with the….

 

Yeah, whatever.

I’m not big on the retrospective “best of  (insert year) ” posts. And I’d never bore you with all the New Year’s resolutions I plan to break. (or most likely, have already broken.)  Don’t “tag” me with the 20 questions game, I won’t play.  Throwback Thursday, What The Hell Wednesday and Seriously, Who Cares Saturday are not my thing. That doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy reading yours.. ( well… I might not, but if it’s Saturday you won’t care. And that’s a beautiful thing.)

I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum.. (and yes, the occasional Mariachi Band. But only if the margaritas are stellar.)  …so you’re more apt to find a blog about flying poop than profound thoughts on the coming New Year on my page this week.

 

 

But I did want to take a minute to say thank you.

Thank you for reading, for following, for laughing and most of all? Thank you for making me feel welcome in the few months that I’ve been here. I’ve been blogging for longer than I care to remember and have had a lot of sites die from underneath me. While I sincerely hope that was poor management or low readership numbers and not the direct result of my setting up shop there…. (Damn. Did I really kill them all? If so, let me apologize in advance for dooming this wonderful site to a fiery end.) … you lot have made me feel welcome at WordPress, and for that I’m grateful.

So here’s to another year of crazy.

Of finding the ridiculous and sharing it.

Another year of irony.

Of adventure.

And of friendship.

Most definitely of that.

 

 

Thanks for being my tribe.