I must have been 3 1/2 because I was born in December and started nursery school early.
I remember all the children had to bring in something to sleep on for nap time. And while the other kids were given a pillow or blanket from home…my mother, being the uber mom she was…. went to FAO Schwartz and purchased a fantastically plush Humpty Dumpty egg shaped rug. It was perfect and I loved it.
I have vague memories of the other children being jealous and trying to take it from me on repeated occasions. Being a shy child, they often succeeded which resulted in my tear stained face and the teacher asking my mother to give me something less grand and envy provoking.
Which now that I think about it was a pretty lousy lesson. How about teaching my thieving little classmates to respect other people’s property instead.
This post may be a little woo woo for some of my readers and that’s fine. I’m a very grounded skeptic at heart and I swear if these things didn’t happen to me I wouldn’t believe them either.
If you’re a long time reader you’ll remember I wrote about the bizarre things that transpired during my mother’s last days in hospice. I can’t explain any of them, but I was there. They happened.
I’m an only child and my father died when I was young. My mother and I were close. She was a very spiritual woman and believed in a lot of things I don’t. Her death in 2014 hit me hard and deciding what to do with her ashes took me a few months. After burying half of them with a memorial tree on our property, I decided to take the other half back to the Jersey shore where we spent countless happy hours as a family.
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She adored the ocean.
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It was an emotional journey returning to the place she loved and saying goodbye.
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But I felt her with me and knew she’d approve.
I was a bit of a wreck that day, drained and raw. So when we returned to our hotel all I wanted to do was crawl in bed for a nap… but then I saw this on the counter.
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A white bobby pin that wasn’t there when we left. The same type of white bobby pin my mother used every day. The ones I had to special order at a beauty supply shop because no one carried them. The ones my mother would obsess over if she didn’t have enough.
I don’t use white bobby pins.
I certainly didn’t bring one with me to New Jersey.
No, the maid hadn’t cleaned our room while we were gone and left one. I checked.
Scoff all you like, but I know it was my mother’s way of telling me she was okay with my decision.
For the last 9 years that bobby pin has been a talisman and has lived on the bureau in my bedroom where I carefully dust around it. Until the other day… when I had just finished reading a book about a girl who lost her mother and believed she could communicate with her from beyond the grave.
I finished the book, went into our bedroom and it was gone. I looked everywhere. Under and behind the bureau, in all the drawers, behind my jewelry box and perfume tray. My husband didn’t take it. No one else was in the house. Lord Dudley doesn’t jump on the bureau but on the off chance he had, I scoured the room, searched in every corner and under the bed. I even emptied the vacuum cleaner. Nothing.
Just… gone. There that morning, gone in the afternoon, and I can’t explain it.
I also can’t explain this –
Remember when I posted about the recent storm and our loss of electricity? When my husband and I had an epic six hour gin rummy match by flashlight?
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We used a blue deck of cards I had in the drawer. Naturally I won because gin rummy was my mother’s game and she taught me well. Hope springs eternal for my husband, but he rarely beats me.
Wanting revenge, he pulled out the deck last night and we played again. I was skunking him and after I’d just dropped another gin… double points thanks to a spade… he complained about not drawing the jack he needed and picked up the deck to check how far down it was.
The deck we had just recently played with for 6 hours.
The deck that has been in the kitchen drawer, untouched, ever since.
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There wasn’t a single jack to be found. None. It was a deck of 48 cards.
Did Lord Dudley remove them all? Doubtful.
Is there a jack burglar on the loose in rural Maine? Equally as doubtful.
I’ve been joking lately about our house being cursed due to all the renovation nightmare mishaps, but damn. Now I’m really beginning to wonder.
I was having a conversation with a girlfriend the other day and the topic turned to dolls we had as children.
She loved them, I hated them …. still do as a matter of fact.
I’ve always found dolls creepy and never wanted any as a kid. But being a girl growing up in the 70’s, the gift of dolls was inevitable.
I told my friend I remembered one doll in particular I received for my birthday named Crissy. She was large and had hair that would “grow”… which in actuality meant she had a hole in her head and you pulled her pony tail to extend the length.
(Being a doll hater I immediately pulled… and chopped off her hair with a sharp pair of scissors. Good times.)
My girlfriend, being of the same vintage… didn’t remember this doll and argued over her existence.
Challenge!
I had to prove I was right and did a bit of research.
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Score!
She did exist.
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But holy hell…
The photos!
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Mother of God, that thing is possessed.
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Yes, I was proved right.
But now I’m going to have nightmares about an army of dead eyed demon dolls with bald heads.
I could take a world view and hope for an end to the war in Ukraine and peace in the Middle East.
Or I could take a national view and hope for sanity to return to politics and an end to the partisan and cultural divide in this country.
But I’m going to take a smaller, closer to home view and hope for the continued health of my (still thinks he’s 20) husband. Many of my blog friends are experiencing the grief of loss or catastrophic illness of a spouse or loved one and it makes me realize how truly blessed I still am. I may moan and groan about his crap collecting and his inability to enjoy retirement, but I have him.
And he has me.
That’s everything.
But maybe… just maybe?
I’ll hope for better luck with our home improvement projects as well.
I often complain about things in the kitchen. The toaster that doesn’t toast evenly, the dirty spoons my husband leaves on the counter and more often than not … the fact that we pay more for food each day but seem to get less.
I understand prices rise, and though I never like it… I expect it. What I don’t expect is to start cooking, reach for the 16 ounce can (box or bag of whatever) only to find it’s shrunken to 14. Two ounces short of what I need forcing me to downsize my recipe or worse yet, buy another full can (box or bag of whatever) and waste most of it.
Grrr.
The insanity needs to stop… because today I discovered it’s gone one step too far.
My husband likes the old fashioned Shake and Bake barbecue chicken so every once in a while I throw him a bone and make it.
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There I was with my foil wrapped pan, my chicken leg quarters and and a box of seasoning packets. I was primed and ready to shake.
Problem was… there was no shaker bag in the box. You know the ones – they were flimsy, never closed properly and weren’t big enough for whatever you needed to shake?
Nada.
Zip.
Nothing.
Even though the side of the box clearly states you should use it.
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This is egregious marketing.
If you no longer include the shaking apparatus? You should no longer be able to call yourself Shake and Bake.
We’ll start with Lord Dudley Mountcatten who definitely knows how to relax.
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My husband wanted a fleece vest to wear at the office (because he works for the government and they’re too cheap to raise the thermostat above 65 degrees in the winter) so we headed to L.L. Bean.
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Home of the giant boot..
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And flannel shirt beer coozies.
They clearly know their audience.
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Charity my *ss. Those on the bottom should lose their non profit status.
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Supporting a new blog friend by purchasing and reading his amusing and heartwarming tales of animal caretaking in Scotland.
And finally, my algorithms have gotten on board with my furniture shopping nightmare by dropping vintage finds on my FB feed.
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I have to admit, I kind of dig it.
😉
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.