Tag Archives: animals

Products no one needs.

 

I know we’ve all become lazy housebound sods who can’t be bothered to put on pants during the pandemic, but this?

 

 

This is a bridge too far.

The day I’m too lazy to stir my own pan you have permission to slit my throat, fill it with kale and put me out of my misery.

And while I’m all for cocktails?

 

 

 

I have absolutely no intention of sharing my margaritas with llamas.

Nope.

Not happening.

 

 

 

Oh, yeah.

Kitty Hitler looks positively thrilled.

 

 

 

Let’s ponder this for a moment.

Someone thought about, invented, pitched, found investment capital and marketed….. a hammock for fish.

Is this a great country or what!

And finally…. when your dog no longer needs his collar of shame?

 

 

Viola!

You can re-purpose it in the kitchen.

You’re welcome.

Critter central.

 

Woodchucks are still being tormented by starlings.

 

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And are sometimes drastically outnumbered.

 

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Deer and fox happily dine together.

 

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Squirrel keeps an eye on deer.

 

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But calls in back up.

 

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Until another fox shows up.

 

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Who is so chill he lays down and eats like a Roman.

 

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How chill?

He even smiles for the camera.

 

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Deer, fox and squirrels depart, woodchucks return.

 

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It’s the circle of life.

Otherwise known as an average afternoon in our backyard.

*note – these pictures were taken before the drought turned our lawn a lovely shade of brown*

Everyone wants a seat at the table.

 

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This little female Baltimore Oriole for example.

 

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She sat there for 15 minutes or so…..

 

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Waiting in vane for dinner to be served.

 

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Then there’s my  sworn enemy  little  rat bastard  red squirrel.

 

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We may have evicted them from their corner post home…..

 

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But it hasn’t stopped their daily visits.

 

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And raids on the deer bound apple slices.

Turn your back if you want you pesky varmint…. we both know what you’re up to.

Random critters.

 

I was finally able to grab a few pictures of our resident buck.

 

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Which is getting harder to do as the summer wears on.

 

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But this father son shot was pretty sweet.

 

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Junior’s antlers are growing.

 

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And it always makes me wonder what the felt feels like.

 

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Naturally there are woodchuck photos.

 

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And some close ups.

 

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We have one lone chipmunk this year.

 

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And yes, those pesky red squirrel babies are still here.

 

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Using our deck railing as a cafeteria.

 

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As well as a toilet.

 

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Yes, I’m talking to you.

Clearly your mother didn’t tell you not to shit where you eat.

Bad form. Very bad…..

 

 

A veritable squirrel pantry…..

 

I was sitting in the living room reading when movement caught my eye.

 

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On closer inspection:

 

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Knowing this was not going to end well, I went outside to  chase the little red bastard investigate.

 

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Momma squirrel was back.

 

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When she saw me, she ran.

 

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And I thought, there.

That was easy.

 

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But she wasn’t running because I’d scared her.

No.

 

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She was just looking for a place to stash the apple chunk she’d stolen from the deer.

 

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I found this piece, and 4 others in various nooks and crannies of the table and chairs.

The next morning? 3 more pieces.

So now, everyday when I go outside?

 

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I have to pull half eaten apple pieces out of our patio furniture before the ants descend.

Good times.

 

absolutely-not-

 

I hate that squirrel!

Woodchucks vs starlings.

 

What’s a baby woodchuck to do?

 

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All he wants to do is peacefully munch the bounty thoughtfully provided by that crazy woman in the house.

 

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It’s bad enough his pesky brother shows up….

 

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But then that pesky bird tries to steal his blueberries.

 

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And before you know it…..

 

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The bird calls in reinforcements.

 

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And things go downhill fast.

 

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What’s a woodchuck to do?

Another woodchuck dump.

 

Of photos.

But after the post I did the other day, I don’t blame you for wondering.

 

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Babies have grown up.

 

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And venture out daily. Three in the above picture.

 

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They are also getting fat.

 

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Though I can’t imagine why.

 

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I’m sad to say I saw a fox run off with one in it’s mouth last week.

 

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And though momma chuck does her best, nature will occasionally have her way.

 

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She started with 6 children, went down to 4…. and now it’s 3.

 

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Quadruplets are now triplets.

But they’re still fun to watch….

 

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I’m still trying to make friends…

 

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And Momma still needs a good support bra.

 

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Because it made me laugh.

 

So for the past few weeks the half dead mallows that the woodchucks munched to nubs have been soaking up Miracle Grow and sun on my deck table.

They’re coming along, but it’s slow going.

Completely out of reach of little mouths and teeth, they might have a chance.

So when I looked out the window the other day and saw momma woodchuck sniffing around the deck….

 

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Eyeing the plants and poised for action….

 

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I had to laugh.

 

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Stretch all you want.

 

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You and your buck teeth can’t reach them!

Neener, neener.