Tag Archives: pests

That bitch!

.

It never ends, I swear.

.

.

She most definitely is and judging by what’s scattered all over our lawn …

.

.

And stuck in our shrubbery…

.

.

She’s been busy.

It only took me a minute to find her latest project. I simply looked up….

.

.

And there was the proof. Waving at me like a flag in the breeze.

.

.

That little red bitch has chewed her way into our house… again! To be honest, I don’t even know what that vent is for, but I’m guessing it’s going to be filled with little red bitch offspring in no time flat.

Red Squirrel War IV will commence shortly.

😡

.

The battle continues.

.

Remember my pretty little petunia?

.

.

It’s not pretty anymore.

.

.

And my colorful little leftover flower bed?

.

.

Not nearly as colorful now.

.

.

Yes, the baby woodchucks are on the move and munching their way through my gardens… not to mention my wallet.

Cute? Yes. But cuteness will only get them so far.

.

.

I spread this around my garden today and if it doesn’t work?

I may have to invite the real thing for dinner. ( Kidding, but tempting.)

.

.

You little rat bastards.

.

I was not pleased.

Not at all pleased to find the marigolds everyone told me to plant to because animals hate them flowers I’d so lovingly tended were being beheaded.

.

.

My first thought was woodchucks because those little devils have decimated my gardens in the past. So I liberally sprayed everything with coyote urine. ( Helpful hint – don’t do this on a windy afternoon like yours truly. People will shun you for days.)

.

.

The next morning?

Another beheading.

.

.

The day after that? Two.

.

.

Third day? Three decapitations and multiple plants nibbled down to nubs.

.

.

I was livid and rethinking my woodchucks are so cute! policy. Until….

.

.

I watched a mouse come out from under the baby barn and try to drag a marigold blossom in. Mice? Since when do mice eat marigolds? Do I have a mutant strain of blossom munching rodents nesting in our lawn mowers? Turns out I do, and though I never ever resort to poison?

.

.

When I found multiple piles of rodent poo, I did. No mutant mouse is going to nest in the husband’s new $5,000 zero turn tractor. Uh uh. Not happening.

.

She’s persistent, I’ll give her that.

.

Alternate title : The Bitch is Back.

.

IMG_3577

.

Still on our roof.

.

IMG_3578

.

Still trying to chew her way back into our house.

.

IMG_3572

.

Look at her.

.

IMG_3579

.

Taunting me.

.

IMG_3574

.

We’ve sealed up every entry point we can find.

.

IMG_3576

.

But she keeps looking.

.

IMG_3575

.

Did I laugh when she scrambled on top of the gutter, slipped and fell in the downspout?

Damn right I did.

.

Timing is everything.

.

And it’s always bad at Casa River.

.

IMG_3514

.

Yesterday morning I saw that rat bastard red squirrel.

.

IMG_3513

.

She was running all over our roof and gutter probably looking for a way back into the house.

.

IMG_3515

.

I chased her off with the broom, but 10 minutes later she was back. She hung around for another half hour or so and for once….

I wish she’d stayed a little longer.

.

IMG_3487

.

Well, hello there.

.

IMG_3488

.

 Your timing was awful, but please come back another day.

I have multiple squirrel recipes to share.

.

She’s baaaack.

.

I thought maybe we’d seen the last of her.

.

IMG_3303

.

But no, she was out back stealing chopped up deer apples yesterday.

.

IMG_3306

.

She was back on the patio table.

.

IMG_3352

.

And there’s only one reason for that. Do you know how sick and tired I am of finding small pieces of rotted apple every time I sit down?

.

IMG_3356

.

And then of course there’s the poo.

.

IMG_3357

.

She leaves it there on purpose, I know it.

.

IMG_3337

.

And may I just say, sipping from puddles of rain water filled with your own poo?

.

IMG_3338

.

Not the least bit appetizing.

.

And please note… in that last picture? She is literally pooping. Am I a great photo journalist or what!

.

It’s not easy being a deer.

 

This is the time of year my heart goes out to these graceful wild creatures.

Because in Maine?

 

IMG_2669

 

It’s fly season.

 

IMG_2667

 

And there’s nothing flies like more than a juicy deer.

 

IMG_2670

 

The poor things are covered in them.

 

IMG_2676

 

Day and night, night and day.

 

IMG_2672

 

All over their bodies.

They twitch, they scratch, they shake like a Parkinson’s patient to no avail.

 

IMG_2680

 

I can’t even imagine how horrible this must be.

I go berserk if one nasty fly finds me when I’m mowing the lawn…. I’d be stark raving mad if I had to contend with this many!

A veritable squirrel pantry…..

 

I was sitting in the living room reading when movement caught my eye.

 

IMG_4925

 

On closer inspection:

 

IMG_4926

 

Knowing this was not going to end well, I went outside to  chase the little red bastard investigate.

 

IMG_4934

 

Momma squirrel was back.

 

IMG_4936

 

When she saw me, she ran.

 

IMG_4937

 

And I thought, there.

That was easy.

 

IMG_4944

 

But she wasn’t running because I’d scared her.

No.

 

IMG_4943

 

She was just looking for a place to stash the apple chunk she’d stolen from the deer.

 

IMG_4918

 

I found this piece, and 4 others in various nooks and crannies of the table and chairs.

The next morning? 3 more pieces.

So now, everyday when I go outside?

 

IMG_4920

 

I have to pull half eaten apple pieces out of our patio furniture before the ants descend.

Good times.

 

absolutely-not-

 

I hate that squirrel!