Tag Archives: summer

Momma squirrel has not forgotten.

 

While relaxing on the barn porch the other afternoon…..

 

IMG_4408

 

Our peace and quiet was disturbed by one very perturbed rodent.

 

IMG_4411

 

Momma squirrel was back and chattering up a storm.

She was scrambling up and down the posts.

 

IMG_4410

 

Running back and forth along the eaves.

 

IMG_4409

 

And most definitely making her presence known.

Her memory is long.

And apparently all has not been forgiven.

Grill shopping.

 

The unthinkable happened last week.

Our beloved… and only 3 years old damn it… Weber grill died. Not wanting to spend a summer without one, we immediately went hunting for it’s replacement.

I wanted a small one without a side burner, so naturally all the husband looked at were large ones with side burners.

Ah, marriage.

 

 

Have you been grill shopping lately?

Holy crap!

I’ve paid less for cars.

 

 

Here’s the husband taking one for a test drive.

Literally driving it…. he spun it around a corner and had it up on 2 wheels.

Because Christ, at over a thousand dollars? That bastard better taxi us to the pub on its day off.

I found one I wanted.

Really wanted.

 

 

It came with wine!

But no. The husband dragged me to 5 other stores and ended up choosing one from Tractor Supply.

 

 

Large?

 

 

Oh yeah.

 

 

Much larger than we need, but it has stainless steel grates and radiant embers.

What the hell are radiant embers?

I have no idea….

But I bought some lovely filets and we’re going to find out tonight.

 

Because big barn needs a little time in the spotlight now and then.

 

 

 

Since the baby barn has been hogging all the attention lately, let me reintroduce you to my favorite spot to spend late afternoons.

 

 

Comfortable furniture, blooming pretties, a good book and a cocktail.

Lowers my blood pressure just thinking about it.

 

 

I planted this garden bed two weeks ago, took a picture and realized there’s a hole.

Damn… another trip to the nursery will be necessary.

How awful.

😈

 

 

Big barn dwarfs baby barn.

 

 

And it’s where you can find me most evenings in the summer, surveying my domain.

 

 

Cheers!

As my garden grows…

 

IMG_5492

 

Day lilies.

 

IMG_5542

 

They’re vibrant…

 

IMG_5541

 

And colorful…

 

 

(Is it me… or is that mildly disturbing?)

 

IMG_5543

 

They’re prolific…

 

 

IMG_5545

 

Long lasting…

 

light bulb

 

(Well that explains why my refrigerator died. They wanted it to.)

 

IMG_5499

 

And easy to care for.

Plant… forget… and enjoy.

 

IMG_5551

 

The same goes for Hostas, although they prefer some shade.

Everything is in marvelous bloom right now.

 

IMG_5893

 

Except the sunflowers the chipmunk from Hell planted in my petunias.

 

IMG_5502

 

They may take a while.

 

 

Happy gardening!

Things I don’t like today.

 

A switch from my regular happy to be alive posts.

 

 

163k19

 

 

I don’t like….

Being bitten on the hand by a horse fly while mowing the lawn and having it swell up to 5 times it’s normal size.

 

IMG_5188

 

Hot, stiff and throbbing.

And not in a good way.

 

 

I don’t like….

Being bitten on the ankle by a horse fly the next day and having it swell up to epic proportions as well.

WTH?

 

IMG_5185

 

Did one of you clowns stick a Bite Me sign on my back…

 

2b1sml

 

 

I don’t like….

Being late to lunch with friends because I lost the husband to yet another junk filled yard sale he just couldn’t drive by.

 

IMG_5287

 

He came back with a bag… and I didn’t even want to know what was in it.

 

17mwtt

 

I don’t like….

The fact that the husband owns a chain saw.

 

IMG_5191

 

This birch tree had one bad section… one.

So bye bye entire tree.

 

 

Nothing is safe. Except the two dead flowering plum trees I’ve been after him to cut for years. Those?

He leaves alone.

I don’t like….

 

 

IMG_5125

 

Going out to check on the baby catbird nest and finding momma’s feathers on the ground…

 

IMG_5124

 

And an empty nest knocked loose from the bush.

Poor little things.

I don’t like….

Things that come in threes. First our  too new to die damn it  refrigerator, then my car’s air conditioner, and now the husband’s truck’s air conditioner. There’s a conspiracy afoot to make me sweat.

 

 

I really, really don’t like that!

 

 

 

A little garden fluff…

 

(Not to be confused with actually fluffing… because, damn. That’s another blog entirely. )

 

IMG_5345

 

The silver mounds are mounding nicely….

 

IMG_5343

 

And the red geraniums you all told me to plant? Made the bulkhead doors look even more red…. so, yeah.

 

 

 

IMG_5349

 

Day lilies are popping up among the peonies.

 

IMG_5351

 

As well as in the shadow of the giant quince bush.

 

IMG_5352

 

Not sure how that red fellow got in there.

Are there daylily postmen?

 

IMG_5356

 

Begonias are begonia-ing.

 

IMG_5389

 

And the lawn that never stops growing affords ample opportunity for the neighbors to test drive the husband’s new toy.

 

IMG_5391

 

If only they wanted to take more than a few swipes, we could sit on the porch with an adult beverage and enjoy the summer….

 

 

 

Oh, Oprah.

 

Last week I was doing what I love most in the world,  kicking back with an ice cold margarita while being hand fed tasty morsels by Bradley Cooper,  waiting in an urgent care clinic for my SIL who I agreed to drive there.

** Warning for male readers – this post is going to go south about halfway through. Literally and figuratively. **

Medical facility waiting rooms are my least favorite place in the world. Crowded, obnoxiously loud, human petri dishes. Breeding grounds for the passage of whatever plague is currently circulating. Worried about mad cow disease or the bird flu? Forget the barnyard…. you’ll catch it here. Had I owned a bio hazard suit, I would have worn it proudly. With triple duct tape at the joints.

 

hazmat-suit-in-pink

 

As I was sitting in an unobtrusive corner trying not to breath, I realized my phone had died and I was at the mercy of the magazine rack. (Not reading is out of the question. Someone might want to start up a conversation and that’s entirely too much close contact when you’re trapped in a disease ridden incubator from Hell.)

As you know, medical waiting room magazine racks are filled with riveting copies of  Breast Feeding Monthly, How to Avoid Herpes newsletters and Let’s Identify that Secretion Digest.

I figured Oprah’s magazine would be the least revolting choice and grabbed her new issue.

 

IMG_E4988

 

Oh, Oprah…

( Now would be a good time to point out that I detest women’s magazines in general. I have never needed to know how to bake a better bundt, why the soles of my feet are making me unhappy or what to do if my husband is cheating on me with my mother. )

And Hell, I didn’t even get past Oprah’s cover before I was rolling my eyes.

 

IMG_4987

 

While I have a girlfriend whose husband thinks hers has been on vacation since 2006…

I was guessing this article wasn’t about sex and shuddered to think about the tips hidden inside.

 

vajayjay-meme-3-300x200

 

I’d rather you didn’t, but thanks all the same.

The teaser didn’t bode well.

 

IMG_4991

 

And it made me wonder how mine has survived all these summers without the benefit of expert advice.

 

l-31216-some-advice-as-summer-approaches-if-youre-wearing-shorts-and-it-looks-like-your-vagina-is-trying-to-eat-them-maybe-theyre-not-for-you

 

There…

Now that’s advice you can use.

I refuse to go into detail about the article, but will post a picture of it for anyone who’s interested.

 

IMG_4992

 

In a nutshell? Treat Her Right.

Remember..

You heard it here first.