Tag Archives: summer

Things I don’t like today.

 

A switch from my regular happy to be alive posts.

 

 

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I don’t like….

Being bitten on the hand by a horse fly while mowing the lawn and having it swell up to 5 times it’s normal size.

 

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Hot, stiff and throbbing.

And not in a good way.

 

 

I don’t like….

Being bitten on the ankle by a horse fly the next day and having it swell up to epic proportions as well.

WTH?

 

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Did one of you clowns stick a Bite Me sign on my back…

 

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I don’t like….

Being late to lunch with friends because I lost the husband to yet another junk filled yard sale he just couldn’t drive by.

 

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He came back with a bag… and I didn’t even want to know what was in it.

 

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I don’t like….

The fact that the husband owns a chain saw.

 

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This birch tree had one bad section… one.

So bye bye entire tree.

 

 

Nothing is safe. Except the two dead flowering plum trees I’ve been after him to cut for years. Those?

He leaves alone.

I don’t like….

 

 

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Going out to check on the baby catbird nest and finding momma’s feathers on the ground…

 

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And an empty nest knocked loose from the bush.

Poor little things.

I don’t like….

Things that come in threes. First our  too new to die damn it  refrigerator, then my car’s air conditioner, and now the husband’s truck’s air conditioner. There’s a conspiracy afoot to make me sweat.

 

 

I really, really don’t like that!

 

 

 

A little garden fluff…

 

(Not to be confused with actually fluffing… because, damn. That’s another blog entirely. )

 

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The silver mounds are mounding nicely….

 

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And the red geraniums you all told me to plant? Made the bulkhead doors look even more red…. so, yeah.

 

 

 

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Day lilies are popping up among the peonies.

 

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As well as in the shadow of the giant quince bush.

 

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Not sure how that red fellow got in there.

Are there daylily postmen?

 

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Begonias are begonia-ing.

 

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And the lawn that never stops growing affords ample opportunity for the neighbors to test drive the husband’s new toy.

 

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If only they wanted to take more than a few swipes, we could sit on the porch with an adult beverage and enjoy the summer….

 

 

 

Oh, Oprah.

 

Last week I was doing what I love most in the world,  kicking back with an ice cold margarita while being hand fed tasty morsels by Bradley Cooper,  waiting in an urgent care clinic for my SIL who I agreed to drive there.

** Warning for male readers – this post is going to go south about halfway through. Literally and figuratively. **

Medical facility waiting rooms are my least favorite place in the world. Crowded, obnoxiously loud, human petri dishes. Breeding grounds for the passage of whatever plague is currently circulating. Worried about mad cow disease or the bird flu? Forget the barnyard…. you’ll catch it here. Had I owned a bio hazard suit, I would have worn it proudly. With triple duct tape at the joints.

 

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As I was sitting in an unobtrusive corner trying not to breath, I realized my phone had died and I was at the mercy of the magazine rack. (Not reading is out of the question. Someone might want to start up a conversation and that’s entirely too much close contact when you’re trapped in a disease ridden incubator from Hell.)

As you know, medical waiting room magazine racks are filled with riveting copies of  Breast Feeding Monthly, How to Avoid Herpes newsletters and Let’s Identify that Secretion Digest.

I figured Oprah’s magazine would be the least revolting choice and grabbed her new issue.

 

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Oh, Oprah…

( Now would be a good time to point out that I detest women’s magazines in general. I have never needed to know how to bake a better bundt, why the soles of my feet are making me unhappy or what to do if my husband is cheating on me with my mother. )

And Hell, I didn’t even get past Oprah’s cover before I was rolling my eyes.

 

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While I have a girlfriend whose husband thinks hers has been on vacation since 2006…

I was guessing this article wasn’t about sex and shuddered to think about the tips hidden inside.

 

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I’d rather you didn’t, but thanks all the same.

The teaser didn’t bode well.

 

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And it made me wonder how mine has survived all these summers without the benefit of expert advice.

 

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There…

Now that’s advice you can use.

I refuse to go into detail about the article, but will post a picture of it for anyone who’s interested.

 

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In a nutshell? Treat Her Right.

Remember..

You heard it here first.

 

 

 

 

Things I like today.

 

1.  Kicking back on the barn porch on a summer evening after a long day of mowing and trimming the lawn?

Wonderful.

 

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Margarita in a can?

Not so much.

 

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But it’s alcohol.. with a view.

So I like.

 

2.  With a shout out to Mona at  Wayward Sparkles  who introduced me to this marvelous piece of mechanical engineering)

I read her blog and thought, damn…. I have to have one.

And then I thought, gifts!

So I had to have 2 more.

 

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Are you all here?

Good.

Viola!

 

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A bell you can ring to summon the elixir of the Gods.

In pink no less!

I believe this little darling will be getting quite a work out at Casa River.

If only I could order the hot cabana boy to go with it…

I like.

 

And finally, ladies…

Do you have old, dry wood?

No, I’m not talking about your husbands.

 

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We have stained wood moulding,  doors, window frames and sills, and built in stained bookcases etc. basically every piece of trim is unpainted wood. They’re original to the house and tend to dry out/fade from sunlight and winter heating.

So I found this on Amazon –

 

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Half a bottle did 12 doors and frames, 5 windows and frames and 2 large tables.

It’s good stuff. Witness the before and after…

 

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Brings back the shine and feeds your thirsty wood with very little effort.

I like.

 

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Thank you..

Thank you very much.

The pollen apocalypse.

 

Forget zombies.

 

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Forget nuclear war.

 

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The pollen is here and I swear it’s going to kill me before the other things have a chance.

This year we’ve seen a crazy increase in pollen. While we normally have a few days of yellow dust choking our air every spring, here we are starting July and we’re still covered in the crap.

How much pollen is too much pollen?

 

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The barn porch furniture is covered.

 

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The kitchen porch is covered.

 

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The back deck is covered.

 

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It’s in every outdoor crevice.

 

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And running down the driveway in streams after a rain.

 

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Nothing escapes it.

 

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Open your windows?

 

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It covers the stove.

And the washing machine.

 

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You know those crazy videos you see on the news…

The ones where someone shakes a tree and clouds of pollen emerge?

 

 

I saw our neighbor do that but didn’t have my camera handy….

It’s insane.

 

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green. Green. GREEN!

 

We had a very wet spring… and it looks like we’re going to have a very wet summer as well.

 

 

Our lawn is still part swamp, numerous perennials have drowned and I am beginning to feel moldy.

 

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At times it feels like we’ll never dry out.

 

 

But the result of all this infernal moisture is green.

 

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Sprawling lawns of verdant green…

 

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It took us a little longer to get Casa River in shape this year….

 

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Because as soon as the warm temperatures hit there was an explosion of growth.

 

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My pink honeysuckle was glorious and grew twice as wide.

 

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Every single shrub is screaming for a haircut.

 

 

And the plants aren’t the only ones growing.

We have a pair of foxes with a den in our woods. They come up every evening to feed and carry pieces back to their young.

 

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The woodchucks babies are scampering every where and curious as all get out.

 

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These two were fascinated with the husband’s wet, smelly work boots.

 

 

No accounting for woodchuck taste apparently.

Summer may have been long in coming…

But it looks like it’s going to be an abundant season.