.
As if all the weirdo products aren’t bad enough, now Facebook wants to dress me.
.
.
At first glance I thought that was a skirt.
.
.
Do I want to walk around furred and feathered?
I do not.
.
.
Gender neutral? How about plain hideous.
.
.
I despise Crocs and have never worn one. Adding a flashlight to the toe will not change my mind.
.
.
I’m picturing me trying to get in (or out) of this dress after a few martinis. It’s not a pretty picture..
.
.
I’m hardly what anyone would call fashion savvy these days. When I was young and thin? Sure. But now, since I’m… curvy, voluptuous, fluffy, …. not, Maine has had her way with me and my wardrobe mainly consists of jeans and boots for winter, tee shirts and sandals for summer. The older I get the more I dress for comfort, but that hasn’t stopped me from glancing at the occasional clothing site from time to time.
It’s hard to believe these are the most loved styles, but what do I know? I’m from Maine where dressing up consists of ironing your flannel.
.
.
This looks a bit too much like a lampshade for my taste, but okay.
.
.
The next time I’m feeling the urge to step out with Budweiser Clydesdale feathered fetlocks… these will be my go to jeans.
.
.
A modern spin on the classic black cocktail dress. For those nights you feel like channeling both Mrs. Maisel and a Brontosaurus.
.
.
A girlfriend and I hit Goodwill the other day and if nothing else, it’s a great place to pick up cheap books.
.
.
16 books for $21? A little slice of heaven right there.
Of course, even thrift store shopping isn’t immune to politics these days…
.
.
And while I didn’t buy that tee shirt, I did buy this one. Because, honestly…. I had to.
.
.
I shall wear it and point at myself the next time my husband disagrees with me. That should go over well.
My girlfriend was in the mood for Cracker Barrel so that’s where we headed for lunch. The restaurant was almost empty but the hostess told us there would still be a 20-25 minute wait to be seated due to short staffing. (I’m seriously tired of waiting for meals… have all the pre Covid waiters and waitresses been abducted by aliens and given the anal probe? If not… please go back to work. River be hungry. )
Since it was raining we chose to wander the store instead of sitting outside on the rocking chairs, and that’s where I saw this:
.
.
For which I have no logical explanation.
But perhaps the biggest surprise of the day?
.
.
Alcohol… at Cracker Barrel!
When did that happen? Granted it’s not a favorite restaurant of mine and I probably haven’t stepped foot in one since my mother passed but it seems like I would have noticed such a momentous event.
Since their beer was dishwater I opted for a mimosa, which was close to dishwater only fizzy… but yes, it was alcohol!
At Cracker Barrel!
The world really has gone mad.
.
Cheap knock offs.
We’ve all seen them, we’ve all cringed.
Here are some that might make you laugh as well.
Clearly these are Thin Mints fatter cousins.
Arm and Hatchet…
When you’re really serious about getting rid of refrigerator odors.
Big Fella?
Come on…. it’s like they’re not even trying.
Nut Master!
I can’t even…. 🤣 🤣 🤣
For those days when your hamburger needs more than a helper.
Sorry…
But my mind went to a bad place with this one.
I’m going out on a limb here and guessing this wasn’t made in Massachusetts.
And finally, from Wal Mart….. the king of knock offs.
Because no one could be bothered to think up a real name for it.
For those not familiar with Duluth Trading Post…. it’s a clothing store with rather humorous commercials.
I say rather, because men usually get a bigger kick out of them than women.
Seeing that the subject matter is somewhat….. gender exclusive.
I’ve never had reason or opportunity to shop at Duluth, but recently a store opened in South Portland and my girlfriend wanted to go see what all the fuss was about.
Aside from some overpriced ( $38 for a plain t shirt? I think not ) and under-styled clothes?
There were these:
An entire section of stupid products.
With a decided bent toward what you do in the bathroom.
Color me unimpressed.
Although I did chortle at these…
Because they reminded me of that horrible gynecologist I had who always asked me how things were “down there”.
Thankfully she lost her license to practice.
But who knows?
She might work for Duluth now….
River's world..... 