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Another attempt at winter cat walking was made this week. The husband bundled up against the chill and Lord Dudley Mountcatten happily donned his harness for an excursion into the wilds of our backyard. All was proceeding nicely …
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Until we opened the door and the cold air hit his pansy ass feline self.
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At which point he turned tail and jumped right on the heating pad.
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His Lordship is most definitely a fair weather beast.
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The husband and I stopped into a local seafood place the other day for a drink and a bite.
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The bartender whipped me up a few fabulous Snowy White Cosmopolitans…
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And somehow we got to chatting about cats. A few cocktails in I was talking about putting the harness and leash on Dudley and told the bartender that as soon as I said “walkies!” in my best falsetto… he came running. She looked at me oddly, so I explained the origin of the term.
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Barbara was a British dog trainer who had a show on PBS in the 80’s. When I mentioned her name, the bartender didn’t have a clue. Which is when I apparently insulted her by saying “You remember that show”. I truly thought she would, because ya know… we looked about the same age and she had previously commiserated with me about hot flashes. Turns out she wasn’t my age, not even close and she was less than pleased I thought so.
It was then that I realized I had broken the age old drinking rule… never piss off the bartender.
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It’s a good thing she’d delivered my crab quesadillas before my I let loose my poisoned comment.
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But clearly we’ll never be able to go back to this establishment. Which is a shame because it was a fun place, complete with an “I prefer my pets” love meter sangria dispenser…
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And an outboard motor kegerator.
Me and my big liquored up mouth. It will never learn.
🥴
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten used to love going outside. I’d say “walkies” in my best falsetto and he’d bound into the room anxiously awaiting the harness and leash. Now that full Maine winter has arrived?
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He’s still anxious to go out, but not so thrilled with staying there.
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And looks at us as if to say, “My feet are cold. What the hell?”
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And makes a bee line back to the nice warm couch.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten?
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Love him.
Puking kitty gravy bowl?
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Definitely don’t love it.
Or want it, but thanks for asking.
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Clearly their idea of a sophisticated party and mine differ somewhat.
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And calling this monstrosity a work of art is stretching it.
Just.. no.
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Our resident red bitch seems to have it in for Lord Dudley Mountcatten.
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Day after day she prances around the deck and perches within sight of our highly frustrated cat.
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He knows he can’t reach her, but it doesn’t stop him from sitting (almost) perfectly still in anticipation.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten has been missing his outdoor excursions, so my husband bundled up against the chill and took him for a stroll.
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I still can’t get over how ridiculous it looks to “walk” a cat, but I refuse to lose another to the road… so the harness it is.
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At first His Lordship was thrilled and happily pranced hither and fro.
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But after a mere 4 minutes the wind chill had him shivering….
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And (literally) high tailing it back to the house.
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Where it’s warm..
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And mice aren’t so hard to catch.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten loves to bathe in the sun and does not appreciate his humans closing the blinds from the glare.
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Adjustments must be made.
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And indoor stalking of birds…
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And red squirrels continues.
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😊
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Go ahead, I know you want to. But in this case I’m crazy like a fox because I’ve found a product with multiple uses.
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The Woof Washer!
Okay, sure… it will clean the mud off your dog. But think of the possibilities.
Little Johnnie Jr. beat up the neighbor’s kid and is covered in blood?
Woof Washer!
Your 5 year old daughter found your stash of stripper glitter?
Woof Washer!
Your husband comes home from the bar reeking of cheap beer and even cheaper perfume ?
Woof Washer!
I’m telling you, this thing is pure gold.
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There’s only so much squirrel a cat can take.
Our resident red bitch was mad dashing around the property gathering and hiding food before the recent snow storm… and Lord Dudley Mountcatten was keeping a close eye on her progress.
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For some reason she decided under the grill was a perfect place to stash nuts. Every now and then she would run right up to the door and drive poor Dudley to distraction. The frustrated cat was cackling so hard he was shaking.
In other news, did you know squirrels are the latest trend in hair accessories?
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I can’t say I’ve ever wanted a rodent holding my ponytail in place….
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But if you have?
Now’s the time.
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Now that the husband has a fancy new pool table, he’s finally taken on the monumental task of teaching me how to play.
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So far? I suck. And it seems my underlying strategy is to keep all my balls on the table in order to block his access to the pockets.
Not for everyone, I know. But it’s all I’ve got right now.
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Outside? There are some pretty spectacular sunsets.
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And a very well staked Christmas reindeer who may be there until spring.
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Inside?
Lord Dudley Mountcatten is unsuccessfully hiding behind a coffee table leg.
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River's world..... 