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Admit it. You have nothing better to do right now…
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Seeing that our yard/property is covered in flowers instead of vegetables and the pear tree, apple trees, and blueberry bushes aren’t ready to harvest yet ….
I’m going to have to go with woodchuck.
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Kidding!
( But with all the fruit I feed them, they’d probably be sweet. )
So what’s on your dinner table tonight?
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Because I have written proof some of you love these.
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I could say he left the top off the toothpaste or the toilet seat up, but that seems like an extreme reaction for such a small infraction.
Think I’ll go with one that’s bound to get him tossed to the curb, never mind his clothes ….
“He told me this dress does make my butt look big.”
So what do you think he did?
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Because we can all use a little levity.
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Living in the country probably gives me the advantage here, but you never know… some of you have backyard alligators and I can’t top that.
My list of chasers;
A chicken. Don’t laugh, they’re quick and vengeful little buggers.
A billy goat. I barely escaped with my posterior intact… although now that I think of it, a little less of that wouldn’t be a bad thing.
A skunk. Thankfully they don’t have very good eyesight … I lost him behind a shrub.
A mockingbird. Never underestimate the ferocity of this bird. He used to dive bomb our poor cat on a daily basis.
A snapping turtle. Granted I didn’t have to run very fast with this one, but those jaws can snap your finger like a twig.
A bat. Was he actually chasing me? I don’t know, but he was trapped in our house and I didn’t take the time to find out.
And finally, an elk who chased me around our car. I was photographing a herd in the Smoky Mountain National Park from a far off, safe distance when a lone female came up from behind and let her displeasure be known.
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I don’t recommend that experience.
😳
So how about it? Who’s been chasing you….
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Because it appears I’m never going to run out of these.
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Here are mine:
Literally.
People say literally when they mean figuratively and it drives me nuts. “ It’s so hot I am literally on fire.” Unless I see flames shooting out of a body cavity? You meant figuratively.
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I could care less.
Could you? Then that means you cared in the first place. The proper phrasing is ‘I couldn’t care less’, please use it.
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Must not have been very important.
This one dates back to my childhood. Whenever I would forget something I wanted to tell my mother she would smugly utter those words and I always wanted to scream, “Now I remember! The kitchen is on fire.”
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So how about you? What words or phrases drive you nuts….
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Because deep down you want to.
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First, a few obvious ones –
You’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Leave the gun, take the cannoli.
You had me at hello.
Here’s looking at you kid.
Jaws, The Godfather, Jerry Maguire and Casablanca respectively.
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Everyone knows those, but can you guess these?
Put some Windex on it.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Are you not entertained?
Take a guess and then comment one of your own.
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I’ll go first..
Slept in my Pink Floyd T-shirt and woke up Comfortably Numb.
*It’s happened, I can’t lie.*
Slept in my Neil Young T-shirt and woke up on Sugar Mountain.
*I once slept alongside a box of Dunkin Donuts, so that’s close enough.*
Slept in my Rolling Stones T-shirt and woke up with my 19th Nervous Breakdown.
*Not yet, but there’s still time.*
Slept in my Grateful Dead T-shirt and woke up with Uncle John’s Band.
*No comment!*
( Extra points if you actually own the T-shirts as I do. )
So what did you wake up with?
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Stop groaning, just do it.
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I should have known nothing good would come from eating healthy! The 10th picture in my gallery is a screen shot of a popsicle alternative recipe.
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I haven’t tried it yet, and now I’m not sure I should.
So…. what’s going to do you in?
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Hmmm…
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How’d I do?
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten.
❤️
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Black Bacon.
Now that’s a kick ass band name if ever I heard one.
How about you?
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This one is going to be fun.
Trust me!
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It’s going to be hard to beat me for awful fashion trends, but please…. I beg you.
Try!
Acid washed jeans ruled in my day. And were made even more obnoxious by the fact that we wore them head to toe. Here I am sporting the required jean jacket ensemble while making friends with a crow.
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Not that bad you say? Then get a load of this…
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Me (on the right) and my future SIL wearing matching acid washed jean outfits, complete with multiple zippers. ( Yes, that’s a bottle of Tanqueray on the counter, gin and tonics may or may not have been consumed. Don’t judge. )
If most of my old high school photos hadn’t been destroyed in an attic leak 30 years ago, I would have flooded this post with personal pics instead of the following Google images. But let’s continue with the awful trends of my formative years.
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Track suits. Nothing I say can excuse them, the picture tells the tale.
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Jumpsuits. Preferably with hideous wide belts.
I’m ashamed to say this trend continued into my early married life as proven by this photo of me in France, wearing my Banana Republic flight suit with leopard print belt and beribboned hat.
Sigh.
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Anyone remember leg warmers?
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It was the 80’s. We were all feeling Jane Fonda’s burn.
So how about you? What horrible looks were you rocking in high school…
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River's world..... 