Tag Archives: trends

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F.Y.I.

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Since reaching the advanced age of 58, there are times I find myself woefully out of touch.

I don’t know many of the new artists on the charts and I’m sure I don’t have any of the hip new trends in my closet.

So it shouldn’t come as any surprise that I was also blissfully unaware which emojis are being used in the drug trade these days.

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The red maple leaf is the universal symbol for drugs. Has anyone told Canada?

While the money bags make sense for a dealer, and the 🍪 for large batch is cute in a disturbing kind of way…

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Someone needs to explain to me why Percocet and oxycodone rate a banana. Because at my advanced age bananas mean fiber and extra potassium… and I can’t see anyone getting high on that.

🍌

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Let’s play.

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This one is going to be fun.

Trust me!

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It’s going to be hard to beat me for awful fashion trends, but please…. I beg you.

Try!

Acid washed jeans ruled in my day. And were made even more obnoxious by the fact that we wore them head to toe. Here I am sporting the required jean jacket ensemble while making friends with a crow.

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Not that bad you say? Then get a load of this…

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Me (on the right) and my future SIL wearing matching acid washed jean outfits, complete with multiple zippers. ( Yes, that’s a bottle of Tanqueray on the counter, gin and tonics may or may not have been consumed. Don’t judge. )

If most of my old high school photos hadn’t been destroyed in an attic leak 30 years ago, I would have flooded this post with personal pics instead of the following Google images. But let’s continue with the awful trends of my formative years.

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Track suits. Nothing I say can excuse them, the picture tells the tale.

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Jumpsuits. Preferably with hideous wide belts.

I’m ashamed to say this trend continued into my early married life as proven by this photo of me in France, wearing my Banana Republic flight suit with leopard print belt and beribboned hat.

Sigh.

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Anyone remember leg warmers?

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It was the 80’s. We were all feeling Jane Fonda’s burn.

So how about you? What horrible looks were you rocking in high school…

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It’s that time of the month again….

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Good grief, no. Not that.

I’m talking about this time of the month:

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The oh shit, hasn’t that gift subscription expired yet time of the month.

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And as usual, the articles are of the highest journalistic integrity.

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Doesn’t seem like such a glamorous job now does it.

The latest trend in eye makeup is now on my things I never need to try because they’re stupid list.

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And because it’s apparently mandatory in every issue..

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Sex.

And while I’m decidedly pro sex, I think these helpful hints leave a lot to be desired.

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I can pretty much guarantee I want to wank your knob are six words that will never be uttered in our bedroom.

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No.

Mr. Cuddles will never be put in a compromising position. Especially that one.

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That’s just wrong.

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Things for which there are no reasonable explanations.

32 Comments

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Have you noticed the new trend in flour? They make it out of everything now. Back in my day you had Gold Medal and the only choices were 1 pound or 5. Now? There’s rice flour, almond flour, spelt flour and….

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Good grief, don’t people know the only acceptable alternative use of watermelon is margaritas?

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I saw this coffee table in Home Goods the other day and it made me wonder….

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Has caging misbehaving children and dinner guests now become acceptable?Because I’m fine with that.

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Crocs…the hideous abominations are everywhere.

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They’re basically the Honey Boo Boo of footwear and people need to stop wearing them.

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And fruit themed Crocs?

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Do nothing to alter my opinion of these pathetic plastic horrors. Please… for the love of all that’s holy, let these things die the natural death of outdated ugly footwear.

Like Jellies.

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They were hideous, but at least they had the decency to die.

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Sometimes I feel like I’m just phoning it in.

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There’s nothing like the internet to make you feel inadequate.

And while I consider myself a relatively good cook, photos of the latest trend in baking shared by a friend are making me doubt my commitment.

 

 

Because, to be honest….

 

 

This type of magic never occurs in my kitchen.

 

 

I can’t even blame it on not having the time…

 

 

Because that’s something I have plenty of right now.

 

 

So all I can say is …. stop.

 

 

Stop making the rest of us look like slackers.

 

 

Asshole.

Now you’re just showing off.

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I admit, it made me look.

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I walked by my window the other day and had to do a double take.

Across the road on our neighbor’s organic vegetable farm, the seasonal workers were weeding a garden patch. Most summers there are Mexican field hands, but because of the new immigration policies of He Who Will Remain Nameless… this year the workers are Jamaican.

 

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Now, I’ve never been to Jamaica.

 

 

But I’m going to go out on a limb here…

 

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And say this isn’t their new fashion trend.

 

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Yes, that is what you think it is.

 

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Cardboard.

 

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With a hole in the middle for your head.

 

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I particularly like the fact that he flipped up the cut out hole section.. and left it there. Like a pot lid.

 

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Jamaican cardboard hats.

Coming to a mall near you?

 

 

Remember… you saw it here first.