Tag Archives: reading

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Book memories.

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Retrieving our two boxes from the husband’s uncle’s attic last week resulted in a few tears from yours truly. Bittersweet memories overwhelmed me as I unpacked a few of my favorite childhood books.

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I’m not sure how I managed to hold on to these over the years, but flipping through Moldy Warp the Mole immediately transported me back to my father’s lap, listening to that story being read in his marvelously deep and melodic Scottish voice … and I admit my eyes started to leak. No matter how old I am, I’ll always be a daddy’s girl at heart.

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The other books in the box were all over the place subject wise. Civil War buff? Yup. Sap for everything James Herriot wrote? Most definitely.

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As evidenced by another childhood book…Man, Myth and Magic…. I was a strange child. This was a 24 volume series of the supernatural that came out in the ‘70’s. My mother refused to let me have it, so naturally I found book #1 and hid it under my bed.

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Judging from the current listing on eBay, I should have smuggled in the whole set.

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Bonk. A preview….

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The next book in my marvelously bizarre Mary Roach series is Bonk.

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And I should warn you, things are going to get extremely strange. If you’re the least bit squeamish about the subject of human sexuality I suggest you skip these posts because nothing is off limits.

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I loved Stiff in all its macabre glory… and when the topic is sex, you know Mary is going to bring it. Here’s a sneak peak at some of the chapter titles.

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Scientific research features heavily throughout the book.

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Of course they did.

If you’re up (so to speak) for a fascinating in depth look at sex, I promise you’ll learn some interesting tidbits, trivia, titillating trifles, facts about men, women and the lengths (so to speak) they’ll go to in the pursuit of pleasure.

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No doubt!

🤣

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Fuzz… the end.

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And so we reach the end of another series of highlights. I have to say, Mary Roach has really grown on me. I live for weird and wonderful facts and in this respect, she certainly is full of it.

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2×3 = 9,000,000? That is a completely mind boggling statistic. You would think even a rabbit has a headache now and then. Nine million bunnies in 3 years? That’s some serious fornicating my friends.

Sadly the end of the book dealt with all the horrible ways we humans react to what we perceive as an over abundance of wildlife. Simply put…if you get in our way? You’re toast.

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Well, that’s a bit extreme.

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Climate change, loss of habitat, deforestation, pesticides. We kill even when we don’t mean to.

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Seen at the Penguin Place private conservation reserve. The Yellow Eyed Penguin is endanged.

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Another beautiful creature whose time is almost up. Adapt to the damage we wreak upon the planet or perish.

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Neither choice is good. Even if you’re wearing pink go go boots.

😰

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Fuzz…. Part 6.

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Ever wonder why wild creatures are so often run over by cars? The roadkill count in my state is high and I can never figure out why seemingly clever animals always fall victim to large noisy vehicles.

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Mystery solved. Evolution just hasn’t caught up.

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I will now be distributing Cheer detergent to every hunter I know.

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When my husband worked for the Federal Aviation Administration drones were the bane of his existence. I’d love to have one for photography purposes, but his hatred runs deep.

Although this drone?

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Now that’s something special.

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I wonder if it would work for red squirrels…

😈

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Fuzz… part 5.

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For my friends of a certain age… did your mother ever force feed you castor oil? If so, be glad it was only a tablespoon and you weren’t on Mussolini’s bad side.

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Next up … a little story on something you should never do to increase sexual pleasure.

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Ouch! Not to mention eww.

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I knew that bitch had military experience! We’re doomed.

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You have to wonder what kind of little boy or girl fantasized about owning a company that specializes in these products. “What do you want to be when you grow up Susie/Sammy?” “A butt paste and douche distributor mommy. It will be so much fun!”

😳

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Fuzz … part 4.

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Have you ever seriously thought about dung? I can’t say I have, but clearly someone is taking note.

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Counting poop pellets? Well, everyone needs a hobby.

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I only have one word for that revelation….

Wow.

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While this graphic of weaponized coconuts is disturbing, one has to wonder why the cartoon father has grabbed mom, stolen junior’s lollipop and left junior to fend for himself.

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I know age has widened my circumference. I feel ya tree.

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Frass. A great word, but as any serious Scrabble player knows…. not worth wasting two S’s. I shall instead whip kerf out on my unsuspecting husband this weekend. K and F? Now you’re talking.

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Fuzz… part 3.

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At the turn of the century, Indian leopards developed a taste for human flesh. (If that’s not a great line to start a blog? I don’t know what is.)

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Pop a hot coal in grandma’s mouth and roll her down the hill? I know India is hot… but that’s cold.

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As much as I love all animals… (and I do! Weirdos like wombats, echidnas, and warthogs? Love ‘em all.) I can not stand monkeys. They’re shifty little bastards and this proves my point.

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Jet propelled ejaculate? Yet another reason to dislike monkeys…

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I’m sure that’s more than you ever wanted to know about jerking off a monkey, but I live to educate.

You’re welcome.

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Religion is a strange thing. When random rats start dropping from the sky? My first thought is not going to be a blessing, I can guarantee you that.

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This is wonderful news. I must move to Britain immediately! Red squirrels are in decline? It sounds like heaven.

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Fuzz… part 2.

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Elephant vs human. Who comes out on top, who’s squished to the depth of a pancake ? Mary travels to India to find out.

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If you know me, you know I had to find that engraving.

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A tad disappointing as dismemberments go, but hey, I tried.

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A shit differential! For 400 lbs a day? I hope it was double overtime equivalent.

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Proof that you can indeed be too drunk.

There’s a large section on elephants in this book including tips on which ones to avoid.

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Sounds like a lot of young males I’ve known.

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The elephant pension plan doesn’t sound too bad. Room and board with daily massages? That’s a damn sight better than Wal Mart I’m sure.

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Fuzz

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Stiff was delightfully bizarre. Gulp was disgusting but fascinating. I admit Spook was a tad disappointing. But now? There’s Fuzz.

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The new Mary Roach book that deals with human animal interaction.

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This book is fun and filled with quirky tidbits I’m going to enjoy sharing. Chapter one finds the author in Canada taking classes with WHART.

WHART. Wildlife-Human Attack Response Training taught by the British Columbia Conservation Officer Service.

First up? Examining mannequins that represent people who were killed/mauled by bear/cougar and trying to determine who did what.

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Ya gotta love Canada.

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Now I’ll never be able to eat a plum without thinking of this. Thanks Mary.

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Tampons. Useful any time of the month apparently.

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Bear print long johns? Geesh. That guy was just asking for it.

There was a large section on bears and bear attacks, which are actually quite rare… so in the interest of public service, I’ll share WHART’s best advice should you ever encounter one in the wild.

If a bear is threat displaying (pawing the ground, huffing) in an effort to intimidate you, it’s a bluff and you should back away slowly while speaking calmly to the animal. Maybe something like, “No worries Mr. Grizzly, this little ole blogger is going to sashay back to her car now and post about her near death experience. Follow my site for an awesome close up of those impressive teeth. Kudos to your dentist by the way, they really are pearly white.”

On the other hand, if the bear is in full predatory attack mode…never run. Open your jacket to look larger, yell, scream, throw rocks, stomp. If the bear starts to charge with his ears flat, you’re the one who needs to look scary. If this happens to me first thing in the morning when I wake up… pre hairdo and makeup? No problem. The bear doesn’t stand a chance.

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Spook… part 2.

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While Spook was a semi interesting read, I have to admit it wasn’t the chuckle a minute I was expecting. Perhaps the subject of death is beyond even Ms Roach’s power of snark.

There weren’t nearly as many blog worthy snippets, but here are a few I thought strange enough to include.

The early chapters talk a lot about the soul. What it is, where it is, how much it weighs, and the sometimes odd ways religions define and honor it.

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Porta potties for the dearly departed? That qualifies as odd in my book. And if your family neglects the weekly grocery run you have to eat your own poop from the beyond the grave? Clearly the Egyptians have a different idea of heaven.

Discussions of the soul’s origin are plentiful.

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Semen derived souls? Stop and ponder that for a moment.

Communicating with the dead covered a few chapters… with methods ranging from xrays, radios, EVP, as well as medium transference during a seance. These were all the rage at the turn of the century and as expected, charlatans soon took advantage. Levitating tables, ghostly apparitions and screaming banshees were all part of the show. One of the weirdest so called phenomenon? Ectoplasm. Which surprisingly looks a lot like wet spaghetti.

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Ectoplasm (from the Greek ektos, meaning “outside”, and plasma, meaning “something formed or molded”) is a term used in spiritualism to denote a substance or spiritual energy “exteriorized” by physical mediums.

From water soaked cheesecloth to cow intestine, mediums would do anything to draw a paying crowd.

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Well, almost anything.

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