.
Because I will never run out of it.
.
.
And they say size doesn’t matter.
Pfft!
.
.
I don’t know.
And honestly? I don’t want to know.
.
.
Why?
Just look at the photograph. These guys have attitude to spare…
.
.
Ouch.
I’m not sure it’s possible to receive a review worse than that.
.
.
Oh my.
.
.
Drunk? Perhaps…
American? I hate to say it, but probably .. she’s upholding the (not so proud) tradition of Yanks behaving badly in Europe.
🥴
.
Due to the nationwide shortage of toilet paper, I feel it’s necessary to share a little history.
As well as a helpful alternative in these troubling times.
You know the old saying, “When in Rome?”
Well……
The Ancient Romans were never bothered by a lack of tripe ply Charmin.
No, sir.
Not when they had their handy tersoriums.
I’ll pause for a moment to let you conjure a mental image of using one the next time you pay a visit.
Got it?
Alright then…. moving on.
Death by lion…. or swallowing a tersorium?
Sorry, but I’m going with the lion every time.
And in case you’re interested?
You should be thanking this man that you’re not outside searching for a stick right now.
Joseph C. Gayetty.
The inventor of modern toilet paper.
Corn cobs?
No thank you.
But if the Covid shortage continues, we’re all going to wish the Sears catalog was still being printed.
And now that I think about it….
Maybe I need to check the husband’s barn for this stuff. If anyone has some, it will be my other half.
Far be it for me to woo my own destruction.
There’s a school in Reykjavik, Iceland that teaches you how to spot elves?
I did, because….
Yes, you can enroll here and start learning all there is to know about trolls, fairies, gnomes and other assorted mythical creatures.
Did you know...
The tongues of flamingos were a common delicacy at ancient Rome feasts?
Apparently Nero thought so as well.
Did you know.…
The word misteltoe derives from the Anglo-Saxon words mistel and tan?
Mistel means dung…. and tan means twig. So the next time you steal a kiss at Christmas? You’ll be doing it under a dung twig.
Can’t get much more romantic than that.
Did you know….
The band Steely Dan got it’s name from a William Bourroughs book called Naked Lunch.
Steely Dan III was a strap on dildo.
Which gives an entirely new meaning to this meme.
(Yes, all the above statements are true.
Knowledge is a wonderful thing!)
I did, because…
Did you know…
The phrase “hands down” (as in “He won that game hands down.”) was first used in the 19th century to describe a horse racing victory? It signified the jockey was so far ahead he could drop the reins and relax his arms.
Well, not quite.
Did you know….
Bruno Mars played an Elvis impersonator as a child in the 1992 film Honeymoon in Vegas?
It’s true.
Did you know….
Mosquito repellants do not repel, they hide.
The spray blocks a mosquito’s sensors so they don’t even know you’re there.
Did you know…
During WWII, America tried to train bats to drop bombs.
Silly Americans, what were we thinking?
Bats won’t even play fetch.
Did you know….
The Roman emperor Caligula made his horse a Senator.
Maybe we should try this….
It can’t be any worse.
Did you know…
The Bible has been translated into Klingon?
Well, you do now.
River's world..... 