Tag Archives: learning

Update…. You’re Never Too Old To Learn.

April 23, 2020 Rivergirl 20 Comments

I ran across a catalog for continuing education the other day, and because I used to have a ~~totally ridiculous~~ blog series about this, I had to look.

The series started here back in August of ’18 with a class on Spoonbending.

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Shows what you know Junior. There’s a whole class devoted to that spoon.

Yes. An actual college class, I’m not lying.

(Or drinking… go figure.)

So when I saw this current class being offered, it simply begged to be blogged about.

Spoon Carving Level 2
Up your spoon carving skills and build on what was learned
in your previous spoon-carving class. This time around you’ll
carve a deeper serving spoon, as well as practice additional
refining and finishing. Prerequisites: Previous woodworking
experience or Spoon Carving, Beginner. Material fee of $15
included in the price of the course.

Wednesday, beginning Oct. 16, from 6 to 9 p.m. for 3 weeks

Cost: $75

Clearly our college is still obsessed with spoons.

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Well, that may be a different class entirely.

“Up your spoon carving skills?”

Who said I had any to begin with.

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“Carve a deeper serving spoon?”

Hell, that’s totally worth $75.

And I’m sorry…

But you know there can only be one possible instructor for this class –

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Did you know….

April 6, 2020 Rivergirl 46 Comments

There’s a school in Reykjavik, Iceland that teaches you how to spot elves?

I did, because….

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Yes, you can enroll here and start learning all there is to know about trolls, fairies, gnomes and other assorted mythical creatures.

Admit it.

You want to go.

Did you know...

The tongues of flamingos were a common delicacy at ancient Rome feasts?

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Apparently Nero thought so as well.

Did you know.…

The word misteltoe derives from the Anglo-Saxon words mistel and tan?

Mistel means dung…. and tan means twig. So the next time you steal a kiss at Christmas? You’ll be doing it under a dung twig.

Can’t get much more romantic than that.

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Did you know….

The band Steely Dan got it’s name from a William Bourroughs book called Naked Lunch.

Steely Dan III was a strap on dildo.

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Which gives an entirely new meaning to this meme.

(Yes, all the above statements are true.

Knowledge is a wonderful thing!)

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Wording.

April 3, 2020 Rivergirl 31 Comments

I love to word.

I love to read them, write them, and learn them.

And I love weirdo words most of all.

When you travel you hear words unique to certain regions and words used in different contexts.

Words!

Ya gotta love them.

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So when I saw this the other day?

I knew I had to share.

I admit I’ve been known to make use of dingleberry, dicombobulated and kerfuffle now and then…. although I’m not nearly old enough to drop whippersnapper into a conversation any time soon.

In Maine we tend to say things are wicked. As in “That margarita is wicked good” or “That beer is wicked cold”.

We also can lose control of our cars and end up in the puckerbrush.

Mainers say ayuh when we mean yes.

We call submarine sandwiches Italians.

If you’re cute? We’ll call you cunnin’.

If something is the best? We’ll say it’s finest kind.

If you live far away from town? That would be the willy wacks.

And if you live really far away from town? That’s bumblefuckEgypt.

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So educate me.

What words do you use in your backyard?

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Part 2… of something I started a while ago then promptly forgot about.

January 5, 2020 Rivergirl 29 Comments

Language.

By definition, the method of human communication.

Glorious varieties abound, so let’s take a look at some foreign words you may not be familiar with… and their meanings.

Shemomedjamo (Georgian)

You know when you’re really full, but your meal is just so delicious, you can’t stop eating it? The Georgians feel your pain. This word means, “I accidentally ate the whole thing.”

I don’t know about you..

But I have totally shemomedjamo’d in my day.

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Backpfeifengesicht (German)

A face badly in need of a fist.

Oh, I think we’ve all met a few of those.

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Faamiti (Samoan)

To make a squeaking sound by sucking air past the lips in order to gain the attention of a dog or child.

I’d just call it a whistle, but who am I to argue with a Samoan?

(Okay… so I was looking for a GIF of a big bad Samoan warrior when this popped up. Big bad Samoan bat will kick your *ss!)

Gigil (Filipino)

The urge to pinch or squeeze something that is irresistibly cute.

I have this every time I watch the movie Magic Mike…

But maybe that’s just me.

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Lagom (Swedish)

Maybe Goldilocks was Swedish? This slippery little word is hard to define, but means something like, “Not too much, and not too little, but juuuuust right.”

*See above comment and picture of Magic Mike cast*

Zeg (Georgian)

It means “the day after tomorrow.” OK, we do have “overmorrow” in English, but when was the last time someone used that?

Never.

No one has ever used overmorrow in my presence…. and I want you all to start right now.

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(Proof positive there is a meme for everything)

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I think this has to be a new series.

September 12, 2019 Rivergirl 39 Comments

I read an article the other day that was so good it might need to become a blog series.

It’s about words.

Stop that.

It’s going to be great, I promise.

English is a funny language and apparently if it’s not your mother tongue, can be quite difficult to learn. So naturally it stands to reason there would be a large collection of foreign words with no direct English equivalent.

Let’s explore that.

Kummerspeck (German)

Excess weight gained from emotional overeating.

Literally, grief bacon.

Grief bacon!

It’s official.

Kummerspeck is now my new favorite word.

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Do I like bacon?

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Indeed I do.

Do I care that it’s bad for you?

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No. I do not.

2. Mencolek (Indonesian)

The old trick where you tap someone lightly on the opposite shoulder from behind to fool them.

Where was this word when I was young?

I totally slayed Mencolek in the 3rd grade.

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3. Seigneur-terraces (French)

Coffee shop dwellers who sit at tables a long time, but spend very little money.

Funny….

In English we just call them cheap.

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4. Slampadato (Italian)

Someone addicted to the UV glow of tanning salons.

I think we all know one of those.

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And finally..

5. Pana Po’o (Hawaiian)

To scratch your head in order to help you remember something you’ve forgotten.

This is not a technique I’m familiar with, but then I’ve never been to Hawaii so what do I know?

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But to hell with remembering where the keys are …

This is pure brilliance.

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You’re never too old to learn… Succulent Picture Frame.

September 3, 2019 Rivergirl 26 Comments

Gather round students…. the Maine ~~is this for real?~~ Adult Education classes continue.

If you live in Maine you can learn some wonderful things. So far in this riveting series we’ve had:

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

You’re never to old to learn…. Tin Cans.

You’re never too old to learn…. Knotweed Flutes.

And today we continue with Succulent Picture Frames.

(Disclaimer – This class does not require sucking. But I think that’s offered at PT’s Showclub in Portland.)

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Course description:

Succulent Picture Frame

Having live plants around as we transition into fall will brighten every day and beautify your home. You will set up your own succulent picture frame with a variety of plants to create your own living art! You will also receive instruction on how to care for this gorgeous creation to enjoy it all year long. The price of the course includes all materials to make one succulent picture frame. Materials fee of $60 included in the price of the course. No discounts.

A frame. Made out of plants.

My first question is why?

Don’t get me wrong, I love plants… they’re beautiful and versatile.

As well as great disguises when you’re stalking an ex.

They can even rid your house of pesky flies… I get it.

Though we all know that can go horribly wrong…

But hell, I can hardly be bothered to dust my current picture frames, now they want me to water one?

No.

Because while I have lovely outdoor gardens, and a house full of healthy green leafy plants?

I will kill each and every succulent I touch.

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I must over water….. or love them too much.

Because yes, apparently that’s a thing.

So if I want my walls to be covered in framed plants?

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I’ll just dye my cobwebs green and call it good.

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Who knew?

August 30, 2019 Rivergirl 29 Comments

I did, because…

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Did you know…

The phrase “hands down” (as in “He won that game hands down.”) was first used in the 19th century to describe a horse racing victory? It signified the jockey was so far ahead he could drop the reins and relax his arms.

Well, not quite.

Did you know….

Bruno Mars played an Elvis impersonator as a child in the 1992 film Honeymoon in Vegas?

It’s true.

Did you know….

Mosquito repellants do not repel, they hide.

The spray blocks a mosquito’s sensors so they don’t even know you’re there.

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Did you know…

During WWII, America tried to train bats to drop bombs.

Silly Americans, what were we thinking?

Bats won’t even play fetch.

Did you know….

The Roman emperor Caligula made his horse a Senator.

Maybe we should try this….

It can’t be any worse.

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Did you know…

The Bible has been translated into Klingon?

Well, you do now.

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Still drinking, still knowing…

May 14, 2019 Rivergirl 53 Comments

Still have to share my ridiculously useless knowledge.

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Did you know….

1. The little dot over a lower case i is called a tittle.

(There won’t be any memes to accompany that precious nugget of information.

Google image searching for the word “tittle” led me in some very disturbing directions.)

2. An octopus will eat it’s own arms if it gets hungry enough.

But Hell….

I think we’ve all been tempted to do that at one time or another, no?

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3. In 1900 the third leading cause of death was diarrhea.

Aren’t you glad you started reading this blog?

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4. Winnie the Pooh was based on a real life female bear named Winnie who lived in the London Zoo.

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5. The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by the Egyptians in 2000 BCE.

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I don’t know about you, but crocodile dung would definitely be enough to kill the mood for me.

6. Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.

Really?

Orchids I could understand. They’re fussy, creepy, high maintenance flowers that look like they want to bite off your finger.

But ferns?

They’re delightful..

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7. Buzz Aldrin’s mother’s maiden name was Moon.

How’s that for serendipity?

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8. If you live in Michigan, it is illegal to put a skunk in your boss’s desk.

Sorry Detroiters…

I’m sure that’s very disappointing news.

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The greatest story ever… shown?

May 7, 2019 Rivergirl 39 Comments

While I’ve been known to Bitmoji on occasion….

And used to see the appeal of texting miniature versions of myself to friends…

I read something this afternoon that made me do a double take.

Yes.

There is now a Bitmoji Bible.

“In the year of our Lord 2019, someone recreated the Bible through Bitmoji. The Bitmoji Bible is more of a collection of a handful of stories found in Jewish and Christian holy scriptures than an actual translation told exclusively through Bitmoji. While much of the actually philosophical passages aren’t included — how are you supposed to discuss promises of salvation through a few cartoon characters? — you might recognize more well known myths, like the story of David and Goliath. “

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Now I’m not a religious woman, and I admit to never having read the good book cover to cover…. but I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess David never said “Hey Boo” to the giant Philistine.

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And if there was a Garden of Eden?

I somehow doubt their trees were in pots.

“Today’s children are more likely to read a text message than a book,” co-creator Daniel Eckler said through Twitter DM. “Given the Bible has been translated into more than 3000 languages, I thought it should be translated into one of the most popular contemporary languages.”

Jesus wept.

Repeat after me…

Bitmoji is not a contempary language, it’s a collection of bad cartoons.

Quoting an excerpt from Genesis about the whole world speaking the same language, Eckler believes it’s “important to speak to people in their language.”

So help me out here…

Is that Joseph?

And is he spitting his coffee out because Mary just told him about the immaculate conception?

He notes that his goal isn’t necessarily to evangelize, but rather to open the door to higher thinking for people who may not already be interested in it — he references biblical redemption themes in Star Wars and The Matrix. “Not to say they’re substitutes, but as long as people are seeking spiritual truths,” Eckler said. “I think they’ll find them where they find them.”

Let me get this straight…. to understand Christianity I don’t have to read the bible.

I just have to sit through The Empire Strikes Back?

Well if that’s the case…