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A quick look at what’s happening in my corner of the world.
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That’s just… wrong.
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Alpaca Black Gold. Come and get it!
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I buy grain and seed from this store and must say the welcoming committee is quite friendly.
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If you ever see this beer? Drink it. Weird and wonderful… it’s tart with a hint of citrusy sweetness and you actually get a graham cracker crust after note. It’s bizarre, but awesome.
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They’re everywhere and I always wonder… does anyone really buy these things?
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Because absolutely nothing could wrong with installing a swing set/jungle gym for the kids on your bedroom door frame. Nope. Not a thing.
Though physics will tell you that child is in for a rude awakening quite soon.
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You want to teach your children to walk on turtle steps? Good grief people, you know the next thing the little hooligans will be doing is looking for actual turtles to step on.
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And then there’s this, lipstick for mature women.
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Coincidence that the packaging is covered in crazy cat lady graphics?
I think not.
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Because my life is a never ending series of nothing important.
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A 48 inch pike. While this man looks proud, they’re actually an invasive species that are destroying our lake’s natural ecosystems. People catch and release because no one wants to eat them.
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A blackberry lime sour from Mast Landing brewery. Pink, tart and strangely creamy. Yum!
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Our local pub has started serving Naan flatbreads. Sweet potato, bacon, caramelized onions, blue cheese with a honey maple drizzle. Double yum!
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Our resident fox is coming earlier in the evening to beat the skunks and raccoons to the buffet.
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We’ve had nothing but rain all month and our lawn is really getting torn up by the deer herd. Going to be a lot of yard work in our future.
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Warning:
This book will be not be for everyone. Graphic (and often sarcastic) excerpts dealing with human sexuality will follow. Nothing is off limits. If that’s not your cup of tea, there’s no shame in bowing out now and exiting stage left. But if you stay and are insulted by the content? Kindly keep your moral outrage to yourself… I did warn you.
Still here?
Then buckle up and let’s begin.
The first thing that struck me while reading this book was how many people have actively researched sex. Scientifically, psychologically and oddly enough physically. Masters and Johnson were among the most famous….
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Of course he did.
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If you’re still here, I warn you that’s far from the weirdest thing you’ll read in this series.
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Pyrex butt plugs. You’ll never look at your casserole dish the same way again, I know.
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Corn dogs are forever dead to me now. Not a huge loss in my culinary catalog, but still.
🤣
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I think I may have mentioned my husband’s obsession with crap useless vintage items. I’ve spent nearly four decades watching him sort through dusty boxes at yard sales, flea markets and antique stores…. but last week he surprised even me.
When we moved back to Maine 20 years ago he had to start a new job before we sold our house, so I stayed down south for a few months while he bunked with a relative. Since he didn’t want to make the trip empty handed, he filled his truck with boxes and stored them in an uncle’s attic. I thought we’d collected all those boxes long ago, but after taking his uncle out to lunch last week we were told some of them were still upstairs.
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Did we find the boxes? Yes, after 3 seconds of scanning from the top step I pointed them out. Did that stop my treasure hunting husband from searching someone else’s junk for a heretofore unknown copy of the constitution or a Honus Wagner rookie card? No. It did not.
I’m happy to report he found nothing but junk which thankfully stayed where it was. And after opening our leftover boxes, I would have been happy to leave some of those there as well. They were heavy as hell and mostly filled with books and clothes.
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It was a bit like a time capsule. My Pat Conroy phase reared it’s head.. and 20 years later I had to wonder why I felt the need to schlepp those all the way to Maine. But it was when I examined the clothes that a little piece of me died.
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Because it was at that moment I realized I am literally twice the woman I used to be, and not in a good way.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten helped me sort when we got home, though to be honest it wasn’t a tough job.
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Not one single thing fit. I mean, hell… it wasn’t even close. If there’s anything more depressing than being smacked in the face with your weight gain by a box full of size sixes and eights, I don’t know what it is.
😫
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Oh, well. I did manage to dig out a few pieces of long lost jewelry … and they don’t care what size I am.
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I’m sure it’s flattering to be famous and have things named after you. Buildings, cars, fashion trends, cocktails …. all good. But millipedes?
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You have to wonder if an old boyfriend is behind that.
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Now that’s my kind of fundraiser! A 12 year bottle of Pappy can go for $1,400-$2,000 a pop. Even I’d grab a hammer for that….
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These people are so clueless it hurts. They have no idea the trouble they’ve invited into their home… because trust me, those oh so cute little darlings won’t be satisfied with the porch railing for long.
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Remember back in the day when there used to be dozens of airlines to choose from when traveling? It seemed like every geographic region had dozens of independent companies ready and willing to have you fly their friendly skies. Now they’ve all been bought out, merged into giant companies or died a slow death trying to compete. I was reading an article the other day about this decided lack of choice and came across a few airlines I was completely unaware of at their time of operation.
So tell me, did you ever fly Hooters Air?
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Yes. This actually existed and I’m flabbergasted it passed me by.
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I can’t say I would have been racing to the ticket counter but still, color me surprised. The famous wings weren’t offered as an in flight snack and though it flew to 15 cities at its peak, the venture only lasted 3 years before pulling the plug and grounding the girls for good.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, there was an airline you couldn’t pay me to board.
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The only flight offered was going to be a three times a week hop from Miami to Jerusalem, but there was a plaque of the Ten Commandments on the back of every seat.. so Amen! Unfortunately for Jesus the company failed to get FAA approval for airplane modifications and the delay caused such friction between the co owners they accused each other of being in league with the devil. I’m afraid this particular Lord never got off the ground.
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River's world..... 