Ode to a Cheeto.

 

You can’t improve upon perfection, so why do they try?

Witness the Cheeto.

The guilty pleasure snack everyone loves, but no one will admit to eating. With the texture of fine styrofoam and that glorious radioactive neon orange dust… how can you resist?

 

images

 

And yes, I confess.

I have been known to squirrel away my bag in the back of the coat closet so no one else can eat them.

 

 

So why?

Why would my girlfriend offer this pale excuse of a substitute and think I would approve?

 

IMG_E9073

 

Yes, she’s the same one who put kale chips with the french onion dip at her party.

And we all know how I feel about kale.  So what’s up with Kale… and why does everyone want me to eat it?

But… Cheetos, made out of beans?

 

 

That’s just wrong.

(And trust me… beans are not better. These things tasted like crunchy industrial sewage.)

Leave me and my Cheetos alone!

And bury my dust covered corpse accordingly.

 

imagesGVBHN0NW

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

 

In my continuing effort to enlighten…

Let’s dive a little deeper into continuing education.

 

Untitled

 

Last week’s spoon bending was a hit,  You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

And while this week’s class may be a little Maine-centric…. isn’t that half the fun?

So grab your taters and let’s go to school.

 

 

***

Spud Night – I’ve Got My Eyes on You!

If you are a Mainer (or from away) who is stuck in a potato rut, you will want to join us! We will learn how to choose the correct potato variety for use, see and taste many grown varieties and taste Roasted Fingerling potatoes. The class will make Swiss Rosti Potatoes, warm German Potato salad and Sweet Potato Puree with Smoked Paprika. The evening will be both demonstration and hands on. Bring a peeler and sealed tubs to take home leftovers (if there are any!)

$10 material fee included. No discounts

****

Again, yes. This is real.

There is actually a course on potatoes.

 

d44bc0ab-0137-47d4-ad43-7fd0455939fd

 

And admit it, you’re stuck in a potato rut.

We all are.

Hell, even Mr. Potato Head needs an update now and then.

 

 

Look how downright creepy he started out.

 

 

Would you let your child on the playground with that moustache twirling tater?

Of course not, so grab your peeler and get to class.

Thurs, Oct 25, 6-9 PM

1 Session

 

images7MID6O97

 

 

I have piles.

 

 

 

 

No, not that kind of piles…. the remodel the garage type piles.

There are piles to go to the dump…

 

IMG_8999

 

Piles that the neighbor across the street might want.

 

IMG_9001

 

There are big piles.

 

IMG_9003

 

And little piles.

 

IMG_9007

 

And piles that the husband might want to use for something, someday… which really means never.

 

IMG_9002

 

That’s entirely too many piles!

If we were better acquainted,  you’d know how crazy this makes me.

 

Organized-Meme-33

 

 

And if all those piles aren’t enough to make me  stab my husband with a fork  twitch, there’s this one:

 

IMG_9005

 

Which interferes with my late afternoon summer reading.

And that… can not be tolerated.

 

 

 

 

 

And then there was (more) beer… Part 2.

 

Our second brewery of the day was a place that came highly recommended. It got great reviews, and was said to be a “must visit”…so we did.

 

IMG_9052

 

Oxbow is a larger organization with multiple locations and wider distribution, so I was expecting it to outshine Odd Alewives.

It didn’t.

 

IMG_9055

 

Tucked away in the woods of Newcastle, it was rustic and a little bit rednecky.

 

imagesV2WR9QHI

 

Well, I didn’t hear banjo music…

But the place was a bit of a mess.

 

IMG_9058

 

And the rest rooms?

 

IMG_9057

 

Not what a girl wants to see when she’s been drinking beer and riding a motorcycle all day.

 

 

But, we were there.

And there was beer, so we  didn’t have to but I made them  had to try it all.

 

IMG_9053

 

Eight 4 ounce samplers of dishwater later… I still hadn’t found one I  would order full sized.  How was that possible?

The one on the end was called Magenta and was made with… are you ready?… grape juice.

 

 

It smelled like sweet grape candy and tasted like  fermented pigs feet, sour piss, rotted muskrat carcass  I don’t know what.

But trust me, it was bad.

I ended up finishing everyone’s samplers, because bad or not… beer is a terrible thing to waste…. but I was thinking of alternate uses as I drank.

 

4_Practical_Uses_for_Bad_Beer_Header

 

And then, since our friends had a long ride home, we saddled up and headed out.

 

IMG_E9056

 

And bad beer aside…

It really was a lovely day.

 

IMG_E9059 (2)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then there was beer…. Part 1.

 

We love craft beer, and we love discovering quirky new breweries. It’s a rapidly growing industry in Maine and we tend to take full advantage.

 

DkqDSNSU8AEe5i6

 

First stop on Sunday was Odd Alewives in Waldoboro.

An alewife is a fish.

 

alewife_photo

 

And thankfully, there weren’t any in the beer.

This was a brand new, small batch brewery run out of a renovated 1850’s barn on a young couple’s farm.

 

IMG_9037

 

It was literally on their front lawn.

 

IMG_9038

 

And absolutely not motorcycle friendly.  A steep gravel  (not good!)  driveway and a sloping parking lot is not what 2 wheels and 850lbs wants to find.

 

IMG_9039 (2)

 

But the brewery was wonderful, with a lovely laid back vibe.

 

IMG_9049

 

And the tasting room/bar was fun.

 

IMG_9046

 

Of course my purist husband looked like this….

 

 

When he saw they had painted the old barn board floors….

 

IMG_9048

 

But after a few samplings, he got over it.

 

IMG_9040

 

We did flights and tried all they had on tap before choosing.

 

IMG_9045

 

The Buzz and Blue were delightfully light and refreshing, while the Spell was deep and full bodied.

 

IMG_9047

 

There was live folk music, and it really felt like you were just hanging at a friend’s house knocking back a few. I wanted to take my beer and walk around the farm gardens…. but I was out voted and we moved on to brewery #2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

All work and no play….

 

Yeah, to hell with that.

Sunday found us blowing off some steam on 2 wheels.

 

IMG_9027

 

We headed up the coast with some friends for a little scenery…

(And a lot of craft beer.)

First stop was East Boothbay and one of the best coastal roads around. There were a few too many tourists to make a great video… but you get the idea.

 

 

It really is a beautiful spot.

 

IMG_9016

 

(Did I mention there was beer?)

Our friends are new Maine residents, so they really enjoyed the tour.

 

IMG_9022

 

(And the beer)

Boothbay is oceanfront living at it’s best.

 

IMG_9035

 

And it was perfect weather for riding.

(Not to mention beer)

 

IMG_9036

 

Next up?

Beer.

 

Because garages need facelifts too.

 

Work continues on the garage, and the paper walls are still a nightmare.

 

IMG_8950

 

Seriously, wth?

 

IMG_8952

 

The fact that it all has to be replaced with plywood means more time and money and work…

 

IMG_8981

 

And my instruction  to the husband to stop napping on the job was not well received.

Go figure.

 

IMG_8565

 

We turned the corner and I had to say goodbye to my beautiful daisies.

 

IMG_8971

 

Yeah, that was depressing.

But not as bad as the husband refusing to heed my advice to clean out the wood shed before he removed the panels…

 

IMG_8963 (2)

 

And having cement blocks fall on his toes.

I tried not to snicker.

Really, I did.

 

 

So, the woodshed was left pretty much like this.

 

IMG_8973

 

And progress was made elsewhere.

 

IMG_E8984

 

The siding doesn’t exactly match the house, but in this light, it’s pretty close.

 

IMG_E8986.JPG

 

And we’re getting there.

One wall at a time.

Dear unknown artist….

 

I live in Maine.

And I’m a Red Sox fan.

(Note to out of staters – this is non negotiable. Yankee fans will be shot on sight.)

But this?

Towering over me as I ate dinner the other night?

Not cool.

 

 

I’m guessing subtlety isn’t your strong suit….

But let me leave you with just one word:

Proportion.

Yours truly,

The unfortunate diner who sat in the shadow of these Sasquatch sized mammary glands for far too long.