Tag Archives: weirdness

Stiff… the finale.


It shouldn’t surprise you to learn that it took me longer to blog about this book than it did to read it.



To be honest, I blew through it in a day…. but I figured not everyone would enjoy that high a level of corpse saturation, so I’ve spread the snippets out over time.



Placenta cocktail?

I can honestly say even I will never be that desperate for a drink.



Though I could totally rock that hat..



Powdered human penis?

The key words here are “taken with alcohol”. Geesh, I would hope so.



And to think the only thing my husband took home all these years was post it notes.


Pandemic humor.

Go ahead, laugh.

It’s better than the alternative.

Have you ever wondered how it will feel when we eventually  (hopefully!)  get back to normal?

I’m not sure I ever want a stranger closer than 6 feet again.

This could be a real problem if Aunt Jemima products are going to disappear…

I totally need that mask.

Yeah, we kind of do.

Well that goes without saying.

Personally, I’d prefer 2 continents.

One day only!

Better hurry.

It’s all about priorities.

And finally for my horoscope loving readers….

Because it’s my duty to share these things.


You can thank me later.



I was flipping through a magazine the other day and saw this little blurb of a review.



Needless to say, I was perplexed.


Exfoliating ass masks?

Excuse me while I crawl back under my rock where such things don’t exist.



Yes…. it’s a real thing.

And according to the description? Will get your behind ready for prime time.



Here’s a helpful product review.



So if you’re looking for a new beauty regime… or if your posterior just needs a little freshening up?

You know who to thank.

Never let it be said….


We have boring neighbors.

Looking out the window last week I saw this:




Thinking I was sober…

I found another window to be sure.




Okay, still there.




Yes, there really was a T Rex walking up our neighbor’s driveway.


Maybe he was on his way to the store….




Maybe he was just out strolling with a friend.




Although what the hell that neon green thing was supposed to be has yet to be determined.




Never a dull moment as Casa River.


Moving day should not include random body parts.


We helped a friend move last weekend.

Because… yes.




Moving is hard work.




There’s lots of stuff to pack…




Lots of stuff to lift…




And lots of stuff to push across homemade scrap wood ramps.




What do you mean that’s not how professionals do it?

The silly thing weighed a ton and it got there.

Do we really care how?

No. We do not…

What we do care about is finding random body parts.

Tell me you saw it.

In the picture with my husband carrying the bright blue garden bench? Go back and look, I’ll wait.




A random leg.

And it wasn’t the only one.




The damned things were popping up everywhere.





A wee bit.

But some of our friends are as well, so it’s to be expected….




It got to be a running joke about where they’d turn up….

So at the end of the day when we were relaxing with beer and bowls of chili?




Naturally we needed a centerpiece.




And P.S….

Just for the record –

As much as I wanted to move their 442 Olds right into my garage at home?




I restrained myself from stealing the keys when they weren’t looking.

That my dear, is the very definition of friendship.



Weirdo Christmas trees.


I have a friend  ( Yes, I really do have them. They exist! And not just in my mind, so there.)  who is quite crafty, artistic and creative. This extends to her holiday decorating and every year she has a different Christmas tree.

And when I say different?

I mean different.

One year, it was made of driftwood.


003 (375x500)


The next?  Pine cones.


Copy (2) of 004


Then giant free floating balls.




Which aren’t usually the balls one wants to have, but these were pretty cool.




Some years there are normal trees…


1 (375x500)


Which are almost disappointing.


b 002 (500x375)


But then we’re back to fabulously odd.


Copy (1) of 012


And the next year there’s a canopy tree hovering over your head.

One season it was made from recycled CD’s and put out the light of 100 suns.




(Seriously, this thing could have powered a small town.)




When you visit my friend’s house at Christmas, you never know what you’ll get… which is kind of a hoot.

So we went over last weekend and saw the 2018 version.




To which my reaction was…. meh.

Slightly Seussian with the bare branch and one green ball, but not the most inspirational.

Oh well, there’s always next year.








Let’s talk about poop.


( Bet you’re wishing I was still on vacation, eh?)

I was Christmas shopping with a friend the other day and we noticed a disturbing trend…




I passed off the first sighting of a poop themed gift as a fluke.




But then I saw this…




And this.




And while I admit a hovering pile of poop drone might be inventive, even slightly creative….. I can’t honestly say I want one flying overhead anytime soon.

I also do not want to stack, or write with poop.




And if that just wasn’t enough poop to satisfy you…

How about some pink girly poop?




Made all the more disturbing by the cryptic packaging.

What the hell is going on there….

Is that a mouth with teeth?

Are you supposed to chew the poop?

Or is the poop coming out of the nostrils?





And mind you these were not seen in toy stores, where at least a fondness for poop could be explained….but in adult sections of book stores and various department stores in the mall.

Anyway you look at it, it’s disgusting. Or at the very least… childishly stupid. I gave up potty humor at age 4, you should too.

I know the world may seem like it’s going down the toilet lately, but this is one gift giving idea I hope gets flushed.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program…..

Vacation posts are over,  (for a while anyway)  and it’s time to get back to normal, every day nonsensical blogging.

I have lots of odd stuff to catch up on , so let’s get started shall we?

#1…  A while back my husband had his truck restored and painted. It cost a fortune, but he loves that old thing. And apparently, so did this robin.


Every morning at 6:00am ( before the snow started to fly) this bird showed up.


He’d hop all over the bed, then the cab… pooping on everything.


He got very aggressive and fought off other birds if they flew too near.


The little bastard even dive bombed me a few times.


#2…  And speaking of dinosaurs,


We had a visiting Pterodactyl.

(Okay, it was a raven I named Roderick, but damn. He was big.)


*Note to self – buy bigger bird bath.*


#3… I saw this in a parking lot last month –

IMG_0875 (Edited)

Clearly this man had been waiting for a long time.


#4… Good news!

I finally found a pair of jeans made for women who eat too many double stuff Oreos  real women.


#5… Remember the mutant brain abomination that was growing on my driveway?


Well, we came home from vacation….


And found it dead.


It had turned brown, shriveled up and fallen off it’s stalk. Which was quite a relief.

Until I started thinking that maybe it just….


#6….. You know it’s Christmas time in Maine when you see the holiday trees popping up everywhere.


Of course, in Maine… trees are made from lobster crates, so make of that what you will.

#7…. And speaking of Christmas, here’s a great gift idea from Vermont.


Because nothing says I love you better than a wheel of cheese, and a cow you don’t have to clean up after.

You’re welcome.

Bugs and dinner.



Please note I did not say bugs for dinner. That would just be weird.

Although, admittedly…. a 3 piece cockroach musical ensemble would have been stellar.




No… I’m talking about the last (and best!) part of the Fairbanks Museum.

Bug art!

I turned the final corner, and came face to mandible face with this beauty.




Isn’t it wonderful? I would totally display this on my front lawn, and perhaps pet it as I walked by.




As you can see, it’s a little large for the living room.




So while the husband was examining some ancient knives and swords, ( He glanced at the bugs and kept on walking. Go figure. ) I delved deep into art made from bugs.




Apparently it’s pretty rare, as evidenced by the fact there were only 8 pieces.

And if you’re not a fan of the creepy crawly…



You might want to scroll down to dinner… which thankfully, was bug free.

But if you’ve always wanted to see a beetle and moth likeness of Abraham Lincoln?






And George Washington?




I’m your girl.






Yes, those really are all bugs.




And bug art really is a thing.




Ain’t it grand?






General Pershing thinks so.




And so do I.




Now for the (boring in comparison) food part of the blog.




Dinner was at a highly recommended little place called The Creamery….




Which, to be honest, felt like someone’s basement.




The bar was full of locals who gave us the stink eye as we walked in…




But the margaritas were large and tasty….




And while the menu was small, everything we had was perfect.




From the crispy green bean appetizer….




To the goat cheese and maple vinaigrette salad…




My fresh, succulent baked scallops with stir fried vegetable medley…




And the husband’s perfectly prepared shrimp scampi.

I would have loved to try their dessert but…




I hate when that happens.






Stay Spot. Stay….


The Fairbanks museum has something for everyone.




Samurai helmets?




And swords?








And for those who are as fascinated as I am with the rich  history of Japan…




There were dinosaur fossils…




And mastodon obedience training manuals….




Somehow I doubt that turned out well.




There were more dead fine feathered friends..




And a display about sheep back in 1840…




Which begs for the old saying –

Vermont! Where men were men.

And the sheep were afraid.




Although from the look of the numbers, maybe the men should have been afraid.



The rotating exhibit was a collection of photography from rural Vermont.




They were quite good, but I won’t bore with you with photos of photos…




Except for this one.






That was my reaction too.

I was beginning to rethink my  “Isn’t Vermont a quaint place to live?”  attitude. I mean, really? Who cuts off their wife’s hands, nails them to the barn door and then photographs them?





Slightly mollified, although vowing never to look at a muskrat the same way… we moved on.

Inching ever closer to the famous bug art.




Yes, apparently it’s quite famous in these parts.




And in case you just can’t wait till tomorrow’s post…




Here are a few beauties to keep you company.


IMG_1496 (2)


(The bugs, not me.)




You’re welcome.