Tag Archives: weirdness

Let’s talk about poop.

 

( Bet you’re wishing I was still on vacation, eh?)

I was Christmas shopping with a friend the other day and we noticed a disturbing trend…

 

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I passed off the first sighting of a poop themed gift as a fluke.

 

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But then I saw this…

 

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And this.

 

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And while I admit a hovering pile of poop drone might be inventive, even slightly creative….. I can’t honestly say I want one flying overhead anytime soon.

I also do not want to stack, or write with poop.

 

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And if that just wasn’t enough poop to satisfy you…

How about some pink girly poop?

 

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Made all the more disturbing by the cryptic packaging.

What the hell is going on there….

Is that a mouth with teeth?

Are you supposed to chew the poop?

Or is the poop coming out of the nostrils?

 

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Right.

And mind you these were not seen in toy stores, where at least a fondness for poop could be explained….but in adult sections of book stores and various department stores in the mall.

Anyway you look at it, it’s disgusting. Or at the very least… childishly stupid. I gave up potty humor at age 4, you should too.

I know the world may seem like it’s going down the toilet lately, but this is one gift giving idea I hope gets flushed.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program…..

Vacation posts are over,  (for a while anyway)  and it’s time to get back to normal, every day nonsensical blogging.

I have lots of odd stuff to catch up on , so let’s get started shall we?

#1…  A while back my husband had his truck restored and painted. It cost a fortune, but he loves that old thing. And apparently, so did this robin.

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Every morning at 6:00am ( before the snow started to fly) this bird showed up.

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He’d hop all over the bed, then the cab… pooping on everything.

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He got very aggressive and fought off other birds if they flew too near.

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The little bastard even dive bombed me a few times.

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#2…  And speaking of dinosaurs,

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We had a visiting Pterodactyl.

(Okay, it was a raven I named Roderick, but damn. He was big.)

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*Note to self – buy bigger bird bath.*

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#3… I saw this in a parking lot last month –

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Clearly this man had been waiting for a long time.

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#4… Good news!

I finally found a pair of jeans made for women who eat too many double stuff Oreos  real women.

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#5… Remember the mutant brain abomination that was growing on my driveway?

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Well, we came home from vacation….

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And found it dead.

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It had turned brown, shriveled up and fallen off it’s stalk. Which was quite a relief.

Until I started thinking that maybe it just….

Hatched.

#6….. You know it’s Christmas time in Maine when you see the holiday trees popping up everywhere.

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Of course, in Maine… trees are made from lobster crates, so make of that what you will.

#7…. And speaking of Christmas, here’s a great gift idea from Vermont.

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Because nothing says I love you better than a wheel of cheese, and a cow you don’t have to clean up after.

You’re welcome.

Bugs and dinner.

 

 

Please note I did not say bugs for dinner. That would just be weird.

Although, admittedly…. a 3 piece cockroach musical ensemble would have been stellar.

 

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No… I’m talking about the last (and best!) part of the Fairbanks Museum.

Bug art!

I turned the final corner, and came face to mandible face with this beauty.

 

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Isn’t it wonderful? I would totally display this on my front lawn, and perhaps pet it as I walked by.

 

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As you can see, it’s a little large for the living room.

 

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So while the husband was examining some ancient knives and swords, ( He glanced at the bugs and kept on walking. Go figure. ) I delved deep into art made from bugs.

 

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Apparently it’s pretty rare, as evidenced by the fact there were only 8 pieces.

And if you’re not a fan of the creepy crawly…

 

 

You might want to scroll down to dinner… which thankfully, was bug free.

But if you’ve always wanted to see a beetle and moth likeness of Abraham Lincoln?

 

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And George Washington?

 

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I’m your girl.

 

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Yes, those really are all bugs.

 

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And bug art really is a thing.

 

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Ain’t it grand?

 

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General Pershing thinks so.

 

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And so do I.

 

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Now for the (boring in comparison) food part of the blog.

 

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Dinner was at a highly recommended little place called The Creamery….

 

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Which, to be honest, felt like someone’s basement.

 

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The bar was full of locals who gave us the stink eye as we walked in…

 

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But the margaritas were large and tasty….

 

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And while the menu was small, everything we had was perfect.

 

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From the crispy green bean appetizer….

 

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To the goat cheese and maple vinaigrette salad…

 

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My fresh, succulent baked scallops with stir fried vegetable medley…

 

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And the husband’s perfectly prepared shrimp scampi.

I would have loved to try their dessert but…

 

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I hate when that happens.

 

 

 

 

 

Stay Spot. Stay….

 

The Fairbanks museum has something for everyone.

 

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Samurai helmets?

 

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And swords?

 

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Check.

 

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And for those who are as fascinated as I am with the rich  history of Japan…

 

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There were dinosaur fossils…

 

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And mastodon obedience training manuals….

 

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Somehow I doubt that turned out well.

 

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There were more dead fine feathered friends..

 

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And a display about sheep back in 1840…

 

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Which begs for the old saying –

Vermont! Where men were men.

And the sheep were afraid.

 

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Although from the look of the numbers, maybe the men should have been afraid.

 

 

The rotating exhibit was a collection of photography from rural Vermont.

 

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They were quite good, but I won’t bore with you with photos of photos…

 

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Except for this one.

 

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That was my reaction too.

I was beginning to rethink my  “Isn’t Vermont a quaint place to live?”  attitude. I mean, really? Who cuts off their wife’s hands, nails them to the barn door and then photographs them?

Who?

 

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Slightly mollified, although vowing never to look at a muskrat the same way… we moved on.

Inching ever closer to the famous bug art.

 

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Yes, apparently it’s quite famous in these parts.

 

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And in case you just can’t wait till tomorrow’s post…

 

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Here are a few beauties to keep you company.

 

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(The bugs, not me.)

 

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You’re welcome.

More Fairbanks oddities….

 

As we made our way down the left side of the top floor of the museum, we encountered a replica of my Monday morning hairdo…

 

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And an  outfit to wear on a Match.com date  entire coconut fiber set of armor.

 

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Yes, coconut.

 

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And fish skin. What’s not to love?

 

 

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I’m not sure that puffer fish helmet would have deflected many blows, but it does have a certain punk rock era appeal.

 

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And as I was oohing and ahhing over the Egyptian section…

 

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I do love me some mummies and canopic jars.

 

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(Not sure where to put your intestines after death? The ancient Egyptians gave a whole new meaning to kitchen canning.)

And then, I saw it.

Across the rail… on the other side.

 

 

Be still my heart!

 

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Could it be?

 

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Yes!

 

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A giant bug sculpture.

 

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And an entire section of bug art!

 

Bug art?

 

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I could hardly contain my delight!

I wanted to run right over, but forced myself to breathe deeply and finish the rest of the museum first.

 

 

I know, I know.

Good things come to those who wait….

Move to Venus, lose 25 lbs.

Admit it, doesn’t that sound more appealing than exercising and giving up cheese for the rest of your natural born days?

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According to the scale at the Fairbanks Museum Planetarium….

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You’ll lose 25lbs on Venus, 107lbs on Mars… and damn Sam!

149lbs on the moon.

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Someone get me Elon’s number, I need to book a flight.

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So yes, the planetarium show.

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It was fabulous. Full of stunning arrays of the solar system and the night sky.

Shame you won’t get to see any of it…

Because once again, cameras were banned.

*Note to self – do not search Giphy for the word boo.

The results will not be what you are expecting.*

Moving on…

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The second floor of the museum was devoted to cultural oddities from around the world.

And of course the building itself was weirdly wonderful.

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The woods were glorious, and that’s a barrel vaulted ceiling. An engineering marvel of it’s day.

Glass display boxes circled the railings….

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And were filled with marvelous pieces of weird history.

Because really, isn’t that the best kind?

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Everything a girl could want was in those cases… jewelry.

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Hair accessories….

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Manicure extenders….

And shoes!

There were shoes!

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Native American moccasins….

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And Chinese Lily Feet slippers….

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Which I have always had a morbid fascination for.

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Heck, I complain about bunion pain….. can you imagine having your feet deformed like this on purpose?

I love me some shoes.

But even I don’t love them that much.

Getting my geek on.

 

Day 5 of vacation dawned and it was screaming museum.

(Okay, maybe only I heard that. But I’ve found it pays to listen to the voices in my head.)

 

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Fairbanks Museum and Planetarium…  a bizarre place.

 

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It was built in 1891 to house a wealthy man’s cabinet of curiosities which had quickly overtaken his house. It was a big house, but hey… he had 175,000 curiosities. Things can get cluttered quickly.

 

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The building itself was a marvel of stone, turrets and arches.

 

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And the first floor was dedicated to specimens.

 

 

No.

Not that kind of specimen.

 

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This kind.

The natural world kind…

 

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(A little bear butt for your viewing pleasure.)

 

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Apparently filthy rich Victorians liked to the travel the world, kill what they saw, then bring it home and stuff it.

 

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And old Fairbanks must have been a taxidermist’s dream.

That’s not to say things didn’t go wrong at times.

 

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And sometimes, horribly wrong.

 

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I’m pretty sure that cat wasn’t grinning during his last seconds on earth.

 

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To say this man was bird obsessed is an understatement.

 

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And while I enjoy a good Black Headed Goatsucker ….

 

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And Common Hoopoe as much as the next girl….

 

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The seemingly endless glass cases filled with dead fine feathered friends began to wear on me.

 

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The Noisy Pitta wasn’t noisy…

 

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And the Jungle Babbler certainly wasn’t babbling.

 

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But I did manage to find some bugs before the scheduled planetarium show.

 

 

And what wonderful bugs they were.

 

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You’re welcome.

 

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