But sometimes, my question is this…
Why would you want to?

Personally, I’ve never felt the need to shed my skin like a snake…
But okay, whatever floats your boat.
And while I enjoy a good bug museum as much as the next girl…

I’ve never felt the need to actually snack on them.
Eww.
This one?

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it just looks…
Wrong.

Likewise for Fred and friends dunking their nether regions in my cup of hot tea.
Just…
No.

I could probably get behind the bread alignment pad…

And sure.
Wine condoms, if anyone actually ever has leftover wine.
(Is that even possible?)
But this last one –
Is not only an affront to common decency…
But the ruination of every backyard bbq and clambake in my foreseeable future.

Damn you Amazon…
I may never eat corn again.