.
I like tea.
I like beer.
I don’t want my tea to taste like beer or my beer to taste like tea… so, why?
.
.
The best liquid ever?
I beg to differ.
.
.
Good grief, it’s not even alcoholic… what’s the point?
And here’s another puzzler I saw in the grocery store snack aisle.
.
.
No cheese cheesiness?
No.
Just, no.
.
.
I do. Even though I’m sure you’d rather I didn’t.
.
.
Yes, this exists. Though I think they’re wrong about the Olympic event.
And if you’re thinking…. that’s great River, but I don’t really care for cereal?
I’ve got your back.
.
.
Pooping Champion Gummies.
.
.
And tea.
You’re welcome.
But if that’s not enough to get you excited about this oh so helpful product? Visit their website and check out the fabulous club you can join.
.
.
Now tell me you don’t want to be a card carrying member of that!
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Covet.
‘To want to have something very much.’
That’s what I thought.
So the answer to my title question is no.
I didn’t covet.
But my town apparently thinks I did.
Who knew a much coveted annual Victorian Tea fundraiser had been cancelled?
Not me.
Heck, I didn’t even know any one was coveting Victorian tea to begin with.
I read an article the other day about one of the world’s most expensive teas.
Yes, tea.
Those lovely little leaves you drop into hot water and steep.
Pure ambrosia….
As long as it’s not the dishwater my MIL used to drink.
If you’re drinking tea? For God’s sake, drink tea.
I love tea, and am always intrigued to try a new one.
Except the one I read about the other day. It was called PET, short for Panda Ecological Tea. This particular tea sells for $200 a cup….. and if that’s not enough to frighten you away, the fact that’s it’s grown in China and is fertilized entirely with panda poo should be.
Apparently pandas poo 40 – 50 times a day, so I’m guessing supply isn’t an issue.
Grown high in the Ya’an mountainous region of Sichuan China, the panda manure tea—or Panda Ecological Tea (PET) by its formal name—is said to be smooth, and offer health benefits because of the way that pandas digest bamboo in the wild—which leaves around 70% of the nutrients in their dung, not their bodies.
Panda manure has also been shown to carry bacteria that break down organic waste more effectively than any other known source. One experiment showed that the bacteria broke 100 kilograms of waste down into 3 kilograms after only a 17 week period, with only carbon dioxide and water byproducts. Researchers think that there is a market for this organic compound capable of reducing waste by 96%, but whether or not organic tea at $200 per cup is the answer, is questionable.
Questionable?
Probably.
Although you can’t fault the marketing campaign….
It’s simply delightful.
And while I was researching this topic?
I stumbled across another panda poo product…
A new type of luxury facial tissue made with recycled Panda feces is set to be launched in China.
The bizarre product, called “Panda poo,” will retail at for $6.54 a box, ten times the price of ordinary tissue paper.
Addressing concerns of skeptics who may find it unhygenic to wipe their faces with feces, Zhou said that there are many processes in place to ensure the product is ready for consumption. After washing and streaming, the paper will be sterilized in high temperatures.
Panda poo.
Who knew it was so versatile?
But sometimes, my question is this…
Why would you want to?
Personally, I’ve never felt the need to shed my skin like a snake…
But okay, whatever floats your boat.
And while I enjoy a good bug museum as much as the next girl…
I’ve never felt the need to actually snack on them.
Eww.
This one?
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it just looks…
Wrong.
Likewise for Fred and friends dunking their nether regions in my cup of hot tea.
Just…
No.
I could probably get behind the bread alignment pad…
And sure.
Wine condoms, if anyone actually ever has leftover wine.
(Is that even possible?)
But this last one –
Is not only an affront to common decency…
But the ruination of every backyard bbq and clambake in my foreseeable future.
Damn you Amazon…
I may never eat corn again.
