Tag Archives: Florida

News you can’t use.

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Because I live for odd headlines.

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If they’re anything like Twinkies, I’m sure they still tasted fine.

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Yes, in 1945 American GI’s liberated a little girl’s birthday cake along with Italy. She looks quite happy now, so I guess what they say is true… it’s never too late for cake.

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While we welcome all wild visitors for a nosh at Casa River … this makes me glad I don’t live in Florida.

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Is this really a gift? I’m going with no.

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News you can’t use.

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A few useless headlines from my news feed, just because.

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Help me out here Florida people. Does this really happen? And if so, why are you not posting pictures! Random lizards falling from the sky should rate a blog now and then.

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It’s official… even the Queen is feeling the pinch of inflation. Keep your eye on eBay, there might be some nice jewelry up for bid soon.

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Most excellent. Here’s hoping they let Willow roam the halls of Congress and poop in Ted Cruz’s briefcase.

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Are we?

I’m not, but if you are … please share. I’ve heard it’s called the God molecule and people experience death when tripping. That doesn’t sound like my idea of a good time, but to each their own.

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Sonoran desert toad is not impressed.

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Only in America

I read something the other day that literally made me snort.

It was a list of people’s thoughts on visiting the United States for the first time…. and what they found unusual.

Here are a few.

I dare you not to laugh.

Because really…

Sometimes you need more from 7/11 than a raspberry Slurpee.

Well, we do like to super size things.

Including our hips, thighs and waistlines.

That’s so true you don’t have to laugh.

Also true.

And before your uber patriotic fingers start typing hate mail… we’re a family of veterans, I love my country. But you have to admit, we are very in your face about it.

Ha!

They have a point there.

How does this happen?

 

A little background before we begin:

I have a YouTube channel.

The only reason I have a YouTube channel is so I can post short ridiculous videos of meaningless drivel here on my blog.

 

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Nests, ducks, ants, roof leaks and the ever popular baby barn.

As you can see by the number of views, my audience is limited. And who can blame them? Watching my roof leak will only excite a small demographic.

Yes, occasionally a friend will stumble on my channel and watch a few…. but without my blog narrative they don’t make a whole lot of sense.

Which is fine, because I don’t have time for… nor interest in…. promoting this channel.

So I have to ask… why?

 

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Why have I gone from 8 subscribers to 805?

 

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And while I don’t mean this to be a racially charged statement…. there aren’t any John or Jane Smiths on the list.

 

 

 

Totskie Pacino.

Al’s 3rd cousin twice removed? Could be.

After a little research, I found comments.

 

 

 

I didn’t understand them, but I found them.

And upon further study it seems this video, that I posted when we visited the Jacksonville, Florida Zoo 2 years ago….

 

 

 

Is the reason.

 

 

Holy mother of wombats!

It went from 7 views to 100,000 in the span of a week.

And a few days later?

 

 

Another 92,000 views. WTH?

Is there some lame international search engine that was so desperate to provide results they chose my far from riveting 51 second clip over this?

 

 

 

 

I’m befuddled.

I mean hell,  my video wasn’t titled Look At This Awesome Tiger! So why are 192,988 people searching the web for IMG 5867?

Yes, I’m befuddled. And also a little ticked.

 

 

Clearly Evelyne Robinson hasn’t been paying attention.

If I did indeed have a tiger?

He’d be as fat as momma woodchuck and unable to nimbly traverse my lovely backyard waterfall.

*Note to self – check into installing lovely backyard waterfall. Red squirrels can’t swim*

 

 

 

Yes, my views are up.

But once these subscribers realize it’s nothing but woodchucks and barn insulation, I fear my stats will be taking a dramatic downturn.

Sorry Totskie.