Tag Archives: humor

A boy and his platypus.

.

There is a platypus on our spare bed.

.

.

If you’re wondering why, I have one word. Hysterectomy.

And the two word reasons for these?

.

.

Renal arteriogram and uterine artery embolization.

Okay… that’s actually five, but you get the idea. Every time I go into the hospital my husband buys me a stuffed animal for company.

They’ve been on our beds for years but it’s only recently that Lord Dudley Mountcatten has decided the platypus makes a good snuggle buddy.

.

.

Most afternoons you’ll find him here, napping with his new friend.

At times it’s hard to tell where he ends and the platypus begins.

.

.

But whatever you do, don’t disturb his slumber.

.

.

There will be Hell to pay.

😉

.

Cut it out Gregg.

.

With thanks to whoever introduced me to Goodreads… Mark?… I’m really enjoying the app and being able to keep track of all my books.

The option to connect with friends and fellow reading obsessed people is fun and the reviews are helpful.

But… you knew there was a but… then there’s Gregg.

I have no idea who Gregg is but he found me on the site and keeps sending friend requests which I continue to deny.

This is Gregg.

And while most people say a little something about themselves and their reading habits, Gregg took a different route. A rather desperate I’m striking out on eHarmony and Tinder so let’s troll Goodreads for chicks route.

.

.

Don’t believe me?

Check out his friends list.

.

.

Notice anything strange?

.

.

There’s a decided lack of testosterone here.

.

.

And if you still need more convincing?

.

.

Gregg doesn’t seem to be much of a reader either.

🤣

.

I’m more voracious than I thought.

.

Before joining Goodreads I never gave much thought to how much I read. I knew it was a lot, books are stuffed in every nook and cranny of our house and my Amazon deliveries are epic. But I don’t keep all the books I’ve finished… I couldn’t, they would literally bury me… so I never did a yearly count until now.

Goodreads has a annual challenge where you set a goal and check off as you go.

My prediction of the number of books I’d read this year was slightly off.

.

.

I thought 75 seemed like a good number… but clearly it was a little low.

.

.

It’s early May and it looks like I’m 50 books ahead of schedule.

Oops.

.

A few chuckles and a tear.

.

Just a couple of things that made me smile.

Like this picture of a receipt from our local pub one of the bartenders posted .

.

.

I’m afraid to ask what she did to deserve that kind of tip….. but kudos to her all the same.

.

.

Cats.

Proof positive you can nap anywhere.

.

.

I know what to do.

Run!

😳

.

.

No doubt about what they sell here.

.

.

This photo popped up in my Facebook memories the other day and made me cry.

Our beautiful boy Huffington. A stray who wandered in, stole our hearts and was tragically run over by a car two years later. As a pet lover you always hate to say you have a favorite, but this guy was special.

And to be honest? He got more use out of that exercise bicycle than we did.

😉

Be careful what you wish for….

.

As I mentioned a while back, my husband purchased a new weed whacker. He’s always had great big gas powered things, but with the ethanol additives in fuel and our cold winters it seems they’re always breaking down and dying.

This time around he went battery operated because he bought this brand’s battery hedge trimmer last year and loved it.

Naturally, he put it together in the living room… because that’s what one does.

.

.

Excited to try his new toy, upon completion he took it outside and starting whacking the first thing he saw… grass along the edge of our garage.

You know, the section you see immediately upon exiting our kitchen door.

Apparently my spouse did not realize the power of his new tool because…

This happened.

.

.

Yup.

He weed whacked a nice long strip of the vinyl siding.

.

.

Ain’t that just ducky?

😩

.

Whatever happened to aging gracefully?

.

I’m 59 years old and most definitely not as toned and tight as I once was. My hair is greying, my knee is shot… I have bunions FFS! But aging is a part of life and reflects who I am now, not the silly 20 year old I see in pictures and hardly recognize.

Much as I’d love to hook up a Hoover to my thighs and suction off a few doughnuts, I won’t. I also won’t be nipping and tucking anything on my face like these ladies… who in my opinion would’ve been better off with a few wrinkles.

Remember Melanie Griffith?

.

.

Working Girl? Milk Money?

.

.

Damn!

Remember perky little Meg Ryan? America’s sweetheart from When Harry Met Sally and You’ve Got Mail?

.

.

What’s with the lips? Why do they think bigger will make them look younger.

And then there’s Renee Zellwegger from Bridget Jones Diary.

.

.

She doesn’t even look like the same person and yet she swears she hasn’t had any work done. Her reason for the transformation? She’s happy.

Well so am, I but I still look like myself.

And finally there’s Madonna, to whom I can only say…

.

.

WTF?

.

.

This is truly frightening.

.

Let’s play.

.

What have you got to lose, except time.

.

.

I’d say an 8 track player or the dimmer switch on the floor but let’s go with this one.. as seen in my husband’s truck.

.

.

It’s one of my spouse’s favorite features and I swear he keeps buying old trucks because the new ones don’t have it.

.

.

It’s that triangular corner window that acts like a directional air conditioner… at least in Maine where the air is usually cool.

He seriously loves these things and if you’ve ever ridden in an older truck you know they can force some serious air.

How about you…

What’s unrecognizable in your old vehicle?

.

What more curd you ask?

.

The husband and I have been on the road a lot lately, shuffling from nursing home to hospice and back again. This means a decided lack of cooking at Casa River and numerous meals have been eaten out. While I enjoy my favorite haunts and their prodigious cocktail mixing, sometimes you just have to suck it up and go full on diner.

We’ve hit a few good ones, a few bad ones and a few that offered up some extremely odd selections.

.

.

Yes, I live in Maine. Yes, it’s close to Canada.

But no, I have never embraced the regional favorite known as poutine. As for a hunk of barbecue bologna may I just say…

🤢

.

.

I don’t care what you cover them in… no.

.

.

Leave my burger alone poutine!

.

.

Thankfully diner desserts are usually more appealing.

Take this lemon blueberry cake with fresh blueberry lavender compote. It was so huge and rich I took it home and ate it for 3 straight days.

🤣