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Don’t groan, I know you enjoy these… even if you don’t want to admit it.
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I’ll get things rolling….
My rap name is LIL Cellulite Cream. Making slightly pudgy menopausal women over 50 shake their groove thing like they did before their thighs resembled cottage cheese.
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And before you store a disturbing mental image of my marbled thighs, summer is coming and the lotion I bought is more of a tightener. I’m not cheesy, just jiggly.
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Ready?
Let’s play!
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And for the sake of equality, let’s add ‘or penis’ to the instructions.
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Yes, I’m afraid we are. Here, I’ll go first.
The name of my vagina is…. Homeland.
Which you have to admit is pretty damn spectacular.
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Because he’s simply too photogenic not to share.
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Dudley likes to play with balls, and basically any round thing that rolls.
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Including raspberries his human drops on the floor.
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He also likes to stretch….
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And then runs out of energy before getting back in his original position. He sleeps like this all the time.
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While his takeover of the house is pretty much complete, from the look of this photo…. I fear the television might be next.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten loves to play.
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Which is why we have an entire drawer dedicated to cat toys.
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He loves his toys long and hard … and his favorite mouse is looking a little worse for wear these days.
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But then so am I, so I shouldn’t judge.
His favorite new thing to do is carry a ball to a spot under the coffee table….
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And then wind himself around a leg.
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He goes around and around in a circle and it’s quite comical to watch.
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Until I took a closer look and realized most of the coffee table legs now look like this…
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Sigh.
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So the free pool table… the one that has cost us approximately $14,000 ( and counting ) in storage barn to man cave renovations… actually saw some action last weekend.
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Two of the husband’s coworkers came by for the afternoon (no worries, all 3 men are fully vaccinated) for Cajun gumbo, beer and pool. I don’t play, so I know my other half was happy. And me? I was happy because I received another bar christening gift.
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I’d never even heard of this whiskey but it turned out to have a pleasing toasted undertone.
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After two games of pool, it was determined the table needed to go from horizontal placement to vertical to allow more shooting space.
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Which then required multiple leveling maneuvers. Turns out the barn floor is not at all level. Shocking, I know.
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Play continued into the night, as did the whiskey drinking and strange reflections from the overhead lighting.
A good time was had by all… and let me tell you, it was nice to host even two people after a year of no socializing with friends.
😊
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten is a constant source of entertainment.
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And not just a little bit goofy.
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But who can blame him? When you have a fun toy permanently attached to your ass, you have to make the most of it….
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He’s a weirdo.
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But a lovable weirdo.
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Yes, this might be a thing for a while.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten has discovered my computer… and in typical cat fashion must get in between me and it whenever I attempt usage.
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And as you can see by his level of relaxation….
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He has finally decided we are fit to live with and worthy enough to wait on him hand and foot.
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His highness is not overly thrilled with being picked up and cuddled…
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But realizes the daily allotment of weed is dependent upon keeping the humans amused.
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Why is it every time you try to video a cat playing with toys they stop dead and stare at you?
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My weekly skunking of the husband at Scrabble in the Barn Mahal continues. And now? Even the tiles are getting in on the fun…
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Yes, those were really the letters I drew. And it’s pretty much what I did to the husband in game number one.
Not to be out done, our second game’s tiles had their say as well.
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My last four letters said it all.
Sorry, dear. I only do what the tiles tell me…
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Since skunking my husband at Scrabble has become a weekly pastime… I decided to up our game.
Literally.
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Bigger tiles for the where the hell did I leave my reading glasses now? visually challenged due to encroaching decrepitude crowd.
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And a much bigger, fancier, wooden, swiveling board with raised ridges to keep the letters in place.
How much bigger?
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Well, the box said giant and that’s a pretty apt description.
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So far we’re loving it.
But I’m afraid it’s going to have to be a permanent decorative fixture… because if you think the board is big, you should see the friggin’ enormous box it came in.
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So I had to buy it.
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Because our weekly Scrabble games demanded it… and I’m tired of the husband getting mad when I tell him his word doesn’t exist.
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Hornito is a mound of volcanic matter?
I always thought it was a tequila.
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I admit to not knowing recta was the plural of rectum… and won’t comment on its proximity to the word rectory.
Nope. Not going there.
And speaking of Jesus…
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All this was fascinating but I draw the line here.
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Grr should not be an acceptable Scrabble word.
And grrrl?
Apparently it references a feminist punk rock movement in the Northwest called Riot Grrrl.
I call foul. And despise common usage additions to dictionaries.
P.S. don’t tell my husband.
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River's world..... 