This week’s CSA bounty was full.
With onions, fairy tale eggplants, celery, garlic, basil, rainbow chard, tomatoes, carrots, and salad mix.
But did you see it?
There, on the right hand side…
A slightly wrong tomato.
It’s either flipping me off…
Or sticking out it’s tongue.
Either way?
It’s rude produce, and that’s just wrong.
Remember the bizarre eggplant?
The ‘extremely happy to see you’ eggplant?
We decided to gift it to our local pub’s owner/bartender/new friend.
He wasn’t quite sure what to make of it at first…. and tried to pass it off to his employee.
Who immediately weaponized it.
And then succumbed to it’s charms.
And once he saw how well it was being received?
He fell in love.
I mean really, how could you not?
At first glance our weekly bounty looked like any other.
Basil, carrots, rainbow chard, tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce, onions, eggplant, zucchini and squash.
But on closer inspection?
The eggplant looked….
Happy.
But wrong.
So very, very wrong.
The summer bounty continues.
And if you’ve never tried fresh lemon basil?
Please do. It’s wonderful.
Vegan bratwurst? Oh, the horror!
Kindly keep your kale out of my artery clogging sausage. If this shows up at the next beer festival I attend….. there will be blood in the streets.
My only question here is… why?
And for something on the opposite end of the spectrum…..
Which also makes me ask… why?
Heritage popcorn?
Proof positive yuppies will buy anything that’s ridiculously overpriced.
Is it any surprise this was the only bottle left? I think not.
And finally, the real shock of the day.
Toilet paper is back… and brand names at that!
So if you heard them broadcast a code for ‘crazy lady doing happy dance on aisle 13’?
Pay no attention, the unadulterated joy of not wiping my butt with sandpaper just got away from me for a moment.
This week brought a nice harvest from across the road.
Fresh chives, garlic scapes, carrots, Italian green beans, tomato, radicchio, dill, radish, garlic, mesclun mix, the dreaded and totally unwanted kale…. and a monster zucchini.
Which made this picture someone posted on our local Facebook page all the funnier.
The woodchucks got the kale, and to be honest they looked less than thrilled as well.
At the grocery store this week?
What the hell happened to Triscuits?
I can’t find those, but lentil with turmeric crackers abound.
🤢
Brown rice rollers.
I might considering curling my hair with them, but as a snack?
No.
And what fresh hell is this?
Plant based Oreos?
That’s an abomination.
This week’s harvest from our neighbor’s CSA yielded scallions, cabbage, beets, Swiss chard, basil, parsley, garlic scapes, a tomato, a zucchini and raspberries.
Needless to say the raspberries were demolished with ice cream the first night and since we craved more, we headed across the road to their farm stand.
I can’t say I’ve ever seen a tractor trailer box renovated into a turquoise and gold farm stand…
But hey, it works.
Fairy tale eggplant?
There are so many off color jokes I could make right now my brain is threatening to explode.
And in case you’re wondering how the veggies don’t bake in the heat?
Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Just as we were about to leave, our neighbor’s daughters showed us all of her father’s left over apple trees. He’d planted as many as he could for his new orchard and didn’t want the rest.
You know where this is going…. right?
Free trees?
Yeah.
It’s been 100 degrees in the shade, the ground is solid concrete because we haven’t had any rain for weeks… and my husband wants to plant more trees.
Stay tuned.
Our neighbor’s farm is still churning out a bounty.
This week it was fresh basil, beets, parsley, Boston lettuce, giant scallions, heirloom zucchini and a large radish.
But oh, what a beautiful radish it was…
Who knew they could be so gorgeous!
This week at my local grocery store…
Seriously, are we back to hoarding paper towels now?
WTF.
It’s enough to make me want to grab a pitchfork and storm someone’s pantry. The world is not ending Karen… you don’t need 72 rolls of Bounty.
On another note, this –
Parmesan style what?
And why in hell would anyone buy fake cheese.
For all we know that stuff is grated styrofoam.
Sprinkle it on your spaghetti or cushion that garden gnome you’re mailing to Aunt Edna.. it’s nothing if not versatile.
And finally…. pie.
But not the fruit or cream variety.
Shepherd’s Pie, one of my husband’s favorite comfort foods.
Made with ground lamb thank you very much. If it’s beef, it’s Cottage Pie.
It shouldn’t surprise you to know the husband ate every drop of these two dishes. I’ll cook it, but rarely eat it. Too bland by far.
This week’s offering from our CSA was a little lean on our end because there were a lot of things we don’t eat and elected to let our neighbor take.
Cilantro, bok choi, kale, turnips, spigarello, fennel, and kohlrabi? We passed.
But the chard was rainbow colored…
So there is that.
And in the continuing saga of bizarre grocery items found on my local shelves…..
Every possible mutation of pasta imaginable are still being pushed.
As is the ever present (and still disgusting) kale.
Delicious? I doubt it.
Crazy good? Not possible.
Stop the insanity and put kale back where it belongs…. in a rabbit’s colon. Other than the trash can, that’s the only proper place.
Thankfully there was one sane product line of which I took full advantage.
Let the grilling begin.
Our half share of the 3rd CSA from our neighbor was a lovely assortment.
Swiss chard, white radishes, green leaf lettuce, carrots, mesclun mix, spinach, cucumber, basil and ….
What I thought was parsley.
But turned out to be chervil. If nothing else, I’m learning a lot about green things this summer.
With those fresh ingredients, it was spinach salad with apples, radish, mushroom and purple onion for dinner.
Yes, I like a little parm on top as well.
A bright berry mixed green salad was dinner the next night.
Week 4 saw the family we split with out of town, so we received the entire share.
And that’s a big bag of veg.
Zucchini, turnip, cucumber, mustard greens, parsley, carrots, mesclun mix, parsnip, spinach, lemon basil, butterhead lettuce and cilantro.
Not being fennel fans, we passed that and the dreaded cilantro off to a friend.
But ooh la la!
Fresh aromatic lemon basil meant from scratch marinade…
For delicious grilled chicken breasts that night.
Recipe below if anyone is interested.
Our second batch of organic veggies from across the street was a nice bonanza.
Red lettuce, spinach, mixed greens, snap peas, zucchini, celeriac, chard, turnip…. and something I couldn’t identify.
Since there was a cornucopia of greens that day, salad was on the dinner menu… and because this was green?
In it went.
Bad idea. Very bad.
It was the bitterest, most noxious thing to ever enter my mouth.
Doing a little research, I discovered it might be a variety of kale.
Curly kale.
No wonder I didn’t like it!
And no surprise it ended up here:
And take my advice, if anyone offers you celeriac?
Run.
It looks like a giant turd….
It’s hard to peel.
And will break your tooth if you’re not careful.
There’s a reason most people throw it out when they grow celery.
And now, I know why.
